This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative with specific, emotionally resonant details about starting testosterone at 14-15, detransitioning, and the ongoing physical and emotional challenges. The user expresses complex, sometimes contradictory emotions (hope, despair, self-blame, confidence) that are consistent with a genuine human experience, especially one dealing with trauma and regret. The account also shows a natural evolution of perspective over time.
About me
I started questioning my gender at 14 after my friend came out, but I now see I was a naive kid in a bad mental place who was deeply influenced. My journey was really a trauma response from an assault, and I latched onto becoming male to escape the pain of being female. I started testosterone at 14, but it just made me feel numb and disgusted by the physical changes. I realized it was all wrong a year later and stopped, but I'm left with some permanent reminders. At 16, I'm learning to love myself as a woman again, but it's a daily struggle.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a really difficult time in my life, and it all happened so fast. I started questioning my gender when I was around 14. A big part of it was that my best friend came out as trans, and that’s what made me start thinking about it myself. Looking back, I think I was a naive kid who was already in a bad place mentally, and I got influenced by what was happening around me.
I was really struggling with my mental health and had a lot of anxiety. I noticed that whenever I was in a bad mental space, I would spiral into questioning my gender. It was like a cycle. I also went through a sexual assault, and I think that trauma was a huge reason I started to hate my body and being feminine. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think my brain latched onto the idea of being a guy as a way to escape from that pain and self-hatred. I just wanted to get away from being a woman because it felt dangerous and hurtful.
Because I hated my female self so much, I desperately wanted to start testosterone. I was so sure it was the answer. I ended up in a mental hospital because I was suicidal over not being able to start hormones. My parents were scared for me and just wanted to keep me alive, so they eventually supported me. I started hormones just three months before I turned 15.
Once I was on testosterone, things didn’t get better. I started to feel numb emotionally. I didn’t get angry, but I just felt a lot of nothing when I was upset. The physical changes began to really disgust me. I hated the chest hair, the shoulder hair, my deep voice, and even the way I smelled. It didn’t make me love myself; it made me hate myself even more.
About a year after starting testosterone, something just clicked in my brain. It was like a switch flicked, and I knew it was all wrong. I ignored that feeling for a few months because I was scared, but I finally told my mom. I sobbed and told her how much I thought I’d messed up my life. She was incredibly supportive and told me she loved me no matter what. My parents were happy to have their daughter back.
Since stopping testosterone, a lot of the changes have gotten better. My voice has softened and gotten higher; I almost sound like I did before, though I’ve lost some of my high range. I stopped smelling bad. The bottom growth reduced, and my body hair doesn’t grow as thick or fast anymore. I still have dark body hair and some facial hair I have to shave or pluck, which is a constant reminder and something I’m really self-conscious about. Testosterone also hurt my uterus, and I had to go on birth control to fix the problems it caused so I could have a normal period again.
I don’t regret exploring my identity because I needed to figure it out, but I deeply regret medically transitioning. I regret legally changing my name and sex. I’m only 16 now, and I have to live with these permanent changes. I’m trying to learn to love myself again as a woman, but it’s hard. I’m more confident now than I was, and I’m hopeful for my future, but it’s a daily struggle.
I don’t think I was ever truly transgender. For me, it was a trauma response and a way to escape my own self-hatred and the misogyny I experienced. I’m just trying to move forward now.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started questioning my gender after my best friend came out as trans. Struggled with severe anxiety and mental health. |
| 14 | Experienced sexual assault, which led to hating my body and being feminine. |
| Beginning of 14 | Was hospitalized for being suicidal over wanting to start testosterone. |
| 14 years, 9 months | Started testosterone. |
| 15 | Realized I was not transgender. A "switch flicked" in my brain telling me it was wrong. |
| 15 | Officially detransitioned, stopped testosterone after being on it for almost a year. |
| 15-16 | Physical changes from testosterone began to slowly reverse. Voice softened, body hair growth reduced. |
| 16 | Currently learning to accept myself as a female again and dealing with the permanent changes. |
Top Comments by /u/smallandfrail:
Because I realized I'm not transgender. Trauma (sexual assault) and misogyny from men caused me to hate myself as a woman and so subconsciously I my brain made me think I was a trans guy to help with trauma but only made things worse for me. Making me disgusted by the effects of testosterone. The chest hair, the shoulder hair, the deep voice, the smell, everything. Just made me hate myself more and now I'm learning to love myself again. I am mad at myself for legally changing my name and sex and I now have a deeper voice and I'm only 15 but I am confident in myself and hope I will have a good future.
Maybe try looking at some mtf voice training videos. That's what I have done and I've seen some women who have totally changed their deep voices into quite feminine voices with voice training. It gave me hope, so maybe try looking at them and that will give you hope too?
I didn't knowingly transition knowing that I was doing it to escape trauma, but the beginning of this year I finally analyzed it and realized that's why. I don't still have fear, at least I don't think, I mean, I have basic womanly fears like "I'm scared to be kidnapped walking down the street" or "I have a higher chance of being raped." Being sexually assaulted kind of just made me hate my body and being feminine.
It's worse in person. Hair everywhere. I know I'm only almost 2 months off T but I'm scared it'll never go away. I've gotten so many mixed messages of what will and won't happen after being off due to just genetics. I'm worried I'll be the unlucky individual to be cursed with body hair for life until I spend thousands of dollars to get it removed. I know I'm going to end up doing that with my face because I know that facial hair doesn't go away but I am really hoping I dont have to do the same to my arms, legs, chest, stomach, butt, lower back, etc. So much money... I feel content with my body except for the hair. I already have to deal with sh scars all over my body, but if I have to deal with large amounts of hair, I'm going to end it all. I want to be positive and hopeful, but I'm struggling.
I had to upload to youtube because reddit wasn't letting me upload my video. Please be as honest as possible. I want the harsh truth rather than a lie. My family and friends say I sound female but I feel it feels more rewarding for a stranger to tell you sound female, especially on the internet, because they have no connections to you and could easily be honest or rude without worrying to make me upset.
I started hormones 3 months before I turned 15. My gender therapist and doctor thought I was trans enough to start hormones. My family supports me, took them a year to accept me for being trans so they looked at it a lot. I was sent the the mental hospital beginning of 2019 because I was going to kill myself because I wanted to start hormones so bad because i hated my body and female self so much. My parents did all that they could to try to keep me alive. They just want the best for me.
yes, my voice has changed a lot. i was thinking of posting a video on it. my voice has gotten so much softer and higher and i didn’t even do voice training. i almost sound the same as i did before i transitioned but i definitely don’t have the high range i used to have.
I came to my mom the morning before school. the previous night I had come to the conclusion that I wasnt transgender after battling with it for months. I sobbed into her arms telling her how scared I was and how much I'd fucked up after being on T for almost a year. she told me it was going to he okay and that she loved me either way. both my parents were happy. they would've loved me either way but they were happy that they could have their daughter back and that I could live an easier life.
I actually never got angry I dont think with testosterone and maybe just a little rise in libido. I think the only thing emotionally that I noticed was just being numb when I was upset or not caring as much. It was a bad feeling, just numb a lot of the time.
You can take birth control and that sometimes stops periods. I'm not the best on this because I never have had normal periods even before I took testosterone (which I haven't had one in over a year) but I took birth control and I think it helped reduce them (even though I'd only have a period every 3-6 months anyway) but what I remember was it brought nausea and feeling weird, but that doesn't apply to every birth control.