This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The comments show:
- A consistent, multi-year personal narrative with specific, plausible details (e.g., timeline of transition/detransition, marriage, brain injury, autism diagnosis).
- Emotional depth and introspection that aligns with the stated experiences of trauma, confusion, and eventual self-discovery.
- Varied and natural language use, including nuanced advice, personal reflections, and supportive messages that don't follow a repetitive script.
The account's passion and critical stance are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister who is sharing hard-won personal insights.
About me
I was born female, and my gender confusion started because I never fit in with other girls, which I now understand was largely due to my autism and a lack of feminine influence at home. After a traumatic assault and a brain injury, I thought transitioning to male would make me safer and help me belong, so I socially identified as a man for about nine months. That time was filled with anxiety and felt like a constant performance, leading me to detransition in 2017. Meeting my now-husband right after was a turning point; he helped me feel validated and connected to my femininity for the first time. Now I'm a happy, married woman, and I've learned that my journey was really about untangling trauma and autism, not about changing my gender.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was confusing and, looking back, I think it was driven by a lot of things that weren't really about being a man. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in with other girls. My mom is a good person, but she wasn't into typical feminine things like shopping or makeup. I didn't have sisters, so I never had that strong feminine influence around me, and I think that left me feeling confused about where I belonged.
A lot of my struggle came from being autistic. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was trying to keep up with what neurotypical women were like and I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was failing at being a woman because I didn't understand the social rules or have the same interests. I thought that if I transitioned to male, that pressure would go away and I would finally fit in somewhere.
There was also a lot of trauma involved. Right before I started wanting to transition, I was almost raped in a public place. It was a terrifying experience that made me feel incredibly unsafe in my own body. I think on some level, I believed that becoming a man would make me safer and stronger, that I could escape that vulnerability. I also suffered a moderate brain injury from a car accident around the same time, and I only realized years later that it probably really affected my judgment and led me to make some poor decisions.
My actual transition was pretty short, only about nine months. I identified as a trans man, but I never took hormones or had any surgeries. It was a social transition. It was a rollercoaster of emotions and I had a ton of anxiety the entire time. I felt like I was constantly performing.
I decided to detransition in 2017. It was a scary decision because I had built this new identity and was worried about what people would think. A lot of my friends in LGBT circles didn't understand or support my decision to go back to living as a woman, which was really hard. I'm so thankful for my best friend, who is trans, because she loved and accepted me before, during, and after all of it.
Meeting my now-husband less than two months after I decided to detransition was a huge turning point. He was willing to come to therapy sessions with me and helped me feel validated in my choice. Being with him, a man, made me feel feminine in a way I never had before. I discovered that I only really feel that feminine connection in my relationships with men; on my own or with other women, I feel very neutral. It turns out my issues were never about gender, they were about autism and trauma.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret not understanding my autism and my trauma first. I think if I had worked through those things with a non-affirming therapist—someone who helped me ask why I felt the way I did instead of just affirming my new identity—I might not have transitioned at all. It took me years to feel confident in my own decisions again after all of that.
Now, I'm a detransitioned female, married to a man, and I've built a life I'm happy with. I focused on my career, which helped a lot. I still feel uncomfortable in LGBT spaces, which is sad, but I've found my peace. My main thought on gender now is that it's deeply personal, but it's so important to untangle it from other issues like mental health, neurodivergence, and trauma before making any permanent changes. I'm grateful for where I ended up, but the path to get here was much harder than it needed to be.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 21 | 2016 | Was almost raped and suffered a car accident brain injury. |
| 21 | 2016 | Began social transition to male (FTM) shortly after traumatic events. |
| 22 | 2017 | Detransitioned after approximately 9 months of identifying as trans. |
| 22 | 2017 | Met my future husband two months after detransitioning. |
| 26 | 2021 | Reflecting on the experience 5 years after detransition. |
| 28 | 2023 | Now a married, detransitioned female, understanding autism was a primary factor. |
Top Comments by /u/skinnyguac:
I detransitioned in 2017 and it took me YEARS to feel confident in my decisions, even small ones, again. I did focus a lot on my career during the thick of it and it definitely helped to improve a completely unrelated aspect of my life. It takes so much courage to be who you are but especially in this group, you’ll have the rest of your life waiting for you!
I met my now husband less than 2 months after de transitioning (though I only transitioned for about 9 months overall) it was a roller coaster and I had A TON of anxiety but he was willing to join me at therapy sessions and whatnot at a relatively early stage and it helped me validate my decision to de trans
Feel this so much as an autistic female. Wanted to transition when I did because I was struggling to keep up with some norms/expectations around neurotypical women. Idc at the end of the day what anyone wants to do with their gender identity, but I do think fewer autists (especially women) would transition if they were more accepted
Yup, I’m an autistic woman and experienced A LOT of the exact things you did when I was growing up. I realized I just didn’t fit in/feel the same as an NT woman. Please don’t commit to anything gender related right now, try out a neurodiverse affirming therapist if you can and see if you can connect with ND peers. You might be able to pass as a bit more NT/mask less identifying as male on some levels but it will not fix any struggles autistics face, unfortunately. Keep in mind that the brain doesn’t fully mature until your mid 20s, so if nothing else wait to commit to any kind of gender change until then. Work on your education & career first. Maybe see if a psychologist in your school now or any school you go to later on can screen you for the autism, and if that’s a thing use that to find you suitable accommodations and therapies as your adult life begins? You can have a fluid relationship w a condition like that over the years, but not with gender if it gets to advanced medical or legal changes.
You are young and have SO many possibilities out there, remember that ❤️
If it’s at all possible, can you take a short trip or even outing to a place where no one is familiar to you, and see how you feel presenting as a male there? If it feels right without others’ opinions in the picture, then it’s the path for you. FTMTF but felt exactly this same way coming down from my transition; wish you the best in your search for answers 💖
If it gives you hope, I met my now husband 2 months after I called off legalizing my transition!
Yeah I can kind of feel this. I feel like I only truly feel feminine in what I do with men. I was the literal best housewife to my ex husband, am nurturing af to other males in my life now but on my own or amongst other women am as neutral as rush come. I did transition and later regret it in part of how poorly I felt I fit in w NT women, but it turned out to be all autism 🙃
With adulthood you’ll have SO many opportunities to make the life you want for yourself. I’m 26 and commend your courage to make such a great realization for yourself. Know that there are so many people who will be privileged to meet the young woman you are!
Absolutely 1000% a thing. I started wanting to transition 1 month after being almost raped in a public place in a major city. I would highly highly recommend working through those experiences with whichever help you can find before you make any more decisions with that transition if you can. Sorry you had to go through those things, it doesn’t determine your worth and neither does whichever identity fits you best ❤️
I would say if there are any other present mental or even physical health problems that haven’t been resolved. I was rear ended and got a moderate brain injury a few months before I transitioned and only realize how much that might have led me to make poor decisions all these years out (5 years detrans here)
5 years detrans female and to this day I still feel uncomfortable in lgbt spaces/events; the fact that I’m married to a man definitely helps. I’m SO thankful my best friend who happens to be trans always loved & accepted me before and after I did all this (& not like who you’re referring to) but most of my more lgbt dominated circles did not. I would say focus on friendships in a domain completely different - work, hobby etc and see if the friends you’re referring to are willing to keep up. Don’t abandon your cis friends if they make you happy! Best of luck whatever you decide ❤️