This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display:
- Personal, detailed narratives with specific timelines (e.g., "8 years," "10 years").
- Emotional complexity and self-reflection, including shame and criticism of their past self.
- Internal consistency in their story across multiple comments.
- A perspective that aligns with known desister/detransitioner experiences, including passion and criticism of trans ideology.
The account presents as a genuine desisted woman.
About me
I was a lonely 12-year-old who found community online, where I was introduced to gender ideology and yaoi. I thought becoming a gay man was the answer to my depression and the safe way to be attracted to men. I lived that way for eight years, but being called 'he' never felt right. I've now gone back to my birth name and she/her pronouns, and it finally feels natural. I see now it was a delusion built on self-hatred, and I'm finally comfortable just being a straight woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, around 12. I didn't have any friends in real life, so I spent all my time online, especially on Tumblr. That's where I was first exposed to all this gender and sexuality stuff. I also found a lot of yaoi and gay shipping content.
I was always a tomboy and could never relate to other girls. I felt much more comfortable with boys. I also had a lot of mental health problems, like depression and really low self-esteem. In my young, confused mind, being trans seemed like the perfect explanation for why I never fit in and why I felt so terrible all the time.
I had some bad experiences with men, but I was also really attracted to them. Getting into yaoi felt like a safe way to explore that attraction because it was made by women for women. The thought of being with a real, heterosexual man felt scary and unsafe. So I started to believe I was actually a gay man trapped in a woman's body. This gave me an explanation for my pain, a way to avoid the things I hated about being a woman, and it let me keep being attracted to men. Plus, it gave me these "cool" labels. I wasn't just a boring straight girl; I was a gay trans man. It felt like an escape.
I lived as a trans man for eight years. Everyone called me he/him. But it never felt completely right. Even after all that time, being referred to as male always felt a little off. I also thought I hated my birth name, but I've realized I just had enormous self-hatred in general. My name is long and uncommon, so I associated it with all that pain. I thought I would hate it forever.
About a month ago, I told everyone I wanted to go back to she/her pronouns and my birth name. It felt weird at first, but never as weird as being called 'he' did. Now, it feels natural. And I actually really like my birth name now. It turns out I just needed to work on accepting myself.
Looking back, the logic I used to become trans feels absolutely absurd. It was a complete delusion. I used my identity to justify my consumption of yaoi, too. As a young teen, I felt ashamed of liking it. But when I identified as a gay trans man, I felt like I was allowed to indulge in it without feeling gross. I even made fun of other girls who liked it, calling them fetishists. The level of projection was insane.
I don't think people shouldn't be allowed to modify their bodies. If a woman wants to remove her breasts or a man wants to take estrogen, that's their choice. But I believe it should be seen as a personal body modification, something you pay for yourself because you want it, not a medically necessary procedure. Medically necessary is like insulin for diabetes. Altering your body because you feel it's wrong is a sign of mental illness and should be treated that way.
I do have some regrets about transitioning. I regret that I spent so many years living a life that wasn't truly me, all because of internalized homophobia, low self-esteem, and a need to escape my own pain. I'm a straight woman, and I finally feel like I can just be that.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Spent all my time online on Tumblr, found gender ideology and yaoi content. Felt like an outcast and had mental health issues. |
| 14 | Came out as a gay trans man, believing it explained why I didn't fit in and was a "safe" way to be attracted to men. |
| 14-22 | Lived as a trans man for 8 years. Used he/him pronouns but it never felt completely right. |
| 22 | Told friends and family I wanted to go back to she/her pronouns and my birth name. |
| 22 | Realized my self-hatred was the problem, not my body or name. Now comfortable as a straight woman. |
Top Comments by /u/senapskatt:
Oh for sure. I have a friend who came out as a trans woman in the beginning of 2020. I was still deep in the trans ideology at the time, so I tried to help them figure out their identity. They basically said they were trans because they didn't like their body, and thought female bodies looked a lot better.
Before this, me and this friend had a sort of weird relationship. We were sexual with each other at some points. My friend was clearly straight, but I identified as a trans man at the time, and they did not respect this at all. They at one point even asked me to detransition for them so they could sexualize me even more.
They were also obsessed with anime and particularly anime girls. Had a fucking titty mousepad and owned a fleshlight with an anime girl on it.
They groped me at a party once, in front of everyone. They would also send me weird sexual anime memes. I told them to stop several times but they didn't care. Also, when we had a sexual (and kind of also romantic) relationship, they talked to me about girls they had been messaging and even showed me some poor girl's nudes that they had gotten.
After coming out as trans, they are absolutely obsessed with the idea of being a lesbian, and even wanted to tattoo "lesbian" in japanese writing on their body. I'm not sure if they've done it yet. They are dating a nonbinary person (female) but calls them their girlfriend and uses female pronouns all the time. I mean, not that I care that much but you can't behave like that if you at the same time are gonna demand that people call you a girl when you don't look like one at all.
I'm a straight detrans woman. I used to spend a LOT of time on tumblr when I was 12-14 years old (I had no real life friends at the time lol) and unavoidably came across gender and sexuality stuff. Also a lot of yaoi and gay shipping.
I had always been a tomboy, and could never fit in with the other girls, I could relate to boys way more. I also had a lot of mental illness. So, in my irrational child brain, being trans seemed like the obvious explanation for why I had never fit in and also why I always felt like shit.
I had also had bad experiences with men, but also a strong attraction towards them. So I got really into yaoi and shipping, since it was almost always created by women and the characters were written in a way that appealed to women. It felt like a safe way to indulge in my attraction to males, since the thought of engaging with real life males, especially heterosexual ones, didn't feel safe.
So I started thinking I was a gay man trapped in a woman's body. That way, I had an explanation for being an outcast and for my mental illness, I could avoid all the negative things about being a woman (gender roles, sexualisation etc) while still being able to be with males, AND I got to have not one but TWO cool epic labels to place on myself. No, I wasn't a boring heterosexual cis woman, I'm actually a gay transgender man!!!
Now, as I've came out of my delusions and realized I don't want to live this lifestyle anymore (that I lived for 10 years), it feels absolutely absurd thinking about the "logic" I used in order to explain why I wasn't just a straight woman. Like what the actual fuck was I thinking lmao.
100% agree. I think people should be able to do whatever they want with their own bodies. I don't care if a stranger tattoos their whole face or gets huge breast implants or something like that. And if a woman wants to remove her breasts, or a man wants to take estrogen, then why should I care?
But as you say, it should be seen as a bodymod that they pay for themselves, not a medically necessary procedure. "Medically necessary" would be for example taking insulin if you have diabetes, or amputating an arm with necrosis. Not altering your body for aesthetic purposes just because you FEEL that your body is somehow wrong. That is a clear sign of mental illness and should be treated as such.
I am ashamed to admit it but yes this used to be me. As a young teenager I consumed a lot of yaoi content but felt ashamed of it. But when I started identifying as a trans gay man I felt like I was finally free of that shame and could indulge in it without feeling gross. I would also make fun of fujoshis and call them fetishists etc. The level of projection was insane lol.
I used to feel like this. I was living as a trans man for 8 years and have been called he/him since then. I just recently told my friends and family that I wanted to be called she again and it felt weird at first, but never as weird as being called he. Being referred to as male never really felt right for me either, even after 8 years. Now it feels natural to be called she.
I also thought I hated my birth name but it turns out I just had enormous self hatred in general, and since my name is kind of long and not that common, I strongly associated that name with my self hatred and ended up hating the name too only for that reason. Now I've gone back to my birthname since about a month back and I actually really like it now lol. I really thought I would hate that name forever but it turns out I was wrong and just needed to work on my self acceptance.