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Reddit user /u/sensicalsense's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
influenced by friends
now infertile
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
only transitioned socially
autistic
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account "sensicalsense" appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments display:

  • A consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative of desisting after social transition.
  • Complex emotional reasoning, including personal regrets, fears, and the influence of an autism diagnosis.
  • A writing style that is conversational, varies in length, and includes personal anecdotes—all hallmarks of human communication.
  • A tone of passionate advocacy and support that aligns with the stated experiences of many in the detrans community.

About me

I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my female body as a teenager and was convinced by online communities that I must be trans. I socially transitioned to live as a man for a while, but the fear of permanent medical procedures held me back. Getting diagnosed with autism was a huge turning point that helped me understand my feelings in a completely new way. I've since stopped identifying as trans and now see myself as a masculine female person. I'm working on accepting my body and have found so much more peace by just living my life without labels.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager, around 17. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them; they felt alien and wrong on me. At the same time, I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression, and I had very low self-esteem. I found a lot of communities online that seemed to have the answers. They said that if you hated your body and felt like you’d be happier as a different gender, then you were probably trans. It made sense to me at the time, and I was heavily influenced by what I read online and by friends who were also exploring their gender.

I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to me thinking I was a trans man. I socially transitioned, starting with my then-girlfriend (who is now my wife), asking her to use she/her pronouns and female terms for me. It was really difficult and felt unnatural for a long time. It took months for it not to be upsetting to hear those pronouns. I branched out to friends and then family. I thought about medical transition a lot. I looked into taking testosterone and getting top surgery. The idea of getting rid of my breasts was very appealing.

But I never went through with any medical procedures. I have very severe anxiety, and the fear of regret held me back. I’ve always regretted permanent changes to my body, like tattoos, so the idea of surgeries and hormones, which could have serious health complications and make me infertile, terrified me. I knew that if I was lucky, I might look like a man, but I would always be a female who was taking medications and having surgeries. That reality check was important for me.

A huge turning point was getting a diagnosis for autism. It helped me understand myself so much better. A lot of my feelings about my body and social confusion started to make sense in a different way. My views on gender itself began to change. I realized I didn't need to change my body to be a masculine person. I decided that transition wasn't the most helpful way to deal with my dysphoria. I started to work on accepting my body as a part of me that doesn't define who I am.

I completely desisted from identifying as trans. I don't consider myself a "cis woman" really; I'm just a masculine person who happens to be female. I'm a lesbian, and embracing that identity has been a big part of feeling whole. Letting go of the labels and just living my life, presenting how I want without worrying if it's masculine or feminine, has been freeing. It’s been like deprogramming myself. My dysphoria has significantly reduced since I stopped transitioning. I still don't like having breasts, but I work on accepting them, especially because my wife and I plan to have children, and I want to be able to carry and breastfeed them, even if the idea is still uncomfortable.

I do have some regrets. I regret socially transitioning and changing my pronouns. It made me hyper-aware of how people refer to me in a way I never was before. But it’s not the end of the world. My main advice to anyone questioning is to disengage from online trans communities because they can fuel these intrusive thoughts. Focus on living your life without letting gender rule everything. Caution, consideration, and counseling are vital. I benefited from therapy to help untangle my feelings. My journey taught me that the goal isn't to become someone else, but to find peace with who you already are.

Age Event
17 Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and breasts during puberty. Began exploring gender identity online.
19 Socially transitioned, starting with my girlfriend using she/her pronouns.
20 Came out to friends and family as a trans man. Seriously considered but decided against medical transition (testosterone and top surgery) due to anxiety and fear of regret.
21 Received an autism diagnosis, which helped me understand my experiences differently. Began to desist from a trans identity.
22 Fully desisted. Stopped identifying as trans and began identifying as a masculine lesbian. Worked on accepting my body as it is.

Top Comments by /u/sensicalsense:

5 comments • Posting since January 23, 2020
Reddit user sensicalsense (desisted female) comments on the importance of detransitioners, offering support and therapy advice to a hopeless OP.
33 pointsAug 20, 2020
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I know people always say this, but if you have access to any sort of therapy I would recommend that. Something like better help might be worth looking into.

I can't fully understand what you're going through, but I personally have trouble expressing myself. Sometimes it feels like my thoughts are "stuck" in my head and I can't speak them. A therapist might help you work out some of these feelings in a way that feels more coherent.

If you want to talk you can dm me. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts before and I know how isolating they can be.

And we don't know what percentage of trans people detransition, but even if it's 1% that doesn't mean they don't matter. You aren't collateral damage and your voice, story, and life are all important.

Reddit user sensicalsense comments on a teenager with AGP, advising against transition and warning of toxic positivity in trans communities.
7 pointsJan 23, 2020
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Why would you want to sterilize yourself and undergo multiple experimental surgeries with unpredictable outcomes if you're not even unhappy with how you are?

Don't ask on trans subs, they'll just tell you if you ever think you might possibly be trans than you are. If you want to be trans you are. If you don't want to be trans you still are but you have internalized transphobia. If I listened to them I would have transitioned instead of desisting. You need to decide what you genuinely want and decide if the consequences are worth it.

The idea that "if you would rather live as a woman you should transition" is toxic. If you do decide to medically transition you won't become a woman. You'll be a male who's taking a lot of medications and having elective surgeries to look like a woman. If you're lucky you'll look enough like one that people won't immediately realize you're male. If you're not, well..

Honestly, I recommend disengaging from the entire trans scene both online and irl because they'll just fuel these intrusive thoughts. Just focus on living your life as you are without trying to put a label on everything and decide if you're "really" this or that. You'll be much happier if you try to keep from letting gender bullshit rule your life.

Reddit user sensicalsense (desisted female) explains their perspective on gender expression, advising to do what makes you happy regardless of labels, accepting bodily discomfort without medical intervention, and the importance of caution when considering transition.
6 pointsJul 26, 2020
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I'm not sure what advice you need per se. If you want to dress or act a certain way you shouldn't concern yourself with whether it's masculine or feminine you should just do it because it makes you happy. If you find predominantly masculine things make you happy and feel a desire to label it you can call yourself butch.

I don't like having breasts and they make me extremely uncomfortable but I work to accept them as a part of myself and my body that doesn't define me since I've decided that medical intervention isn't for me.

Living your life worrying that people are "right" about you is going to limit yourself and I recommend working to distance yourself from thoughts like that, though it's of course easier said than done.

As for regret, I'm not sure what you might or might not regret because I don't know what you're thinking of doing. Caution, consideration, and counseling are my go to recommendation if you're thinking about transition, either social or medical.

Reddit user sensicalsense (desisted female) explains her multi-year process of mentally detransitioning, including asking loved ones to use she/her pronouns, using grounding techniques for dysphoria, and finding greater happiness as a masculine lesbian.
4 pointsJul 31, 2020
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I started with the person closest to me (my then gf now wife) asking her to use she/her and use female gendered terms for me and it was very difficult for a while. I branched out to friends and then family once I decided it was definitely something I wanted to go through with.

It took a number of months for it not to be upsetting to hear she/her and even now a couple years later I feel like I notice pronouns more than other people/more than I did before I started questioning/transitioning.

When I feel particularly dysphoric I find things that ground me in my body are nice (going for a walk with the dogs, for example) or making something (I took up cross-stitch).

It's a process that's almost like deprogramming yourself but I'm much happier and more comfortable with myself as a masculine lesbian and my dysphoria has significantly reduced since I desisted.

Reddit user sensicalsense (desisted female) explains her reasons for desisting, including regret over social transition, fear of medical regret, a desire for pregnancy, and finding self-acceptance as an autistic, masculine female.
3 pointsJul 26, 2020
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I regret socially transitioning by changing my pronouns but that doesn't mean you will and even if you do it's definitely not the end of the world or the worst thing that's happened to me.

Regretting medical transition is obviously a different thing and that fear of regret was a very large reason for me not pursuing it while I was still socially transitioned. I have very severe anxiety and often regret permanent body alterations (tattoos, for example). I also decided that when my wife and I have children I'll want to carry some as well and breast feed them (though to be honest the idea is still awful to me, but I plan to at least try).

My reason for ultimately desisting completely had to do with my views on gender changing and deciding that transition wasn't the most helpful way to deal with my dysphoria. I don't consider myself a "cis woman" per se, I really just consider myself a masculine person who happens to be female. I've worked a lot on accepting myself as I am and allowing myself to present how I want without worrying what other people think. It's definitely an on going process.

Getting my autism diagnosis has been helpful for understanding myself as well.