This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is highly specific, emotionally consistent, and contains personal, nuanced introspection about their brief HRT experience, repressed femininity, and the confusion between gender non-conformity and being transgender. The language is passionate and personal, not scripted or repetitive, which aligns with a genuine desister's perspective.
About me
I started questioning things because I felt I couldn't be a feminine man. I got caught up in online communities that told me my love for feminine things meant I was a woman, and I started hormones. After three weeks, the bad side effects made me stop and think. A key moment in therapy was realizing I only ever saw myself as a man, just a more expressive one. I'm now a happy, gender non-conforming guy who is grateful I listened to my doubts in time.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I got really mixed up about what it meant to be a man. I liked a lot of things that are seen as feminine, like painting my nails or wearing skirts, but I felt like I wasn't allowed to do those things because I was a guy. That confusion led me down the online transgender rabbit hole, and for a while, I thought it was the answer.
I started to believe that because I wanted to express myself in a feminine way, it must mean I was actually a woman on the inside. I convinced myself I had always wanted to be a girl. Looking back, I see that wasn't true. I just wanted the freedom to be a feminine man without being judged for it. The online communities I was in were telling me that if wearing a dress felt good, that was proof I was trans. It felt affirming, so I believed them. I even started to feel a new sense of dysphoria about my body, which I now think was created by all this new pressure.
I got a prescription for hormones and was on them for about three weeks. I took 12.5mg of cypro and 2mg of estradiol. Pretty quickly, I started having bad mood swings and felt off. It made me stop and really think. I talked to my therapist about a big doubt I had: I still identified strongly with male characters in stories. She asked me to try and picture myself as a woman doing masculine things, and I just couldn't. I could only ever see myself as a man, just a more feminine one. That was the moment everything clicked.
I realized I wasn't a woman. I was just a dude who likes girly shit and had repressed that side of myself for most of my life. I got off the hormones after those three weeks. Thankfully, my body went back to normal pretty fast. My mood stabilized within a week, and my libido and erectile function returned to normal within a few days. I'm so incredibly grateful that I didn't stay on them long enough for any permanent changes to happen.
I now think my earlier sexual fantasies about being a woman were a form of autogynephilia (AGP), which was probably caused by repressing my desire to be feminine. It was an escapist fantasy, not a true identity. I don't believe my sex defines who I am. I have a male body, and I'm finally comfortable saying that I can do whatever I want with it. I can wear a skirt and have a beard. Fuck social pressure and fuck labels.
I don't regret exploring my identity, but I deeply regret how quickly I jumped into medical transition. I'm lucky I caught it in time. My only regret is that I got so influenced by online narratives and didn't listen to my own doubts sooner. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but about helping me dig deeper into why I was feeling the way I did.
Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
---|---|---|
26 | July 2021 | Started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) |
26 | July 2021 | Stopped HRT after 3 weeks |
26 | July - August 2021 | Underwent therapy and self-reflection, leading to the realization I am a gender non-conforming man |
Top Comments by /u/sfsporic:
Made it three weeks on HRT before realizing that I'm comfortable in my body and that I can do whatever the fuck I want. Your sex doesn't define you. You do you, gender roles and stereotypes are just easy ways to classify people. You don't have to conform to them.
I'm just a dude that likes nail polish and girly shit and repressed fully exploring that side of me for a while.
This is what I've come to as well. I got confused with gender roles/stereotypes, femininity and masculinity, and got sucked down the transgender narrative rabbit hole because it seemed to fit what I was feeling. Thought I always wanted to be a girl — nope, I wanted to express more typically feminine things.
After deeper digging and introspection, the gender-labels just add more confusion to the mix. I'm a dude that likes non-typical dude stuff. I'm just me. It might be better if we stopped focusing on gender and just focused on how you act corresponds to how you feel.
I was on HRT for three weeks before I realized I was making a mistake, thankfully no changes other than some mood swings. This happened at 26y/o.
For me after puberty hit was when I started having dreams and desires of being a woman. Sexual fantasies of being a woman. I think this was a combination of mild AGP and not being able to express my femininity — it wasn't a safe environment for me to paint nails or wear a skirt. Maybe it was the repression that caused the AGP to appear — who knows.
This is a great post and it's nice to hear this being talked about in a measured way. Also I don't think you sound like a narcissist.
This happened to me too. I felt so sure for months that this was what was right and what I wanted. Got off E three weeks in because I realized no, this is not right.
I wasn't trans, I was just gender non-conforming. I wanted to be a girl when I was younger because it would have been a safe way to do feminine things like paint my nails or wear skirts.
It was really fucking confusing realizing that, because all the trans communities were telling me to wear a dress and see how it feels, do your makeup and see how it feels, etc. All that felt affirming and so I really did think I was trans. I even started feeling dysphoria over my body, which was new because overall I felt comfortable in my skin. All the doubts I had were just 'internalized transphobia' according to the communities I was talking to.
What finally made everything click for me was telling my therapist about my concerns about still identifying with male characters. She told me to picture myself as a female doing those traditionally male things and I couldn't. I could picture myself as a more feminine presenting man, but not a woman. I thought I was able to picture myself as a woman, but I really couldn't.
I'm a dude that just likes to do feminine things and wasn't able to do that for a huge part of my life. Fuck labels, I have a dick and I'll wear a skirt and paint my nails. I can do whatever I want. I couldn't allow myself to do those things because it was 'wrong' for males to present in that way.
Fuck social pressure.
So yeah, I would drop the HRT and do a bit more thinking before it starts to take effect. I'm so fucking grateful that the E didn't have time to make any changes other than give me a few mood swings.
TL;DR thought I was trans, doing opposite gender things were affirming, got on hrt, realized that i'm just a dude that likes doing feminine things and had repressed a lot of that shit in my childhood.
I was on HRT for 2 and a half weeks, 12.5mg cypro and 2mg estrodiol. This probably won't be super relevant to your situation but it may help others so I'll post this anyways.
I started having less mood swings about two or three days off. Six days off and felt 100% back to normal. Energy levels back, calmer, etc.
Libido started returning around day 3, could get a full erection again day 4. Day 5 felt back to normal.
Erections (morning wood) returned day 4. I'm 26 and stopped getting random spontaneous erections in public at around 21?
Can't really speak on this, I got off pretty quickly when I realized I wasn't trans.
I have a few clothing items I'm still gonna wear because they're comfy and I like the outfits. Mostly some sweaters, skirts, and leggings/womens pants. I never really stopped wearing mens clothing.
Can't speak on this. I actually feel spiritually more connected to the world now that I've figured out what was going on with my emotions and dealing with repressed feelings.
Again, probably not super helpful for you OP but it may help someone else.