This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed narratives about their own detransition (e.g., stopping T due to polycythemia, having top surgery at 16, voice changes over 8 years).
- Internal consistency in their story and perspective across many months of comments.
- Emotional complexity that includes anger, regret, self-reflection, and encouragement for others, which aligns with the stated passion and pain of the detrans community.
- Interactive engagement where they offer tailored advice, share personal anecdotes relevant to others' posts, and admit to personal struggles like anxiety.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a genuine individual sharing their lived experience.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I felt like a bad, ugly woman and hated being sexualized, thinking being a man would be easier. I had top surgery and took testosterone for years, which caused a serious health condition that forced me to stop. I eventually realized I wasn't a man, just a woman who didn't fit a feminine stereotype, and I secretly liked the changes when my body reverted. I've since detransitioned and changed my name back, and I'm finally feeling more genuine while figuring out my own comfort with femininity. My biggest regret is the permanent changes to my body, but I'm learning to move forward and find happiness from within.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable when I hit puberty. I developed large breasts early and it made me feel gross, both from a sensory perspective with how my clothes fit and because of how people, especially adult men, started looking at me. I felt sexualized from the age of twelve, and I hated it. I was also deeply depressed and had very low self-esteem. I was overweight and felt like I was a bad, ugly woman. It seemed like being a woman required so much work—being in shape, preening, caring about your looks—and I was too depressed to have the energy for any of it. I thought it would be simpler to be a man because it felt more socially acceptable to be a fat, unkempt man than a woman. Transitioning felt like a way to give up and disappear, to blend into the background and not be noticed.
When I was 16, I had top surgery. At the time, people expressed a lot of concern that I was causing permanent damage by binding my breasts, and that gave me a distorted belief that they were already ruined, so it was better to just get rid of them. I wish I had fought against that thinking. Maybe with more therapy, or even just a breast reduction, things could have been different. Around the same time, I started taking testosterone. I knew a trans guy who detransitioned and warned me to think harder about what I was doing, but I didn't listen. I was stubborn and set on my path.
I lived as a man for years, but it never felt completely right. There was always something "off" about me. I realized I wasn't as masculine as I thought; I was just someone who didn't perform femininity well. Trying to live as a man made it painfully clear that I was lacking in masculinity. I felt like a mismatched jumble of traits that confused everyone, and I developed a fear of leaving my apartment. I’d come home from simple errands and cry.
The turning point was a medical issue. When I was 25, my lab work showed I had developed polycythemia from the testosterone, putting me at high risk for a stroke or heart attack. My doctor took me off T immediately. Years later, a different trans-affirming doctor scoffed at that and said polycythemia was "normal" for trans men and I could have just donated blood. That experience taught me that nobody is looking out for your health but yourself.
After stopping testosterone, my body slowly started to revert. As time passed, I secretly found that I liked the changes. My female hormones came back, and I realized I had no desire to ever take T again. I reached a crossroads where I had to acknowledge I didn't pass as a man anymore. I could either live in an odd non-binary zone, which just felt like how other people saw me—a question mark—or I could change paths. Making the leap to detransition was terrifying socially, but it was the best decision I ever made.
Since detransitioning, I feel more genuine. I’m closer than ever with my family. I legally changed my name back to my birth name, and it feels comfortable. I’m still figuring out what level of femininity I’m comfortable with. I’m attracted to men and want to attract them, but I also want to be true to myself, and I’m very much a tomboy. I worry about finding a man when I can’t consistently perform femininity, but I’m working on decoupling gender from what I think I’m supposed to be like.
I’ve come to see that a lot of my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and a desire to rebel against the pressures and expectations placed on women. I’ve learned that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I also think my mood heavily influenced my feelings about gender; when I was depressed and angry, I felt more "masculine," and when I was happy and content, I felt more "feminine." It wasn't that my gender identity was changing, but my moods were fluctuating.
I don’t believe medicalization is the only way to handle gender dysphoria. Tinkering with your hormones can cause serious, understudied health problems. I’m now facing issues like being on the verge of osteoporosis at 30. I think true happiness has to come from a holistic approach, addressing the mind and emotions, because we need a healthy body to have a healthy mind.
I do have regrets. I regret not listening to the warning I got when I was 16. I regret the permanent changes to my body, especially my chest. I feel self-conscious about it now, assuming people are noticing, even though I’m always read as female. I regret the years I spent complicating my life and making myself a social pariah. But I also don’t see the point in beating myself up forever. It’s like taking a wrong turn on a road; you take the next exit and get back on track. The goal is to move on and live my life without this weighing on my heart and mind anymore.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty, hated breast development and being sexualized. |
| 16 | Had top surgery and started taking testosterone. |
| 25 | Diagnosed with polycythemia from testosterone, was taken off hormones for my health. |
| Mid-20s | Lived as a man for years after stopping T, but felt increasingly mismatched and socially anxious. |
| Around 33 | Realized I liked the feminine changes from being off T and didn't want to go back. Officially detransitioned socially and legally. |
| Present (30s) | Living as a woman, working on self-acceptance and navigating femininity on my own terms. |
Top Comments by /u/somethngsomewhere:
Give it time. Regardless of the T, your body, your skeleton is built as a female. When I'm feeling self conscious in public, one thing that helps me is to focus on my body like, especially my hips when I walk, take note of how they move, how my body mechanically works. When I zoom I on that it's apparent that there is femininity there. Other people pick up on these subtle things too. I would suggest giving your body time to readjust without T but also to start reconnecting with your body now. You could take up a new form of exercise, and notice how your body is built and how it moves. There are things that without a doubt are still feminine and will always be. Archeologists could dig up your skeleton and be able to tell your sex 300 years later. And the more time off of T, your fat distribution and many other things will revert back.
When I was 16 I knew a Trans guy about 20 years old, on T, a few months later came to tell me she was detransitioning and tell me that I should think harder about what I'm doing. That's the first Trans person I ever met telling me to think twice like... 15+ years ago. There's way more people who detransition than I think we even realize. I should have listened to that fucking omen, lol.
But of course, nobody listens until they realize it on their own and then they are shunned and silenced.
Im sorry that you were allowed the surgery so young, I was 16 myself when I had top surgery. You sound very mature and insightful for your age about this. So that's the good news, you are figuring this out now, you haven't taken hormones, and you are so young you can put this all behind you without wasting any more of your youth. Plenty of women have small, or no breasts for various reasons, I know it still sucks but life is not over, it is only just beginning for you. Don't worry about if you loose some people along the way. It's better to lose them if necessary than to waste more time doing what you know is not right for you. You have the whole life ahead of you to be happy, so I'm happy for you you figured it out now!
Gunna make this short and sweet. Any person who does not respect your boundaries is going to ultimately be a negative in your life. It doesn't matter the how's or the why's. Never allow someone to blatantly disrespect you by crossing your boundaries. The longer you hold onto people like that, doesn't change the ending. The ending is you being hurt and them still not understanding.
I'm honestly getting so tired of the who has it worse, who has it easier back and forth. I think the existence of detrans men and women just makes it really clear that the grass is never greener on the other side and that there's no easy way out. We can go bsck and for forever about who got the short end of the stick but the truth is that we all did.
I for one (a detrans woman) transitioned to male because I wanted to blend into the background, not be sexualized or noticed, I wanted to disappear. What I learned is that because I am a female, socialized as a female, with obvious feminine traits that will never go away,, I could never truly blend in and disappear into manhood because....I'm not a man. I didn't get the social benefits benefits wanted Because I'm obviously a female. So I detransitioned because I realized I was overcomplicating my life and making myself a social pariah.
The error in thinking is the belief that medicalization is the only way to live as someone with gender dysphoria. To do harmful things to the body, because regardless of weher you are one of the "real trans" or not we can not deny that cross sex hormone treatments are not harmless and carefree, it is to become a permanent patient for life and can cause many issues that are understudied. And under acknowledged. Nobody told me when I started T at 16 that I would be on the verge of osteoporosis at 30. Or high blood pressure. I dontbthink you can find emotional happiness through extreme physical alterations. I think gender dysphoria, like other emotional struggles humans can experience, can only truly be handled holistically. And in the cognitive and emotional realm.
I think the current model puts the importance of the mind over the importance of the body. But really they are connected, and we must have a healthy body to have a healthy mind. And to...well. live.
That's crazy to me that thwy even push it, it should be as simple as "I'm calling to cancel my appointment" and they say "okay would you like to reschedule, no? Okay have a good day" ... so it's all the red flags if they are pushing that you have to come. Just remember, you don't have to do shit.
Idk how to word this correctly and in a way that doesn't sound dismissive of your feelings. But i think it's time to...let it all go. Take a deep breath, exhale, and let it go. You are saying you should have accepted your body as it was....accept it now, right in this moment. Theres no better time than now.. Painstakingly combing through all your decisions including this one, finding a reason to beat yourself up about it isn't going to be helpful for you. So what if you are, or are not a hypocrite? It's the perfect time right now--- to work on releasing this resentment towards yourself. Be present. Because right now you are still looking back, and it just doesn't sound helpful at all. Like you aren't allowing yourself to be happy due to some vague moral judgment against yourself.
I sya this all with a kind tone, I hope it doesn't read negative at all.
It's easy to dismiss us in this way when they absolutely refuse to listen to our lived experiences, sticking fingers in ears going "la-la-la-la-la I can't heaaarrr youuuu"
Ever notice the posts/comments by Trans people claiming they read detrans sub and then became very fearful they might have made a mistake and need to be reaffirmed again? Like "help! I read the detrans sub and I don't know who I am anymore" ....we are their worst nightmare. Because maybe someday they will end up like us. So they can't afford to acknowledge our lived experiences.
"It's not like there's an abundance of mtftm who go on to live functional, successful lives."
We can not possibly know this because detrans people are not being studied nearly enough, are being silenced, and the nature of detransition means that usually the detrans person goes on to live a quiet, average life and does not broadcast their success and happiness to the world. Fir all we know there could be thousands of detrans mtftm (and ftmtf) that have gone to live perfectly content lives.