This story is from the comments by /u/skeezix21585 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Suspicious Account
Based on the provided comments, the account "skeezix21585" exhibits several serious red flags that strongly suggest it is not an authentic account of a real detransitioner.
Red Flags:
Extreme and Repetitive Narrative: The comments are highly repetitive, recycling the same specific, extreme, and medically dubious claims across dozens of posts over a year (e.g., testosterone being a Schedule III drug like heroin, causing immediate mania/psychosis, being more addictive for women, "curing" gender dysphoria with a specific antipsychotic). This mimics bot-like or copy-paste behavior rather than the organic variation of a real person's storytelling.
Inconsistent and Implausible Medical/Scientific Claims: The user makes numerous claims that are factually incorrect or grossly exaggerated (e.g., testosterone is classified the same as heroin and cocaine; vocal cords can change pitch drastically in days based on hormone gel application; all FTMs are manic). This suggests a scripted agenda rather than lived experience.
Ideological Agenda Over Personal Experience: The narrative is overwhelmingly focused on promoting a specific ideological viewpoint (that being transgender is a delusional mental illness curable only by antipsychotics and adherence to conservative religion) rather than sharing a nuanced, personal journey. The personal details often feel like vehicles for the ideology.
Provision of Personal Contact Information: The user publicly posts their email address ([email protected]) in an early comment, which is highly unusual and risky behavior for someone sharing such sensitive personal history, and is a common tactic for spam or phishing accounts.
"Perfect Victim" Archetype: The story presents an archetype of the "perfect victim" for an anti-transition narrative: someone who had "the most severe dysphoria," transitioned perfectly ("looked like a cis man"), experienced catastrophic physical and mental harm, and was "saved" by religion and antipsychotics. This lacks the complexity and contradictions typical of genuine human experience.
Conclusion:
While detransitioners understandably express anger and passion, the combination of repetitive, scripted content, scientifically inaccurate claims, a primary focus on ideology, and the provision of personal contact information are significant red flags. The account's behavior is more consistent with an inauthentic account, potentially a bot or a persona created to push a specific agenda, than with the authentic comments of a real detransitioner.
About me
I started testosterone at 22, believing it was the answer to my deep unhappiness, and I lived as a man for over a decade. The hormones induced severe mania and psychosis, and I became addicted to the high they gave me, which destroyed my mental health and left me isolated. My faith community helped me see I needed to find sanity, and I began to detransition in my mid-30s with the help of antipsychotic medication. I am now 38 and living as a woman again, finally at peace with the dysphoria gone, but I am left with permanent physical damage. I deeply regret transitioning, as I believe it was a trap that exacerbated my mental illness and cost me over a decade of my life.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and difficult, and it’s rooted in a deep unhappiness that started when I was very young. From the age of three, I felt I was supposed to be a boy. This feeling, what I now understand as dysphoria, was severe and constant. I also had other mental health struggles, including being autistic, which made social interactions confusing, and I suffered from depression and low self-esteem. I was also diagnosed with a formal thought disorder later on.
When I was 22, I started taking testosterone. I was told it would help my depression, but I wasn't told it was a controlled substance, as serious as drugs like heroin or cocaine, or that it could be addictive. For a long time, about 13 or 14 years, I lived as a man. I was on a high daily dose of gel. At first, it felt like a honeymoon phase. Testosterone gave me a euphoric, manic energy. I grew a thick, curly beard down to my chest, my voice dropped to a bass, and I built a lot of muscle. I had top surgery (a double mastectomy) when I was 26, and a year later, at 27, I had a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy, removing my womb and ovaries. I thought this was the answer. I wanted to be a man so badly—to father children, to be seen as strong, to have that male confidence.
But over time, the testosterone started to cause serious problems. It induced mania and, eventually, psychosis. I learned from studies that testosterone causes mania in the female brain, and I experienced this firsthand. I became addicted to the high it gave me. My mind changed; I started thinking more visually like a man, my sex drive became overwhelming, and I felt like I was two people at once—a straight woman and a straight man trapped together. I also experienced what I believe is called autoandrophilia; I was attracted to myself as a man. Yet, underneath it all, I always felt like an imposter. I knew I would never truly be a man who could father a child.
My mental health deteriorated badly. I tried to stop testosterone cold turkey several times, and each time I went into a withdrawal-induced psychotic break and was involunt hospitalized. It was terrifying and embarrassing. The mental instability, coupled with the physical changes, made it impossible for me to keep a job. As a man, I was expected to work, but no one would hire me. I lost friends and found myself completely alone.
A major turning point was my faith. I was raised Catholic and had always felt a calling to be a nun. But when I was living as a man, the Church saw me as mentally ill. I was barred from my own parish until I "reversed" my transition. I applied to many religious orders, but they all rejected me because of my history with transition, citing Canon law that prohibits the mentally ill from religious life. This was devastating. I eventually became Greek Orthodox, but even there, I faced similar barriers. My religious friends, however, especially some monks and priests, were incredibly supportive. They watched me struggle on testosterone and were overjoyed when I finally decided to stop. They helped me see that I needed to find sanity and wholeness.
Around my mid-30s, I started to detransition. The key was finding the right antipsychotic medication, Risperdal. It took away the delusions that I was a man. I switched from testosterone to estrogen, which I have to take for life because of my surgeries. The process was slow. I had to change my name back legally, which was a fight that took almost two years. I grew my hair out. My voice, which doctors said would never change, gradually rose from a bass back up to a mezzo-soprano, especially after I started an antidepressant, Effexor, which had the side effect of heightening my voice. My body hair lightened and thinned out significantly, though I still have to shave dark facial stubble every day.
The physical damage, however, is permanent. I am sterile. I have osteoporosis from the testosterone and the early menopause caused by my surgeries. My teeth were ruined and I need dentures. My facial bone structure changed, giving me a rugged jaw and forehead, and my shoulders widened. I look like a middle-aged woman now, but to some people, I look like a man trying to be a woman. I miss the confidence and the friends I had when I was living as a man, but I don’t miss the constant mania and feeling of being an imposter.
I deeply regret transitioning. I believe gender dysphoria is a severe mental illness, and that cross-sex hormones and surgeries are malpractice. They exacerbated my pre-existing conditions and created new, permanent health problems. I lost over a decade of my life. My social role is destroyed; I’m unemployed, and I have almost no one in my life except my dad and my mental health team. My memory is not what it used to be.
I am now 38, and I’ve been living as a woman again for about three or four years. I am finally at peace. The dysphoria is gone. I feel like myself again, just older and wiser, but carrying the scars of my journey. My thoughts on gender are simple: we cannot change our sex. Trying to do so only causes immense harm. I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy and antipsychotic medication, which addressed the root delusions instead of affirming them. If I could give any advice, it would be to seek real psychological help before ever considering transition. It’s not a solution; it’s a trap.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on the ages I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 3 | First remember feeling I was supposed to be a boy. |
| 22 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 26 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 27 | Had full hysterectomy and oophorectomy. |
| 28-30 | First attempt to detransition; did not feel I passed as female, so I retransitioned. |
| Mid-30s | Began final detransition process, started antipsychotics (Risperdal) and estrogen. |
| 35-38 | Legally changed name back, voice gradually returned, physical changes from estrogen. |
| 38 (Now) | Living as a woman again; stable on medication, but with permanent physical damage. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/skeezix21585:
Yes, simply put it is a mental illness, and, so is, the added illness of being aroused by themselves appearing in the mirror as the opposite gender if they have that too, autogynephilia in men and autoandrophilia in women. I had both dysphoria and autoandrophilia and they both left me with antipsychotic medication that removes delusions from the mind; after that, I had no more delusions of being a man.
I transitioned at 22, began T at 22, had double mastectomy at 26, then total hysterectomy and oophorectomy at 27, started detransing around 28 to 30, didnt pass after a couple years, so I retransed, started detransing again around mid 30s, and now Im 38, fully established in being a woman again, who passes pretty well, but who has to shave everyday. And my voice even went back up.
I think some may ask you if youre sure, but, theyll deep down be relieved and will not tell you I told you so. I transitioned much older so instead of telling my school i was telling my church and family and friends, and anybody with sense was relieved i stopped testo as that exacerbated my mental illness and made me act bizarrely. Everybody with sense was relieved and if they were pro trans they just walked away. No one said I told you so. And without testo in my body, i had less irritability, and i appreciated knowing that they actually did care, and i also went on antipsychotics that helped with my dysphoric delusions that i was a man and the sensible ppl supported that move too. I could discern who was good which was all except a couple bad pro trans ppl who walked away. And if they did that's their prerogative. Like Dr Seuss once said, "Those who mind dont matter, and those who matter wont mind". Just remember that as youre doing the right thing. What others do and whether or not theyre sensible is their problem. Just appreciate everyone you have on your side which will be most of society and the few who will fall away love them enough to let them go if they want to, as sad as itll be to part ways. You have and will have, lots of ppl loving and supporting you, especially at your age. Theres no time like the present to do the right thing and reverse. Good luck and peace and love to you. Just remember Dr Seuss;).
Firstly, they are a she not a "he". And, they too will likely detrans one day and itll be easier at that point if they nvr had the surgery. And u said theyre having misgivings so just do the obviously right thing. Tell them the truth about your detransition.
Dont worry. Theyll be happy you came to your senses and are growing up. They may think of you as indecisive until youve been established in your birth gender for awhile. It's not good to always be running and moving. Facing the music and settling down is much more mature and rewarding. Most ppl deep down are not supportive of trans identities so theyll be happy to hear of your misgivings as well.
Just remember the quote from Dr Seuss: "Those who mind dont matter, and those who matter wont mind". Hope that helps your perspective. Most ppl will be relieved youre doing the right thing and transppl were probably only your friend due to you being trans, so, if theyre insensitive maybe they dont matter and you should let them walk away.
I went in the other direction and on testo I was a buff burly man with receding hairline etc. And deep voice which drs said wouldnt reverse but it kinda did a little. Three yrs ago I started taking estrogen and now I look like a believable woman of middle age who looks like a proper age progression of her former self. So like they said hormones took you thru to where youre at...they can take you back to out thru the opposite side of the journey. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I had autoandrophilia like you probably have AGP. It's just the opposite. I was in love with my image and appearance as a man. I still think the man I lived as was hot in one photo where I have the longest beard. Anyway, i do still have a shadow i have to shave and a kinda deep voice so i look a bit like a transwoman, and my flat chest, but, it's obvious I am a woman or trying to be. It is much easier to look like a man after looking like a woman not the other way around. So I look like an older version of the pre T me but I do look slightly manly. Youre going in the opposite direction. Dont sweat it. I think first, you should cut your hair. Thatll cut down on the AGP as you wont look so feminine anymore and if you do still look feminine at all, you could pass for a lady with short hair and you can phase out wearing makeup if that fuels your agp urges to look at yourself.
As I switched from testo to psych meds, the testo I'd occasionally take if I still felt addicted, bc testo is an addiction, and even moreso it is in women,( see the ncbi studies on testo inducing mania in women and women being more susceptible to stimulant addiction, and rats doing anything to get testo while they too become addicted), it began to make me feel mentally and kinda physically sick in a strange way, and I could tell it was making me manic as it always had done, but I had never noticed until the effects of taking it were fighting inside me with the effects of the mental drugs. And testo nvr cured dysphoria but made it worse, making me feel like an imposter. So, I successfully switched off of testo and onto the psych drugs after weaning off the testo as the psych drugs made it not interact well with them, making me feel sick. I broke the addiction to testo after being on it for 13 insane years, and switched to psych drugs, that soon after, made me feel not only sane but female. Only then, I had to take the psych drugs with estrogen and shave regularly and grow my hair for a few more yrs before I'd actually Look and Sound female again. Too bad I didn't find psych drugs before testo, bc testo would have made me feel sick from the get-go, and I nvr would have gotten addicted, but, I learned a lot in having to be patient to look female again and in having to break an addiction. I learned a lot in how society doesn't care and in how Dr's lie and to beware. Seeing these studies were eye opening, shining light on what I was experiencing at the time, and on what every other woman on testo was going thru, the mania etc, it's No Coincidence All FTMs, struggle with mania. For awhile I looked to some of society, to ppl whom I met new after taking testo,(I was nvr fooling ppl who knew me before, who just thought I was the old me in a beard, they could recognize me and weren't fooled they said, even ppl who hadn't seen me since many yrs prior to my SRS, I just looked like that person aged, but who happened to then have a beard, etc), I looked a lot like a man trying to be a woman to the new ppl, but being patient and growing my hair along with taking estrogen with the psych drugs etc was definitely worth it. I've come out the other side. It also helped my sanity, and augmented the effect of my psych meds, to go back to my old name legally and to be using it all the time. It was cathartic. I was as male as a transman can be, more male than I've seen any other FTM, and now I'm really a woman again. The woman I always was, just older, and with the experience of passing as a man for over 13yrs. The ppl who were new to my life as I passed as a man, can't help but recognize me the other way, and from the outside looking in, it feels to them like I'm a man becoming a woman. But ppl who knew me in my youth or who are new to me Now will thankfully always see me the right way. I saw a young woman in the mirror, then a young and then middle aged man, then a middle aged woman. I missed a lot of my youth. It's weird to age this way. To look like one's brother in the mirror, and then suddenly to one day look like one's mother in the mirror.
I was on T for 14 yrs with huge beard and brow and deep voice and mine actually went back up and i pass for female again. If we can do it anyone can. U are right. Glad youre doing well and adjusting to being a gnc female again. Over the 3 yrs Ive been on estrogen ive been both gender conforming and non conforming so it is possible to pass either way. It's all in the length of your hair and type of clothes.
Transitioning causes more problems than it solves. Always. From mental ones to physical ones to social ones. Just keep reading everyone's posts. Especially if youre looking to be ftm look at how addicting t is before u jump off the deep end. And even if you think youll look better or pass better as the other gender, youre wrong because every now and again no matter how well you pass to most ppl, many will be able to pick you out. Plus no one including you can know how youd look on hormones. Remember that. I didnt even look like my family anymore. And many ppl told me i didnt look good on T yet I thought I was hot on t. Young women liked me but older women thought i looked odd and didnt trust me. Depended on who i asked. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder really. Maybe ur just a tomboy that might look better with longer hair but u dont wana be patient to grow it? Lots of us know what thats like. Now that Ive reversed I do look like family. Ive gone back to looking like an age progression of my younger self. Cross sex hormones make ppl look and communicate in very unique ways. I was on testo for 14 yrs and passed so much I was stealth, but it made me communicate funny and not many ppl wanted to hang with me. Hormones are drugs and they affect the mind. They should not be underestimated. They really are fire and if u play with matches u get burned. It also took me many years to look my age which is dysphoria in its own way and can lead to problems like with showing ur ID etc. And it damaged my bones etc. Luckily estrogen has repaired that. But yeah if you want emotional, physical and social problems then go for it. Youre just caught by a bug where youve told urself if u take hormones u can control ur destiny regarding ur looks and play God well just so u know that's nvr going to work. Being obsessed with looks has traditionally been thought of as a female thing but I guess that can go either way. If ur looking to be in charge of ur destiny go to school for a good job do not ruin your life with cross-sex hormones. Does this make sense to you? I know youre craving to chart your own destiny but there are other ways to do it. Join a dance club or church or book study group or like I said study some really awesome subject that only you like and can teach to others, get a pet. There are so many things u can put ur energy on where u can be in control other than taking cross sex hormones which to be honest at the end of the day will not leave u in control at all. U might have emotional breakdowns, do things ud nvr dream of doing without the hormones etc say things u wouldnt say, lose ur health, be caught looking not ur age, lose all of ur friends, i mean really...And, if u havent even taken hormones and ur already having misgivings, isnt that your answer? Sounds like u dont have the stubbornness to take the hormones every day for the rest of your life. If you know ur going to detrans before u trans i wouldnt trans. To me thats common sense. Anyway, if you dont like your looks give it 10 years then youll be someone vastly different in looks and in mind bc we all grow as we age. Really, just be patient. Things over time usually improve if we set our mind to it. But u cant expect hormones to do it for u. If ur wanting to control ur destiny revolves around looks try make up and gym memberships. I know that takes more effort but believe me itll be more fulfilling in the end. Maybe u can watch youtube videos of disabled ppl doing really awesome feats. If they can do it and conquer life so can u.