This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "sluttydemon666" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a three-year period. They describe deeply personal and specific medical (chronic UTIs, endometriosis), physical (breast changes, body hair), and psychological (internalized misogyny, sexual trauma, BPD) experiences that align with known detransitioner narratives. The language is natural, with personal reflections, typos, and a conversational tone that is difficult to fake. The account expresses a nuanced, critical, but not universally hostile perspective common in the /r/detrans community.
About me
I started transitioning because I was sexualized for my female body as a young teen and felt pressured to escape being a woman. I took testosterone for years, but it made me very sick and caused serious health problems that doctors couldn't solve. I stopped when I realized I was terrified of losing my breasts and the sensitivity I'd come to appreciate. Now, I've found a peace I never had before, enjoying my femininity and feeling more attractive in my own skin. I've accepted my female body and am in a much better place, with a partner who loves me as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young. I developed early; by the time I was 11 or 12, I had a DD cup and curves. I was compared to the Birth of Venus painting, but that didn't feel like a compliment. It felt awful. Boys my age, and even older men, sexualised me constantly. They only saw me as a pair of breasts, and at an age where I didn't even have a libido yet, it was dehumanising and traumatic. I also felt like as a girl, my personality and interests were always being criticised. Traits that were seen as funny in boys made me annoying as a girl. I hated the pressure.
Around the same time, from about 13, I was exposed to a lot of gay male porn and erotica online. I think this really skewed my sexual development. Looking back, I believe a lot of my feelings that manifested as being trans were rooted in that premature exposure. I had a fantasy of being in a gay male relationship, which felt somehow better or safer than being a submissive woman in a straight relationship.
I started identifying as non-binary first, and then as a trans man. I was desperate to start testosterone from ages 17 to 22. I hated my breasts and wanted them gone. I thought top surgery was the answer. Testosterone did shrink my breasts a lot and made them saggy, which I initially wanted. But being on T was really hard on my body. I have endometriosis, and T gave me chronic, reoccurring UTIs. At one point, it got so bad I had a fever for five days and almost went into septic shock because the infection was so severe. Neither my endocrinologist nor my gynecologist knew what to do; they had no experience with these side effects in someone like me. I felt like a lab rat. T also gave me horrible back acne and I started noticing hair loss.
The big turning point for me was when I started seriously considering top surgery. As it became a real possibility, I was hit with massive doubts. I realised I was terrified of losing sensitivity in my breasts. I had this thought that I hadn't had enough experiences with a partner who would appreciate my breasts during sex, and I didn't want to lose that part of myself. I also always had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, a constant "what if?" What if I never transitioned? What if I'm faking it? I even had a feminising or misgendering kink before I stopped T, which confused me more.
I decided to stop testosterone because I realised the changes were becoming more permanent. I thought, I can always go back on T later if I want, but I can't take it back if I continue. Stopping was scary because coming out and transitioning socially had been so alienating, and I didn't want to go through that again. But I'm in a much different mindset now and care a lot less about what people think.
Since detransitioning, I've felt a sense of peace I never had while transitioning. I never felt "gender euphoria" as a man, but I sometimes feel it now as I rediscover my feminine self. I enjoy getting my nails done, wearing skirts and dresses, and heels. I feel sexier and more attractive now than I ever did on testosterone. I’ve started to let go of the hyperfixation on gay male relationships and media, and I explore what genuinely interests me. I also have a partner now who I got together with at the start of my detransition. He loves me as I am and encourages me to explore femininity.
I don't really consider myself a woman, but I've accepted that this is the female body I have, and the world will see me as female. In private, with friends, I'm still non-binary and don't hide my deeper voice or more masculine personality traits. I just don't make it a public thing anymore. I think gender is kind of dumb, but we have to live in the world as it is.
I have regrets, of course. I regret the damage testosterone did to my body—my voice is deeper, I have body hair, and my breasts are smaller and saggy now. I'm hopeful that my breasts will continue to regain some of their original size. But overall, I'm really happy I held back and didn't get top surgery when I was in a bad space. My transition might have even started during a mild psychotic episode. I benefited from taking psychedelics, which helped me listen to my instincts, and from leaving social media, which was incredibly freeing. Detransitioning helped me face my sexual trauma more clearly and improved my quality of life. It’s not a magic cure, but life is definitely better now. Less fear, less living in an echo chamber.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
11-12 years old | Early puberty, developed DD cup breasts. Experienced intense sexualisation and trauma from peers. |
13 years old | Began consuming gay male porn/erotica online, which skewed my sexual development. |
17-22 years old | Identified as non-binary, then as a trans man. Was desperate to start testosterone. |
Around 22 years old | Started testosterone. |
Second year on T | Began experiencing severe, chronic UTIs linked to testosterone. |
Third year on T | A UTI became so severe it led to a septic infection and hospitalisation. |
Around 24-25 years old | Started having serious doubts about top surgery, fearing loss of breast sensitivity. Realised I enjoyed my breasts as an erogenous zone. |
25 years old | Stopped testosterone after nearly 3 years of use. Began social detransition. |
25-26 years old (Present) | Rediscovering femininity, feeling "gender euphoria" for the first time. Body slowly recovering from testosterone effects. In a supportive relationship. |
Top Comments by /u/sluttydemon666:
have you considered getting a breast reduction surgery instead? so that You're basically flat chested with a sports bra on? if ypu build enough pec muscles you'd also look pretty much flat if ypu have small enough breasts... as for pros? no undeboob sweat lol.. and no need for bras i suppose
absolutely!! i often see people around here who had their top surgery too describe feelings and use resources for females who got double mastectomy for breast cancer related reasons. it’s.. no body is bad. no chest full or flat is shameful or not worthy of love and artistic depiction.. this is more so about my frustration with how top surgery is so often very idealised and “advertised” in trans spaces if that makes sense
hmu in dms if you want to talk :) . realising i didn't want to go through with top surgery because i didn't wanna lose sensitivity in my chest and felt like i didn't get enough opportunities to have a partner who would play with my breasts during sex before losing them was what triggered my detransition.
but i still don't consider myself a woman even though that's the body i have and am learning to embrace. on one hand I've been struggling with self image still but i have to say i have never felt as sexy and attractive as i do now when i was on testosterone and male presenting which i honestly didn't think would be possible.. i always had this feeling at the back of my mind like "what if i never came out/transitioned and what if I'm faking it".. dunno gender and sex is weird and internalised misogyny and gender roles can really make you feel under pressure to be change yourself..
another reason why i stopped t was realising that the longer I'm on it the less reversible the changes become and i can always go back on it if but i won't be able to take it back if i continue
at the very least you can always have the surgery later but you won't be able to go back once it's done. just because you're not sure or fully ready doesn't mean you immediately have to be a woman now. just means you're listening to yourself. waiting and thinking it through more is safer than sorry when it comes to a big surgery like this 💗 and keep in mind many trans spaces online have been known to delete posts where people talk about not being satisfied with their top surgery results because it gives negative image. you are your own person. it's your life. what anyone else has to say about it is not important... and i really do hope you find comfort and peace with yourself in any shape that may come, for what it's worth :)
story similar to mine. there’s hope and you are young. people will respect you for your self reflection and honesty. my breasts have started to visibly grow and feel more like before these past few months and i am so happy. despite having regrets especially over my voice and body hair i have never been happier with my body now after being off t for over a year and a half now.
every post like this just makes me more and more hopeless when i imagine how much leftist push for hrt for people under 18. “otherwise they’re gonna commit s*icide and be miserable”, with no regard to reality and how damaging it is for kids who haven’t had the chance to even sexually develop or understand that it’s most likely layers of trauma
people who block you because you need time to think about an irreversible surgery that is as severe as mastectomy aren’t your friends. glad you postopned. there’s nothing wrong with your body and femininity and enjoying having breasts ❤️ wish you lots of luck and strength
as my top surgery for mastectomy became more of a real possibility i started to feel doubts and eventually came to the conclusion id rather put everything off including t, and come back to it if i want to. all of my doubts were triggered and spiralled after realising i was too afraid of losing sensitivity in my breasts. when transitioning my head was always filled with “what if”s and “could i ever imagine living as a woman again?”
since detransitioning i have felt what i was hoping “gender euphoria” would feel like. and i’m very glad i decided to not have the surgery. id say if cutting of such an intimate part of your body brings up fear and doubts, at least it will be good to postopne. you can’t reverse it and it has potential for a lot of complications and pain for a long time post surgery. don’t traumatise yourself sexually more than you already have.
i in general started to let go of a lot of media and media related hyperfixations as i detransitioned. but in general i now seek out stuff that intrigues me and not just whatever place has the most accurate representation or gay twinks (that i admittedly used to obsess over as probably a lot of detrans women relate to).. i feel like my tastes stayed in some areas and changed a lot in others however. :)
i used to date my best friend when i was 19 and both of us were transitioning (ftm). now, after detransitioning, with more sexual maturity and intimate experiences with cis men, i can say with certainty that the disconnect i felt was because he was not a cis man. it’s pheromones and biology i can’t change. and no matter how passing my friend is, he isn’t attractive to me as a potential partner because he isn’t a cis man.
i was a very pretty girl. had great curves and big tits by 12. i was compared to the birth of venus painting because of my face, hair and curves (except had bigger boobs).. still transitioned. big reason why, besides unhealthy and premature exposure to gay erotica, was actually because i was sexualised and made very aware of how attractive my body was as early as 11. guys made it very clear they only saw me as a pair of tits at an age where i didn't even feel libido. it was dehumanizing and traumatic. that and in general girls never being allowed to have a personality without being criticized was what made me want to be a guy.