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Reddit user /u/somniculosa's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 15 -> Detransitioned: 18
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
body dysmorphia
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
only transitioned socially
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's perspective is consistent and nuanced, reflecting a personal journey common among desisters: a rejection of gender ideology rooted in feminist critique and misogyny, not medical transition. The raw emotion, personal anecdotes, and specific reasoning (e.g., the male gaze, familial misogyny) are not typical of scripted bot behavior. The passion and anger are consistent with the genuine trauma and stigma experienced by many in the detrans/desister community.

About me

I wanted to be a man to escape being a woman because I grew up surrounded by misogyny and hated the sexualization that came with female puberty. My desire to transition was never about my true self, but was instead a form of escapism from trauma and internalized hatred. I am so grateful I never medically transitioned and was able to realize the problem wasn't my female body, but how society treats it. I've learned to be proud of who I am and reject the idea that I needed to change my body to be safe or valued. Now I believe that for some, intensive therapy to work through trauma is a better path than transition.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I never medically transitioned, but for a long time, I genuinely believed I was supposed to be a boy. I wanted to be a man so I could escape being seen as a woman. Looking back, I can see it was never really about gender for me. It was about everything that came with being female in a world that often treats women badly.

I grew up with a really misogynistic father and an older brother who had the same views. I was constantly exposed to the idea that women were less than men, that we were defined by stereotypes, and that our value was tied to how we looked. I started to hate my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated the attention my body brought; it felt like I was constantly being sexualized by the male gaze, reduced to just a body to be looked at. I think I had a lot of body dysmorphia and a deep discomfort with the changes puberty brought, not because they were wrong, but because of what they meant in the eyes of others.

I wanted to transition socially, to be seen as male, because I thought it was the only way to be taken seriously and to be safe from that constant judgment. It felt like an escape. I had very low self-esteem and was pretty depressed. I now realize that my desire to transition was a form of escapism from the trauma of growing up with that kind of misogyny. I was trying to run away from being a woman because I saw how women were treated.

I was also influenced online. I spent a lot of time in spaces where transitioning was presented as the only solution for anyone who felt uncomfortable with their gender. It seemed like the obvious answer. I'm so grateful now that I never got access to hormones or surgeries. I was able to snap out of it before I did any permanent damage to my body.

What helped me finally understand myself was realizing that the problem wasn't my body. The problem was the way society treats female bodies. There is nothing wrong with having a woman's body; the wrongness is in the way people look at it and the nasty things misogynists say about us. I’ve had to learn to be proud of who I am and not let other people's ridiculous ideas define me. My body isn't dirty or wrong. I am so much more than a piece of meat to be ogled.

I don't believe gender is a real, tangible thing. I think it's a set of stereotypes and expectations that were constructed, often to oppress women. My whole experience has made me believe that transition isn't always the best solution for dealing with dysphoria. For some people, like me, what they really need is intensive therapy to work through their trauma, body image issues, and the internalized hatred they feel because of how society treats them.

I don't have any regrets about transitioning because I never medically did it. But I do regret the time I spent hating myself and my body for the wrong reasons. I regret buying into the idea that I needed to change my body to fix a problem that was never mine to fix in the first place.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13-14 Started puberty. Began to feel intense discomfort with my developing breasts and being sexualized.
15-16 Discovered trans communities online. Started believing I was a boy and wanted to socially transition to escape being a woman.
17 Began to critically question my feelings. Realized my desire to transition was rooted in misogyny and a hatred for how women are treated, not my body itself.
18 Fully rejected the idea of transition. Began the process of learning to accept and be proud of my body as a female.

Top Comments by /u/somniculosa:

7 comments • Posting since July 2, 2019
Reddit user somniculosa comments on the dismissal of detransitioners' experiences, calling it an immature, apathetic, and evil act to prioritize an agenda over their real stories.
13 pointsJul 2, 2019
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this legitimately makes me mad. how fucking immature and apathetic do you have to be to tell people their experiences arent real? youd rather further your agenda than admit maybe transitioning isnt for everyone? this is honestly evil. i never even medically transitioned, i cant even IMAGINE being one of the ones who went through that and is having their story dismissed as a “transphobic myth”. ugh, ew.

Reddit user somniculosa explains that both trans and detrans spaces can be hostile, and points out that many dysphoric people are detransitioners, suggesting transition isn't always the best solution.
9 pointsJul 3, 2019
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there arnet many places at all honestly, because trans spaces harbor lots of hate towards us as well. both sides have a tendency to be apathetic and hateful towards the other.

but id like to point out that many dysphoric folks are detransitioners. a lot more than youd expect. a lot more than /I/ expected. i think the phenomenon moreso proves that transition isnt always the best solution for dealing with dysphoria. it may work for some dysphoric folks but for others, they may require intensive therapy.

Reddit user somniculosa comments on a post about a parent's son wanting to be a girl, advising against entertaining the idea due to potential bullying or exposure to trans ideology, and shares a personal story of overcoming similar feelings rooted in misogyny and stereotypes.
5 pointsAug 8, 2019
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nah i would say dont entertain him being trans at this age period. like another commenter said he likely has been bullied for being feminine, or has been exposed to trans ideology somewhere. not to mention even if he DID have gender dysphoria, hrt is NOT the only option for dealing with it and neither is social transition. i think most people need to learn to be happy with their own bodies and their personalities even if they’re unconventional. i wanted to be a boy/man for a long time (luckily i never transitioned medically) only to realize i just hated being percieved as a woman because of how misogynistic my father and older brother were, plus all the dumb stereotypes placed on me as a woman, plus wanting to escape the male gaze and being seen as sexual all the damn time. now im learning to be proud of who i am and not let others ridiculous ideas about me affect me. please dont give this child puberty blockers or hormones.

Reddit user somniculosa explains that the concept of gender is "not real" because it is not a tangible or necessary fact, but rather a false and stupid social construct that shouldn't be taken seriously.
5 pointsJul 22, 2019
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and thats what people mean when they say its not real. its not tangible, its not necessary, its quite stupid, and it shouldnt exist and shouldnt be taken seriously. some people believe it to be directly related to our sex and in that case its not real. “people with vaginas like makeup and pink” isnt true, its not a real fact.

Reddit user somniculosa explains how internalized misogyny and body image issues fueled their gender dysphoria, and that acknowledging the difficulty of being a woman in a sexist culture would have helped them "snap out of it" sooner.
3 pointsMay 8, 2020
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i fortunately was able to snap out of it before i got ahold of hormones or any surgeries. that being said, i think what would have helped me snap out of it sooner is having someone acknowledge that being a woman/girl is very difficult in our culture, and its not uncommon for us females to resent our bodies and how they “out” us as somebody to be treated as though were inferior. how people look at our bodies and reduce us to sexual ornaments, but that doesnt mean our bodies are dirty or wrong. and that having body image issues was very likely contributing to my desire to hide away, cover up, change, etc. basically no matter what boys said, there was nothing wrong with my body and i am much more than a piece of meat to be ogled at or picked apart. that women are not all of the nasty things misogynists say about us.

Reddit user somniculosa responds angrily to a commenter, explaining that a previous search error was due to exhaustion and expressing frustration with receiving hostile responses when trying to start conversations online.
3 pointsAug 8, 2019
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are you okay...? like do you need a hug? someone to talk to?

heres the deal: i was tired as shit and forgot to put typology at the end of my google search. my fucking bad. please forgive me jesus. secondly, ive gotten this response on OTHER websites, not even here, when trying to spark a conversation with someone and they werent interested and would rather be a dick and tell me to fuck off and google it.

dont fuck with me dude. i didnt do shit to you. go be a miserable fuck somewhere else. youre rude as hell.

Reddit user somniculosa explains their view that gender is not a tangible fact and was constructed to oppress women, which is why they want it denounced.
3 pointsJul 22, 2019
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huh? its not idealistic to say gender itsnt tangible. thats just a fact. and yeah im completely and perfectly aware that gender was constructed to oppress women.... thats kinda.... why i want people to denounce it..... why are you getting so upset over this