This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Nuanced, empathetic, and personalized responses that are inconsistent with bot-generated content.
- Consistent, passionate ideology focused on medical accountability and critique of gender ideology, which aligns with common detransitioner/desister perspectives.
- A clear, evolving point of view that engages with different facets of the debate, including offering a "TERF" perspective while identifying as male.
- Natural language with idiomatic expressions, personal asides, and a conversational tone.
About me
I was born female and my journey into transition was driven by trauma and a deep fear of male violence, which made me believe becoming male was my only escape. I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts, thinking it would make me safer. I now see this was a form of escapism from my underlying mental health struggles and the pressures I felt in online communities. I have detransitioned and am living again as a woman, but I am left with permanent physical changes, including infertility. My focus now is on healing from my past trauma and finding self-acceptance without changing my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender was complicated, and looking back, I see how many different things were tangled up in it. I was born female, and for a long time, I believed that transitioning was the answer to my deep unhappiness. I ended up taking testosterone and had top surgery. Now, I’ve detransitioned and I see things very differently.
A lot of my desire to transition came from a place of trauma and fear. I had a real, legitimate fear of being victimized by men again. The idea of being seen as female felt inherently dangerous. I thought that by becoming male, I could escape that vulnerability. I wanted to get away from it all. I now see that transitioning was a form of escapism for me, a way to try and run from my past and from the realities of being a woman in this world. I hated my breasts because they marked me as female, as a potential target. I thought if I got rid of them, I’d be safer.
I also struggled with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I didn’t feel like I was enough, just as I was. The online communities I was in at the time were overwhelmingly supportive of transition as the only solution for anyone who was uncomfortable with gender roles or their body. There was a strong social pressure there; it felt a bit like a contagion, where everyone was encouraging each other to take medical steps. It was hard to find space to ask the real, hard questions, like, "Is this truly right for me, or am I trying to fix a different problem?"
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I now believe that sex is real and that I am, and always was, a woman. My life is the life of a woman, no matter how I choose to live it. I think the idea of "gender identity" can be a trap that stops us from challenging the stereotypes and expectations that cause so much pain in the first place. I believe in radical self-acceptance: you are a human being first, and you get to define your own life without needing to change your body to fit an idea.
I have significant regrets about my transition. The physical changes from testosterone are permanent, and the surgery I had can't be undone. I am now infertile, which is a serious and lasting consequence. I feel a sense of anger and grief about the medical establishment that allowed this to happen without what I now see as adequate exploration of my underlying trauma and mental health issues. I believe there was a degree of medical malpractice in my case. I think it's important to hold doctors accountable, even through lawsuits if necessary, to force them to acknowledge the people for whom transition does not work out. This isn't about getting money; it's about making sure the full reality is known so that others might be spared the same pain.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty and my developing body. This was tied to past trauma and a fear of male violence. |
| Early 20s | Became deeply involved in online trans communities. Felt social pressure and began to believe I was non-binary, then a trans man. |
| 23 | Started taking testosterone. I believed it was the right path after years of thinking about it, but my reasoning was focused on escaping being seen as female. |
| 25 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). I hated my breasts and saw their removal as a way to become safer and more comfortable. |
| 28 | Began to detransition. I realized my struggles were rooted in trauma, internalized misogyny, and a desire to escape, not in being truly trans. I stopped testosterone. |
| Present (30) | Living as a detransitioned female. Dealing with the permanent effects, including infertility. I am focused on healing from the trauma that started this journey and on accepting myself as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/sloppycoder1:
My heart goes out to you. I want to say a big fat BOLLOCKS to all the people on this thread that came at this with a "ooooh its ok you can still get a boyfriend!!" angle. You can, but that´s not the point.
You can get away with literally anything, you can date anyone you feel a spark with. Even that doesn´t matter, you are HUMAN and you are alive. You have just come through a period of rapid learning and it has been intense and a little costly. Maybe this is the journey you had to take to find yourself? A bit like when you decide to toss a coin for something and when it comes down heads you suddenly so strongly know it should have come down tails that your feelings are revealed to you?
You are a woman so whatever life you lead will be that of a woman. There are no rules worth following here and your life is yours to define and no-one elses. The only thing you truly need is joy. Speak the truth to the people you love, love yourself, there is no wrong way.
Good luck
I believe this is the post OP is after?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvhSTIyLKfY
(I´ve not watch this yet but will do later! I´m familiar with Charlie Evans from the UK, she does excellent work)
I think you will find kinder ears outside of the trans / NB / queer community for all sorts of quite disturbing reasons to do with the cult like nature of some of these beliefs.
The social, peer pressure and dare i say it.... social contagion element of this whole thing will take a very very long time to come out in the wash, and until it does this will just keep on happening. I think the best thing you can do is look into class action lawsuits against the medical establishment for their role in this. Any other way of forcing doctors to be accountable for the failures is also good. I´m not saying all the responsibility lies there necessarily, but the professionals are obliged to take in all the real data they can, including the "failures" for whom transition did not work out, and make decisions based on that reality. There are avenues by which you can force them to know you, to acknowledge you, and to go forward with that knowledge in a more appropriate fashion.
*Edit* - just wanted to add, if you do this please don´t accept compensation that comes with a gag order :-( Seems like that has happened plenty of times already! There is no reason you should shut up and no correct $$ price for your silence. You deserve their money and your voice!!
Ok I'm gonna step in and provide a "gender critical" aka terf response to this although full disclosure: I'm male.
I'm so completely mystified by why you think this would be provocative or a problem? It seems to me like the people who supposedly are the "terfs" and the people who fear the "terfs" have almost totally different understandings of the term....
Let's dig in a bit:
I'm a GNC born male...
And the terfs say high five!! We're all about the gender non conformity. RadFems live and breath to end gender and thus end all associations, coercions and roles related to gender. It's a very very deeply held version of "you do you". It differs from queer theory in acknowledging sex is real and has some real consequence. Did you know this?
"...transfeminine enby and after 4 years of contemplation I believe hormone treatment to be the right path for me."
... right? So I dunno what you mean by transfeminine, being feminine and male is a way to be GNC that rad fems fully support? One of the tasks that falls on my plate as a GC guy is to persuade my brothers to accept and appreciate their fellow man however they choose to present and however they relate (or avoid relating) to masculinity.
You are choosing to take hormones after 4 years thought. Ok. I've got no problem with that if you're at least 18, and if your thinking has genuinely covered the full range between "This is the wrong thing" and "This is the right thing". If you've had therapy has your therapist been free you explore options including maybe you are/ aren't trans? Has the current social order prevented one of those questions being asked? Have you asked that question of yourself?
And I do so because I absolutely hate having a masculine muscle and fat distribution. I want to look as androgynous as possible, perhaps slightly feminine like a tomboi or soft butch appearance if possible.
These are bad reasons. Why is your muscle and fat distribution considered "masculine"? What would you actually gain from changing it? You are interacting with a corrupting system of norms in terms of what bodies/ shapes and clothing is coded to which sex. You don't need drugs to fight that system. Why are hormones the better choice than self acceptance?
I wish I could dress masc without instantly being treated like a cis guy.
Here you reveal a preoccupation with how others see you and treat you. To quote my favorite poet and rapper:
"All he ever wanted to be was good enough,
all he ever wanted to do was the done thing,
But as long as you live for the way you're perceived you'll never create only buy things,
All he ever wanted to be was good enough,
All he ever wanted to make was the grade,
But as long as you live for other people's opinions you'll never be more than afraid."
What do you think of this? In the end how others see us is out of our control. Worrying about it is a path to doom. What you can control is how you react to others and the extent to which you allow their opinions you shape your life. The "terfs" would say hold your own, don't let others define you.
technically I'm non-binary
Sorry but this is laughable. Nobody is "technically" non-binary, it's an undefined state with no barriers to entry whatsoever. There is no "technically" about it. Sounds like technically you are male, dislike certain norms/ asthetics and expectations associated with maleness and have a difficult relationship with your own body and self image..?
Interested to hear what you think and sending love.
Well, two things. There is a long and interesting tradition of women "passing" as men in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons without any hormonal or surgical intervention. The after effects of your T usage and surgery can only help...
But.. thing two. It sounds like fear of being victimized again as female is a big driving force making you want to do this? Are there any avenues open to you to help on that angle? This could be taking up self defence, getting strong, finding a job/ area to live where you feel safe.... and it could also be any kind of counselling or talk therapy dealing with your fears and past events. Btw you are not wrong to fear assault from men, men are dangerous, but it's possible you are allowing that legit danger to have an unnecessarily strong effect on your life.
I just wanted to chip in here to say this: I´m also a lefty / socialist and lover of the NHS and i recognize exactly what you´re saying re not wanting to defund them any further by suing...
...however! *rolls up sleeves*..... something has to give here, if you aren´t given a channel to complain that is adequate to the level of harm you have suffered then sue the pants off them! You have my blessing at least. The point isn´t to get you a load of cash, but to get a trial happening where it has to be admitted that the handling of your case was medical malpractice. Until that is happening the protocols and ideas that caused this will go unchallenged.
Now that is potentially an enormous burden to bear, i want to suggest that your responsibility to do something about this is only as big as your power to act, and that power comes from your health and vitality. So put you first, heal, find yourself, be ok. Then do what you can....
Sending love.