This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user describes a detailed, emotionally complex, and consistent personal narrative of social transition and detransition over several years, including specific struggles with identity, therapy, and social reintegration. The writing shows natural variation in tone, self-reflection, and personal growth, which is not typical of bot behavior. The passion and criticism align with known experiences of detransitioners who feel harmed by their experience. No serious red flags for inauthenticity are present.
About me
I was a teenage tomboy who felt out of place and thought being trans was the answer after seeing a video online. My therapist immediately affirmed me and I rushed into a social and legal transition, ignoring my own doubts about wanting a future as a wife and mother. I finally realized I had mistaken trauma and discomfort with puberty for something else and decided to detransition at 19. I feel like I lost my entire late teens to this and now struggle with anxiety and hazy memories. I'm now focusing on my future and learning to love myself as the woman I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition feels like a strange dream now, or like I lost a big chunk of my life. It started when I was 15. I was a tomboy and was bullied a lot in school for not fitting in with the other girls. I had a hard time when puberty started; I felt really uncomfortable with my body and couldn't even look at myself for a couple of years. Around that time, I saw a video online about a transgender person whose story felt similar to mine, and I started thinking that maybe being trans was the answer to why I felt so out of place.
I begged my parents to let me see a therapist. The therapist I saw specialized in LGBT and trauma issues. Right from the start, she diagnosed me with gender dysphoria and encouraged me to socially transition. I took the expectations from the online trans community very seriously back then. It felt like there were steps I needed to take to be valid, like changing my name and presenting as male. I legally changed my name to a masculine one when I was 16. Looking back, I think the therapist had a bias. She never questioned my decision or explored other reasons for my feelings, like my history of bullying or my low self-esteem. Even when I started having doubts, she’d just say things like, "You can be a man and wear a dress to prom," which wasn't what I needed to hear.
During this time, I was in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend. My family later thought maybe he had pressured me into transitioning as a fetish, but that wasn't true—he actually hated that I was transitioning. The relationship was bad for me, and my low self-esteem from trying to be someone I wasn't made me stay in it longer than I should have.
I started to realize transitioning was wrong for me around age 17 or 18. I remember being in the lawyer's office for my name change and feeling a huge wave of hesitation, but I pushed it down. Prom was coming up, and I had always secretly wanted to get dressed up as a girl and go. I brought this up to my therapist, but she dismissed my doubts. I also began to seriously think about the future. I’ve always wanted to have my own biological children someday, and the reality of medical transition—taking testosterone forever, possible infertility, the surgeries—scared me. It felt like I was signing up for a life that was overcomplicating everything. I’m a straight woman; I like men. The idea of dating as a man, or being seen as a gay man, felt completely wrong. I wanted to be desired as a woman.
I tried to be "stealth" as a guy when I started college at 18, but it just made me miserable. I finally decided to detransition on my 19th birthday. It wasn't a quick switch; it was a process from April to August of that year. I started introducing myself as a woman again and slowly started wearing women's clothes. It was scary at first. I had to relearn how to shop in the women's section and feel comfortable in my own skin again.
Since detransitioning, I’ve struggled a lot. I feel like I lost my teenage years—my sweet 16, proms, and just being a normal girl from 16 to 18. Those years feel like a blur, like they happened to someone else. I’ve been told this is a trauma response, maybe a form of dissociation. My memories from that time are hazy and feel like I’m watching someone else’s life. It’s like I went to sleep at 15 and woke up at 20, having to suddenly be an adult. I have a lot of anxiety now and find it hard to socialize.
I’ve come to believe that I never really had gender dysphoria. I think I mistook my discomfort with puberty and my bullying trauma for it. I forced myself to adopt a hatred for my body to fit the trans narrative, which gave me body dysmorphia and crushed my self-esteem. Transitioning became a way to escape being me. I think real trans people exist, but there needs to be better, more thorough therapy to rule out other issues like trauma, OCD, or internalized misogyny before someone starts transitioning. I regret rushing into it and not listening to my gut feelings. I regret losing those important years. But I’m also trying to make peace with it. I’m focusing on loving myself as a woman now, and on my future—like one day being a bride. I don’t regret transitioning in the sense that it eventually led me back to myself, but the process was deeply traumatic.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 11-13 | ~2013-2015 | Started puberty, felt intense discomfort with my body and couldn't look at myself. |
| 15 | 2016 | Saw a video about a transgender person, related to it. Begged parents for therapy. Diagnosed with gender dysphoria and began social transition. |
| 16 | 2017 | Legally changed my name to a masculine one. |
| 17-18 | 2018-2019 | Started having serious doubts about transitioning. Wanted to wear a dress to prom and was concerned about future fertility. Therapist dismissed concerns. |
| 18 | 2019 | Went to college and tried to live "stealth" as a man for the first semester. Felt increasingly unhappy and disconnected. |
| 19 | 2019 | Officially decided to detransition. Started introducing myself as female again and began the process of changing my appearance back. |
| 20-21 | 2020-2021 | Continued to process the trauma from the transition period. Felt like I lost my teenage years and struggled with anxiety and a sense of lost identity. |
Top Comments by /u/simplylimenitis:
I absolutely agree. And really it's a failure of the mental health systems that are in place. Between mixing hormonal teenagers and teenagers who don't know what therapy is for, you end up with this. I blindly followed my therapists instructions like she was guiding me to heaven. Even when things got bad and I tried to be straightforward she continued convincing me to stay trans.
It's a lack of understanding how societal gender roles, traumas (of all kinds), hormones, and the internet mix in our heads. On top of that with LGBT becoming more widely accepted that means no longer ignoring the T option when handling these issues.
I took a really intro psychology class at a point in college. I am pretty sure the guidelines for gender dysphoria diagnosis is something like: Comes in suspecting gender issues, gender non-conforming/history of being gender non-conforming, voices being uncomfortable with physical sexual organs/body parts, suicidal, explicitly voices wanting to be another gender/sex, depression symptoms. And I bet you only need maybe 3-4 of these to be diagnosed. That's how a lot of diagnosing patients works. And all you have to do is say the words.
I'm AFAB but I found identifying as FTM to be that way. I had to give up everything I enjoyed, clothes I loved, dreams I wanted since I was a child. I definitely got burned out trying to be this dream guy. Sometimes I think it was my way of escaping past trauma from bullying to be someone else. Other times I think I did it because I was the "man" in my relationship with my ex-boyfriend.
Now I'm 2 years out from detransitioning and I feel like my memories from that time belonged to someone else.
I wonder if real actors feel this way. I heard stories of actors saying they would "lose themselves" in their characters
I only went back because I've been told I should return to therapy and I couldn't find any therapists who would take my insurance and could provide telehealth sessions in another state.
After this I'm considering just ending it and going back to therapy with someone else when I either have more money or better insurance
I really hate the backwards logic she used. Trans people are told they always were the gender they are transitioning to, so they are that gender. Mine just has 1 extra step which was a short transition to make but back to female, this always and is a woman. Why does she have to make it more difficult?
I completely get where you're coming from. As a GNC straight woman, I felt a pressure to change myself because of bullying. And I wasn't GNC as in "shaved head, can't tell what I am stuff". I was just a girl that wasn't comfortable in tank tops or short shorts. And I love video games. But I was awfully bullied and resonated with stories of trans people so I figured that was my cure.
I also believe that the focus on giving transgender people all the medical treatment they can get is wrong. The focus needs to be on finding an accurate way to diagnose, thorough diagnoses, and then if you are still trans then you can move on. It sucks for those involved but the more detrans (and critical detrans people due to trauma from transitioning) that show up saying this stuff is bad, the more we can fuel anti-transgender people and that is a problem. Just put more focus into the treatment we get in therapy and maybe we could minimize the amount of hurt for everyone involved with this mess. But then we get yelled at for discriminating a group of people when really it's just the way medicine works.
If it took my sister years to get on antidepressants, or my boyfriend years to get ADHD medication, hormones should also take a considerable amount of time
I hate to be that person that just calls this "sexist" but it is fascinating how having a male gender identity suddenly gives you the ability to control your body.
It's almost as if being a naturally born woman means you can't have the same treatment as men and transgender individuals get.
Natural born women have less control over their bodies than literal 12 year olds who can't handle going through puberty
I get where you're coming from. I love this community, the support, and the ability to help people who come here with questions and worries. I really love being able to maybe help someone figure out which path they want to take when it comes to their identity. I wish I had the same support when I was transitioning/questioning.
I also struggle with wanting to share my experience in other spaces (like AskReddit) when I see it come up but I often stop myself because I know there is a high chance of getting downvotes and negative responses. While it shouldn't matter, these things still affect my self esteem and I can't do that to myself. I even saw a comment the other day where someone had brought up it is possible for trans people to change their mind on transitioning and someone else was arguing that no one would go through the process of being trans willingly and then just stop. I really wanted to say something but it wasn't worth it to try to enlighten this one stranger even a little.
It sucks that this is the way it is for us. And I'm sure so many of us have other mental health issues that we need to prioritize over attempting to be heard. But I just know that as time goes on and more people are exploring their identity it will get easier for us to share our stories and experiences and bring some change to both the process of identifying as transgender and destigmatizing detransition.
Just remember when you think about how good it felt to share your story with the 5k people who upvoted you, so many more thousands still read what you wrote and just didn't upvote for whatever reason they decided. You still reached thousands of people and could have helped changed someone's path. It sucks it's not still up but an impact has been made. You've done much more than I have and possibly many of us on this sub. Be proud and look out for the next time you can do the same thing
I'm going to preface this with what the other comment said which was that there is no way to know who is or who isn't trans until you try it. It's a mental illness. It can likely come and go, it can have different degrees of severity, and everyone's issues with their bodies stem from so many different things. Take everything with a grain of salt and do some serious internal thinking about who you want to be in life.
- Not actively having debilitating dysphoria. I had likely had dysphoria at the beginning of puberty, but no longer felt the same way when I decided to transition. I did use those past feelings as fuel to start making myself think I really was trans
- Don't do it because people similar to you are. I knew two girls who I felt super comfortable with because they were just as much as a tomboy as me. They are both currently FTM and have had medically transitioned. I started my social transition around the same time they both also came out because I figured we were so alike that it made sense. I am now back to identifying as cis and they are still FTM
- If you are hesitant on medically transitioning, or even have any hesitation when your documents are getting legally changed, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. Being transgender really should be pushing for medical transition imo. If it doesn't feel like you need it to live, you probably don't need it or the label
- Don't change yourself to fit your new gender identity. I quit things I loved, I got rid of clothing and items I loved, I changed my favorite color because it didn't fit a man. I changed myself, and lost myself. Your gender identity is not your IDENTITY. If you are losing yourself to your gender, you are probably doing something that won't last. Acting is hard, don't act as someone else
- If you struggle to see yourself as the person everyone else sees you as, you might be doing something wrong. I would only lust after straight men. Gay sex did not interest me. I was not interested in it at all and was not interested in any gay men. I liked straight guys, I liked the idea of us having straight sex, and I only saw myself as a woman in those relationships. I did not understand that the men I was asking out saw me as another man and I couldn't cope with that. I wanted to be desired as a woman more than I wanted to exist as a man and didn't realize that was not possible in most cases as FTM pre-everything
I'm gonna try to keep this short.
We can't tell you that you will or will not regret transitioning. There is a reason why so many people are being misdiagnosed and it's because identifying someone who really could use transitioning is really hard right now. There is no clearcut answer. Some people who have regretted and detransitioned have been transitioning for more than 10 years. Others last 1. My point is, we cannot answer this for you.
I do feel that every person who decides to transition, especially with medically transitioning, is pretty much signing an invisible waiver that says you have to deal with the result of how you handle your transition. And that's true with every action you do in life. You have to accept consequences of your decisions.
My suggestion is to really research the effects of HRT. Really do some digging, more than a nights worth. Spend time reading what people write here, especially if their situation fits yours. Make sure you are aware of as many risks as you can. I know for FTM, testosterone can increase heart disease risks, so try to find out the risks you may have and also learn about your family medical history. Also remember that transitioning does not fix everything. It's not always magical. You have to still cope with the fact that transitioning does not make anyone a naturally born man or woman. You will risk losing natural male benefits (like possibly being infertile) and not be able to have the natural born female benefits like being able to be pregnant.
If you're still reading, this is a very difficult decision to make at 15. And it's still difficult at older ages too. I highly suggest taking time to really weigh your feelings, options, and risks. I do recommend seeing a therapist to help with your suicidal feelings. I don't know you but I want you to make a good decision and be able to stick around here long enough to do so. If your therapist is pushing HRT or surgery on to you don't just do it. Especially if you are nervous and afraid of regret. You should feel ready when you make a decision like that and a "doctor" urging you is NOT good.
Honestly that's a valid reason for not transitioning. Medical transition is not all butterflies and rainbows. It is expensive, hormones is life long, surgery is permanent and stops any chance you have at reproducing yourself. Yet if you don't do that and you're "cute" and "smol", are you even a man?
I had this issue and I think I developed a "complex" or something over it. I had trouble recognizing that I was an 18 year old adult in college and instead felt that I was a 12 year old in college. It was terrible.
To accept being biologically female, I did the following:
First was to acknowledge that medical transitioning was not realistic for me. It is not what I want. It can't make me a sexy guy. It makes me a gay guy because I like men and there's nothing I can do about that. It doesn't make me able to have kids or even sex the way I would want. And it won't give me a "boyhood" or anything.
Second, I learned to reject all the toxic ideas I had about feminity. One being that I was "not like other girls" yet all girls are the same. Losing that and other mentalities that separated me from my feminity helped with reclaiming it.
Now it's just a continuous process of reminding myself I am good enough, I'm beautiful, etc. It may sound a little conceited but really it's just finding my confidence. There's nothing wrong with loving and being confident as long as you aren't putting others down to do so.
She always needed to push her agenda on me. She never once questioned me when she was my therapist during my initial transition years ago. I've blamed her along with myself for what happened. I never liked blaming her because therapists aren't mind readers, she was encouraged by what I said to her, but I also think her advocacy and love for the LGBT community created a bias when helping and diagnosing me.
I guess I hoped maybe going to her with my changed outlook would maybe show me she really tried her best to help. It's clear that it won't. Out of all the things I probably need to hear, it wasn't that I once was a boy