This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally consistent, and contain nuanced personal details about their detransition (e.g., being on testosterone for 11 months, specific health issues, internalized homophobia, and a history of trauma). The passion and anger expressed are consistent with a genuine detransitioner or desister who feels harmed by their experience. The advice given is detailed and personalized, which is not typical of bot behavior.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started at puberty when I developed large breasts, which made me feel disconnected from my body. I thought transitioning to male was the answer, influenced by online communities and my own internalized homophobia as a lesbian. I was prescribed testosterone by a clinic that never explained the serious health risks, and the hormones made me very sick. I stopped after 11 months to save my health, even though I still struggle with chest dysphoria. I'm now learning to accept myself as a butch lesbian and regret ever harming my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. I was born female and for a long part of my life, I believed I was supposed to be male. I started feeling really uncomfortable around the time I hit puberty, when I was about 13. I developed large breasts, a DD cup size, and I hated them. I felt really insecure and it made me disconnect from my body. I now think a lot of my discomfort was just a normal part of puberty that got twisted into something bigger.
I identified as bisexual first, and then I realized I was a lesbian. But I had a lot of internalized homophobia. I felt alienated from other girls and found it easier to connect with boys. I thought my preference for male clothes and hobbies meant my "brain was male." I also had some childhood trauma and I struggled with dissociation, which I think played a big part in why I didn't feel right in my own skin.
When I was 13, I started socially transitioning to male. It felt like a solution at the time. The online world and the popularity of transgenderism really influenced me. I saw it everywhere and it seemed like the answer to all my problems. I thought if I became a man, all my insecurities would go away. I especially liked the idea of being the "Hot Guy" that gets the girls, which was a fantasy I had.
When I turned 17, I was prescribed testosterone. The clinic I went to was terrible. My appointment was less than ten minutes. They never showed me my blood test results, and I don't even think there was a real doctor there, just med students. They told me about the changes I wanted, like body hair and a deeper voice, but they told me nothing about the serious health risks. I was on testosterone injections for 11 months.
The hormones caused me a lot of serious health complications. My body was being poisoned by these synthetic hormones. I started having health issues I never had before. It was damaging me from the inside. I also bound my chest for about four years, which probably didn't help my health either.
After 11 months, I quit testosterone and began to detransition about three months later. I don't regret stopping. Even though I was sometimes comfortable with the physical changes, like my deeper voice, my soul couldn't heal if my body was dying. Detransitioning has been hard, and there are still times I wish I was just born male, but I know it was the right choice for my health.
I still have a lot of dysphoria, especially about my chest. I'm considering a breast reduction or even a double mastectomy because my breasts still cause me a lot of distress. But detransitioning has helped me in other ways. I'm starting to accept myself for who I truly am: a butch lesbian. I'm trying to figure out why I feel dysphoric instead of just punishing myself for it. I no longer worry if my hobbies are too masculine or feminine; I just do what brings me joy.
I think if I had seen more positive examples of butch lesbians who were comfortable in their own skin when I was younger, I never would have transitioned. My dysphoria came from growing up in a society that has very strict ideas about what women should be, and my own internalized homophobia. I don't think the treatment for hating your healthy body is to change the body. I believe the problem is in the mind.
I don't regret detransitioning at all. I'm happier now than I was when I was living as a trans man. I just regret that I ever went down that path and hurt my body in the process.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started feeling severe discomfort with puberty and my developing breasts (DD cup). |
| 13 | Realized I was a lesbian after first identifying as bisexual. |
| 13 | Began social transition to male. |
| 17 | Was prescribed and began taking testosterone injections. |
| 17 | Stopped testosterone after 11 months due to serious health complications. |
| 18 | Began my detransition back to female. |
Top Comments by /u/sirmooseking:
I had a less than 10 minute session before receiving a coupon to buy Testosterone Cypionate at the Wal-Mart pharmacy. The Gender Health Clinic drew my blood, but I never saw the results of the tests, that they probably never ended up doing. There was not a single licensed doctor in the clinic either, to my knowledge -- only med students. They read me the side-effects of testosterone, all of which I knew and was exactly why I wanted the drug in the first place (body hair growth, fat redistribution, enlarged larynx, etc.), but absolutely nothing about the health risks.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is in your best interest, not in the best interest of the trans community. Synthetic cross-sex hormones have so many "unknown" side effects that could easily put someone's life at risk. Disregarding the dangers of hormones, if you regret taking them, you'll most likely need to have surgery or wear a binder (MtF), or laser hair removal if excess hair triggers your dysphoria (FtM). Especially if you're young, I highly advise against permanently altering your body before figuring out what the underlying cause of your dysphoria truly is. If you have trauma or any mental illnesses at all, evaluate how that could be affecting your perception of yourself.
I'm FtMtF, but I prefer they/them pronouns and am considering having a double mastectomy or a breast reduction eventually, and I was on testosterone (injections) for about 11 months and have many health issues because of it.
Whatever you do, stay safe.
Detransitioning is helping me accept who I am, in all aspects of myself: my sexuality, interests, hobbies, etc. I no longer worry if what I do is too feminine or too masculine, and instead worry about if what I'm doing will bring me joy. By beginning to accept myself for who I truly am, I feel like I finally began growing up. I still have immense dysphoria, but I'm much happier than when I was trans; I don't regret detransitioning one bit.
I know how you feel. I was a transmale for 5-6 years and was placed on testosterone for about 11 months, and quit taking it about 3 months ago. I started on my birthday when I was 17 and am honestly quite comfortable with the physical changes and wish the changes were more prominent, but I have so many health issues from it, along with binding for about 4 years. I also struggle with disocciation from childhood trauma and initially felt insecure about my breasts because I was 13 with size DD. As I said, I'm fine with the physical changes of testosterone, but I'm having a difficult time accepting what I did to myself and accepting that I was wrong about everything for almost half of my life. Therapy encouraged my transition and CPS even threatened to try my dad for child neglect when he was wary of having his child be injected with synthetic hormones that weren't even supposed to be in my body, so I can't blame myself. You shouldn't either.
If you want to talk or just vent to me, I'm always here. Seems we're pretty much in the same boat, so we might as well paddle together.
What "pain" are you talking about?
If you feel distress from your healthy body, then it is the brain that is sick. Where is the logic in putting children on synthetic hormones with the risk of damaging their healthy bodies, all because they don't like it? Is anorexia treated by insisting the patient meets their goal weight? No? Then why is the treatment for gender dysphoria insisting that the mental illness is correct and the body is what's wrong?
Instead of punishing yourself for feeling the way you do, try to analyze why you feel that way. I'm a detrans female and still plan on having a breast reduction or even a double mastectomy because of how dysphoric my chest still makes me feel, but coming to terms with why I feel dysphoric in the first place has helped reduce my dysphoria over time. Life is awful sometimes, but there are so many wonderful aspects to it that aren't worth missing out on, I promise you.
If you ever need to vent or talk to someone, I'll be happy to give you advice or simply listen. Just know that you're not alone in this💜
If gender is a performance, then how sensible is it to damage a healthy body in order to more accurately perform society's expectations of what charade you wish to play? Do you genuinely not see how insane of a concept that is: that we must alter healthy bodies to fit into society's molds of what we should be?
It was all because I tag my posts that share my experience with having been a trans kid with #protecttranskids and #protecttransyouth. I was even told by someone that sharing my experience on these tags is more harmful than what was done to me by so-called medical professionals. So asburd.
Whatever you do, please don't harm yourself in any way. If the synthetic hormones are damaging your health, don't take them.
I know it sounds meaningless, but try taking better care of yourself, especially now that you have the time to. Take a nice bath with nice smelling soaps, shave your body, put on lotion, spray on some perfume if you have any, snuggle up somewhere cozy and focus on a movie or show, and grab a tasty snack. Take a few hours out of your day to freshen up and relax.
I was poisoning my body with artificial hormones
Then try to learn to live without these things, even if it's terrible at first. Your body won't feel like a home if you mistreat it. The exterior may look pretty, but if the interior is decaying, it will never feel like home.
I will admit, detransitioning feels awful at times and there's still so many moments where I wish I was simply born male, but my soul will never heal if the vessel it resides in is dying from synthetic hormones.
Heal your soul. If you're unable to relax and focus on something other than detransition/transition, then try to analyze why you feel the need to transition.
This subreddit is always here for you, and a lot of us are in the same boat as you. Don't give up💗
I honestly wish transgenderism wasn't such a huge thing. If I had never found out about it, I would have been much more comfortable being the butch dyke I always was. I thought transitioning would solve all my insecurities like every trans person said/says it will, but my gender dysphoria stemmed from growing up in a heteronormative society as a butch-presenting lesbian.