This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments demonstrate:
- High emotional investment and personal experience with dysphoria, dissociation, and autism.
- Consistent, nuanced, and complex philosophical reasoning about sex, gender, and identity.
- A clear, evolving personal narrative that rejects medical transition while embracing a masculine identity as a female.
- Passionate, strong opinions that align with the known anger and frustration some desisters feel towards gender ideology and transition.
The language is highly personal, introspective, and lacks the repetition or simplicity of a bot. The account presents as a deeply thoughtful desister.
About me
I felt a deep discomfort with my female body from my earliest memories, which I believe is linked to being autistic. I thought becoming a man was the only way to be my true self, but I had a major realization that true strength was in accepting my body as female. I now see that I can be a masculine woman, my own category, without needing to medically transition. I didn't take hormones or have surgery, and I'm relieved I found this self-acceptance first. My dysphoria is still there, but I'm learning to live freely as the woman I am, on my own terms.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young, long before puberty. I had strong feelings of dysphoria from my earliest memories, and I want to be clear that this was not linked to any kind of childhood trauma or abuse. I was also told I was autistic as a kid, which I think is a significant part of my story. I spent so much time trying to analyze why I felt this way, trying to find a satisfying answer, but I’ve come to accept that I may never fully figure out the "why."
For a long time, I believed my feelings meant I was supposed to be a man. I felt a deep discomfort with my female body, especially with things like having breasts and the idea of being seen as someone who could become pregnant. That felt completely alien to me. I hated the stereotypes forced on women and felt I had to reject them utterly to feel free. I started to believe that transitioning was the only way to be my true self, to become the "inner man" I felt I was. I even joked that if I could, I'd be a "trans(cow)boy"—a rustic, masculine idea of myself that felt right in my mind.
But my thinking completely changed. I had a major realization that the manliest, strongest thing I could do was to logically accept my body for what it is: female. My body is organized to produce large gametes; that’s just a biological fact that no amount of surgery or hormones can change. I realized that trying to become a man was, in my view, the least masculine thing I could do. It felt like a weak obsession with how others saw me, a constant need for validation that I was performing masculinity correctly. I came to see that I’d rather be seen as a trailblazing, masculine woman than an unconvincing imitation of a man.
I now believe that men are simply male and women are simply female. Everything beyond that is social constructs. I craft my own narrative now, and it's built on accepting material reality, not on fantasies. I see that there can be females like me who have a very masculine internal identity but are not meant to transition. We are our own category, and there's a real strength in not letting society's expectations perturb you or trigger you into changing your body.
My goal now is to be a "sigma female"—independent, a loner, intellectual, enjoying my masculine hobbies, and refusing to perform or conform for anyone. I’ve found a way to accept the things I cannot change and focus greedily on seizing my own happiness in the life I have. I don't think surgical transition is a good path because of the risks involved, but I support everyone's right to present however they wish, whether that's binding, wearing neutral clothes, or presenting in a masculine way without medical intervention.
I have no regrets about exploring my gender, but I am deeply relieved that I came to these realizations before I medically transitioned. I didn't take hormones or have any surgery. I feel I came out of it before it took complete control of me. I don't regret the journey because it led me to a stronger, more honest place of self-acceptance.
Regarding sexuality, I have strong views on informed consent. I believe it is a form of sexual abuse to intentionally deceive someone about your sex, because for the vast majority of people, the sex of their partner is a material fact that informs their consent. Withholding that information is fraudulent.
I am now comfortable with the woman I am, even though I am different. My dysphoria is still there, but I have found ways to cope with the fact that I will never be an actual man. I focus on living my own life, free from anyone else's expectations.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Childhood | Strong feelings of gender dysphoria began. |
| Childhood | Diagnosed as autistic. |
| Pre-Puberty | Intense discomfort with female body and social stereotypes developed. |
| N/A | Explored identity as a man, believing in an "inner male" self. |
| N/A | Had the major realization that accepting my female body was the strongest path. |
| N/A | Rejected medical transition, embracing a masculine identity as a female. |
| Present | Living as a masculine woman, managing dysphoria through self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/shakespearetroll:
It is sexual abuse IMO to intentionally deceive someone about, and obfuscate, your sex, knowing that the vast majority of people are attracted to only one sex. It is withholding of material information to induce consent (i.e. it's fraudulent). The same reason you need to disclose if you have HIV, as that is usually a material detail that people need to know before being able to give INFORMED consent. I would be furious and potentially violent if I were fraudulently induced to a sexual act I wouldn't have otherwise consented to had I not been deceived about something so material to my sexuality as another's sex.
" And I will try to find ways to cope with the fact that I am never going to be an actual man, just a woman who looks like a man. And I will have to learn that some people do not want me to be part of their societies and that's okay"
I have strong dysphoria too since before childhood, but if you are able to simply accept the biological reality that your body is organized to produce large gametes, and no body modification changes that, you might consider non-surgical options instead. There's nothing wrong with binding and wearing "neutral" clothes, presenting androgynously, or even masculinely, without the lifelong validation-seeking burden that trying to "pass" entails.
I don't think transition is good because it carries risks, but I support people's rights to their own body to present however they wish, and if they decide they feel better with their changed bodies, who am I to say no?
This is some high-level introspection. Good on you.
Sorry you've been through such a rollercoaster so young. I also have disassociation (not multiple personality disorder as it used to be called), and was told I was autistic as a kid. Have had strong dysphoria since childhood, pre-puberty even from my youngest memories (and no childhood sex abuse, so it seems I was genuinely just like this). I've tried to analyze it 1000x, and got some answers, but ultimately, may never be satisfied with figuring out why/how this is how I (and some others) are.
I'm just relieved you can be honest with yourself and even ID some of the factors of this social contagion. TBH, I'd be more creeped out by a male insisting I treat him as a woman as he performs womanface/stereotypes, when my entire dysphoria as a female requires me to reject stereotypes vehemently to survive/live free of the trans and gender binary (note how you still only transition to your idea of a man or a woman, when the reality I so clearly know is that being a man or a woman is in the body, not the mind, and there's an infinite range of expression within each of those).
Praying for your healing, and that you can be comfortable with the male, man, you are, even if you're different. Don't be embarrassed or feel bad; you came out of it before it took control of you completely, and are here to share your story.
I realized that the manliest thing I could do is logically accept my body will always be clocked as female, and TBH, I'd rather be seen as a trailblazing woman than an unconvincing mimicry of a man.
Does my "masculinity" add up to a man's? No, because men are simply males. That's it. And women are simply females. Everything else is constructs and smoke and mirrors. I craft my own narrative, and it's not built on fantasies but accepting material reality.
I came to terms with my "inner man" (sometimes say I'd be a trans(cow)boy if I could--no idea why he's rustic but he is). I joke about it but know it has no basis in material reality; it just helps me contextualize my identity a bit. My body, just as yours, is organized to produce large gametes (I get friendly monthly reminders). It's petty to be so focused on looking or being seen as a man, trying to distort others' evolved perceptions to validate my "internal" identity. It's petty and small to be obsessed and crying about my genitals. It's not my aesthetic, and it comes off as weak anyway to me. so transition is the least masculine thing I could do IMO.
What if, what if, there are simply females who have "masculine" internal identities, that they are different from cis women, but they are not meant to "transition" into a faux man? There's something strong about not letting others perturb you or trigger you. My goal has been to always be a sigma female type. Independent, loner, intellectual, reading/philosophizing all the time, enjoying "masculine" hobbies, and refusing to perform or conform for anyone. Gosh darn it, if I'm a man under this all, I'll be the strongest one who can survive without transition. I'll defend and fight for all the cis women who have been taught to perform for the male gaze, who are pawns in the game of patriarchy; I'll fight for the gays whose same-sex rights are being diminished, and for all the truly gender dysphoric people who have been taught to reject their bodies to indulge their minds. There's life outside transition. There's an infinite world of self-expression that doesn't depend on you lying about your sex, which is simply an acknowledgement of how your body is organized. I never want to become pregnant, and the thought of being seen as a baby-maker is alien to me, but I've accepted my body has evolved to sustain life. Instead of falling into depression about the things I can't change, I focus on all the things I can do that aren't stereotypically feminine, and then unapologetically and greedily seize my happiness. We don't owe anyone our bodies, time, or even explanations, nor will be happiness ever depend on others' affirmation; I won't give them that control.
You can live your own life. It's scary, but time to, hate to say it, man up and seize the life you want, free from any others' expectations. Look up powerful women of the past for inspiration, the Joan of Arcs who went against all of society and even were burned for their faith, but did not back down.