This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments show:
- A consistent, passionate ideological stance against rushed medical transition.
- A nuanced, human response to a suicide that doesn't fit a simple bot narrative.
- Engagement with others' posts in a supportive, advice-giving manner.
- A writing style with natural variation in tone and content.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary to escape the pressure of being a woman, thinking it would fix my depression and self-esteem. I took testosterone and had surgery, but my deeper feelings of emptiness never went away. It was only through therapy that focused on my past trauma that I realized I was trying to escape my real problems. I regret my transition, especially becoming infertile from a decision I made when I was unwell. I now understand that being female doesn't mean fitting a stereotype, and I'm learning to accept myself as the woman I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was complicated, and looking back, I see it was tangled up with a lot of other issues I was dealing with. I never felt like a "stereotypical girl" growing up. I hated my breasts when they developed during puberty; they felt foreign and wrong on my body, and I think that was a big part of my initial discomfort. I now see that a lot of my feelings were probably a mix of puberty discomfort and general body dysmorphia, rather than true gender dysphoria.
I started identifying as non-binary online and with friends. It felt like an escape from the pressure to be a certain kind of woman. I was deeply influenced by the communities I was in online, and it felt like the solution to my low self-esteem and depression. I thought if I could change how people saw me, I could fix how I felt inside. I was also struggling with my sexuality, and I wonder now if there was some internalised homophobia there, making it hard for me to accept myself.
I eventually started testosterone. At the time, I believed it was the only way to feel better. But I've come to believe that HRT is a serious step and should be a last resort, like amputating a limb before you've fully diagnosed the cause of the pain. I got top surgery, and while at first I was relieved, the feelings of emptiness and depression didn't go away. That's when I knew I had addressed the wrong problem.
I had a lot of therapy, but it wasn't the kind that just affirmed my gender identity. It was old-school therapy that scrutinized my history and mental health. That was what actually helped me. We dug into past trauma and my struggles with self-worth. I realized that my desire to transition was a form of escapism from dealing with those deeper issues. I don't think I would have gotten to that point with affirming-only care.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret not dealing with my underlying mental health first. I'm now infertile because of the hormones, and that is a permanent consequence of a decision I made when I wasn't in a healthy place. My thoughts on gender now are that it's largely a social construct. Biologically, I am female. Not fitting the stereotype of a woman doesn't change that fact; it just means I'm my own kind of woman. I wish I had understood that sooner.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty; began to hate my developing breasts. |
| 17 | Started identifying as non-binary, heavily influenced by online communities. |
| 19 | Started testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery. |
| 23 | Began non-affirming therapy that focused on underlying trauma and mental health. |
| 24 | Stopped testosterone and began to identify as female again. |
Top Comments by /u/shadowofashadow:
Even being in a biology class now and having to hear the word “vagina” or literally any form of the word hurts me
Have you ever had counselling or psychotherapy? This sounds like it goes beyond simple dysphoria. You should be able to manage hearing the word without it causing so much stress. It sounds like you have ptsd honestly
Her opinion was that she deals with transgender with old school practice, which is to scrutinize the history and the mental health of the individual above all before considering gender dysphoria and HRT.
The idea that hrt is anything other than a last resort really bothers me. It's like amputating a limb before diagnosing what is causing the pain.
Are dogs and cats binary? Are there trans cats? I feel like asking this sort of answers the questions. These concepts are social constructs, if you mean biological then it's clear there is a distinction between the sexes.
In the same way you ask why feel like any gender I ask why feel like no gender? You have a biological gender, if you don't feel like it psychologically that doesn't really change anything, you're just not a stereotypical girl.
Don't let it get to you. Everything these people don't like is Nazism, racism, hate, bigotry etc... they abuse language to make people feel self conscious about their opinions instead of actually discussing ideas and coming to solutions. Don't be like them.
It's true that if you had been more attentive he may not have taken his life but it's also true that your intervention could have driven him to making an even more rash decision.
The truth is you cannot blame yourself because you are only human and if he was intent on doing this there was very little you could actually do to prevent it . Deal with the feelings if guilt, don't suppress them, but realize that you were not responsible, you did the best you could have with what you knew.