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Reddit user /u/sebababy's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of someone who is detransitioning/desisting. The user discusses personal physical changes, mental health struggles, social dynamics, and specific, relatable experiences (like family not using their name) that are common and deeply personal to this community. The tone is passionate and opinionated, which aligns with the warning that detransitioners can be angry or frustrated, but it does not read as manufactured or artificial.

About me

I started identifying as a trans man because I felt a deep discomfort with my female body and puberty. I took testosterone, but I realized I didn't truly want to look like a man either. Now I'm detransitioning and living as a woman again, but I feel stuck between both worlds with my deeper voice and facial hair. I think my real issue was with puberty and self-image, not with being male. My goal now is to find peace as an androgynous, butch woman.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I just felt so uncomfortable with myself. I never liked my body, especially during puberty when I developed breasts. I hated them; they never felt like they belonged to me. I had really low self-esteem and a lot of anxiety about growing up and becoming a woman. I think looking back, a lot of it was just a deep discomfort with puberty itself.

I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. A lot of my ideas about what that meant came from being online. I saw other people talking about their experiences and it felt like an answer for why I felt so out of place. I ended up taking testosterone for a while. I liked some of the changes it gave me, but it also made me look like a man, which I’m now realizing isn’t what I truly wanted either. I’m only 5'3" and I have really small hands and feet, so I always felt like I never really "passed" well and that people could always tell I was born female.

I never got any surgeries, but I thought about top surgery a lot because of how much I hated having breasts. Now, I'm glad I didn't go through with it. I’m detransitioning now, which means I’m living as a woman again. But it’s confusing. I still have facial hair from the testosterone and my voice is deeper. I feel stuck between two worlds—calling myself a woman but looking like a man. I know I need to work up the courage to shave my face and just try to live as a butch woman. I think that’s my goal now, to be more androgynous.

I don’t have any regrets about exploring my identity because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret how quickly I jumped into medical transition without really understanding my own feelings. I think my discomfort was more about puberty and my own self-image than actually being a man. I also think I had some internalized homophobia; I’m attracted to women and I think part of me thought it would be easier to be a man in a relationship with a woman than to be a gay woman.

I don’t have a pronoun preference anymore. I like the idea of letting people know that because I think it helps people feel more comfortable around me. It’s a shitty feeling when people refuse to use your name, no matter who you are. Even though I’m detransitioned, my family still refuses to use my original name, which is really hard.

I still love seeing trans representation in media because I can relate to the feeling of being called the wrong name. It’s a human thing to want to be seen for who you are.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13-14 Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts.
19 Began identifying as non-binary.
20 Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone.
22 Stopped taking testosterone and began my detransition back to living as a woman.
23 (now) Currently navigating life as a detransitioned woman, working towards an androgynous presentation.

Top Comments by /u/sebababy:

5 comments • Posting since February 8, 2024
Reddit user sebababy (detrans female) discusses her struggle with identity and the mental health impact of presenting as a woman while having a masculine appearance, planning to shave and live as a butch woman.
11 pointsFeb 25, 2024
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This is good advice. I def need to work up the courage to shave my face and maybe just live as a butch woman instead of being in this state of calling myself a woman but looking like a man. I think that’s also damaging to my mental health and idk how much longer I can do it.

Reddit user sebababy (detrans female) comments on why trans men often don't fully pass, citing her own experience with height and small hands/feet.
6 pointsFeb 25, 2024
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Yeah I agree trans men pass better than trans women but they still almost always end up with a lot of tells. Like for me when I IDed as a trans man my height and smalls hands/feet gave me away bc I’m only 5’3 with the tiniest feminine hands and feet ever lol

Reddit user sebababy (detrans female) comments about planning to detransition while keeping he/him pronouns and an androgynous appearance, aiming to make others comfortable by having no pronoun preference.
6 pointsFeb 8, 2024
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I think that’s what I’m doing to end up doing tbh. I’m a feminine person, like wearing makeup and having my nails done etc but when it comes to clothing and some of the changes I got on t, I like them. I think eventually I’ll end up being more androgynous and I think that’s my goal.

I like the idea of letting people know I don’t have a pronoun preference because I think it’ll also help more people be comfortable around me.

Reddit user sebababy (detrans female) comments on the neglect of hygiene and skincare among some older trans men, suggesting they avoid it for fear of being perceived as feminine.
3 pointsFeb 25, 2024
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I mean I’m not saying it’s all of them but it’s a lot of them. I feel like there needs to be a sub or a group in general for trans men and how to take better care of yourself while on testosterone. I’ve seen them use the “I’m just like a teenage boy I don’t know how to do things yet” excuse yet they’re in their 30’s and can’t take an extra shower or adopt a skincare routine. I think many may see those things as too feminine and things that men don’t do. Idk.

Reddit user sebababy (detrans female) comments on The Last of Us Part II's trans character Lev, relating his experience of being deadnamed to her own as a detransitioned woman whose family still uses her old name.
3 pointsFeb 23, 2024
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I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but even though I’m detrans I still love seeing trans representation in movies and video games. I love tlou and I loved lev. He is such a sweet character and I can relate a lot to his discomfort when the scars call him the wrong name. I never changed my name back when I started my detransition and I still have people in my family who refuse to use it even though I’m a woman again. It’s a shitty feeling no matter if you’re trans or not.