This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed experience with medical transition, detransition, and the physical/emotional effects.
- Consistent perspective across multiple posts, offering empathetic advice rooted in lived experience.
- Complex, nuanced reasoning about gender, trauma, and identity that reads as genuinely human.
The user's passion and strong opinions are consistent with a real person who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I was born female and grew up in a very sexist Mormon community where I learned to associate being a woman with being weak. I transitioned to male because I thought it was the only way to be strong and respected, and I lived as a man for years, even having top surgery. A turning point came when I explored femininity in a safe way and realized my problem wasn't with being a woman, but with the negative stereotypes I'd internalized. I've since detransitioned and stopped testosterone, and while I have to live with some permanent changes, I've found real peace. I now know I can be a strong woman, and my value isn't tied to my gender.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. I was born female, and from a young age, I really hated the idea of being a woman. I grew up in a very sexist Mormon community where women were treated as less than men, and I saw how they were looked down upon. I developed a deep fear of being seen as weak or incompetent, which I associated entirely with being female. I thought that to be strong and to be respected, I had to be a man.
This feeling got worse during my teenage years. I hated my breasts and the changes that came with puberty; they felt like a trap, a sign of a weakness I was being forced into. I now see that a lot of this was not true gender dysphoria, but a form of internalized misogyny and trauma from my religious upbringing. I was running away from womanhood because of what it represented in my mind.
I socially transitioned first and then started taking testosterone. I was on T for a significant amount of time. I loved the social aspects of being seen as a man. For the first time, my naturally tomboyish personality was praised instead of making me an outcast. I felt respected. I also bound my chest consistently for several months, which did some permanent damage to my breast tissue, leaving them looking saggy and deflated.
I eventually had top surgery. My experience with binding and the surgery has given me some insight, and I’ve found myself advising men with gynecomastia on options, as the procedures are similar.
But over time, I started to question everything. A major turning point was exploring a sissy/femboy kink with my long-term partner. It was the first time I could express femininity and vulnerability in a way that felt safe and enjoyable, not reducing me to a negative stereotype. This made me realize that my problem wasn’t with being a woman itself, but with the hatred I felt towards the idea of being a weak woman.
I decided to detransition because I realized I didn't actually want to be a man. I just wanted to be treated with respect and to feel competent, and I had wrongly believed that was impossible as a woman. I am not transgender; I was just traumatized.
Stopping testosterone was difficult. I was on a high dose, and I recommend to others to taper off slowly to avoid the worst of the side effects like low energy, depression, and irritability. When I stopped cold turkey, it did not feel good. It’s been almost a year since I stopped, and my body has changed a lot. My body fat has redistributed to female patterns. My body and facial hair, which was once extremely thick and wiry—I was hairier than most cis men—has thinned out, softened, and doesn’t grow as long. My voice is still low and I sometimes get mistaken for a man on the phone, but it’s higher than it was and I’ve learned that with voice training, it’s possible to sound more feminine.
I have no regrets about my detransition. I do have some regrets about medically transitioning, as it caused some permanent changes to my body that I now have to live with, like my voice and the state of my chest. But I don’t regret the journey itself because it led me to a much healthier place. I’ve learned that my value isn't tied to my gender. I am a woman, but that doesn't mean I have to be feminine. I can be a strong, masculine woman. I can be anything I want. The most important lesson was learning to love and value myself for who I am, beyond any labels.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-15 | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty and developing breasts. |
| 18 | Socially transitioned to male. |
| 19 | Started testosterone (T) therapy. Began binding chest regularly. |
| 22 | Had top surgery. |
| 24 | Began to question my transition and explore my relationship with femininity. |
| 24 | Started the process of stopping testosterone. |
| 25 | Fully detransitioned and began living as a woman again. |
Top Comments by /u/sparrowlion:
For stopping T, I recommend slowly lowering your dosage before you stop. It's not the end of the world if you quit it cold turkey, but there's a good chance you'll end up with some negative effects, among which may be low energy, low sex drive, irritability, and depression. It'll be temporary, but your body will need time for your normal hormones to recover.
I'm no doctor, but my personal suggestion would be to take whatever dose you're on, and give yourself 2 months to get off it, and give yourself 2 weeks to adjust every time you lower the dose. (If you're taking 125 mg usually, it might be something like 100 mg, 100, 75, 75, 50, 50, 25, 25, then 0.) If your does is already low, you might be able to get off it a bit faster.
When I stopped, I was taking 0.7 mL, 200 mg/mL (140 mg) of Testosterone Cypionate intramuscularly each week. I reduced it to something like 0.2 mL straight away, and then stopped that altogether after about a month. It did not feel good.
It's definitely weird to get used to being a girl again. I still have a lot of gender issues personally, but I'm dealing with them in slightly healthier ways these days. It's okay to be GNC too, if that's more who you are. Detransitioning only means women's clothes shops if you want it to. The important part of detransition isn't letting go of the opposite sex's gender stereotypes and learning to conform to the gender stereotype of your assigned sex. Detransition is about avoiding the health hazards and long term damage that comes with medical transition that isn't medically necessary.
Give yourself all the time you need, and remember that you don't owe anyone femininity. Being a girl isn't about wearing heels and dresses and makeup. Those are things that you can do if you want to, but I think you'll be surprised about how much of your life stays the way it has been when you detransition. A lot of us chose to transition because we felt like we didn't fit the gender stereotypes of our birth sex, and there's no need to go back to trying to force it or escape it. Just live your life in whatever kind of way will bring you satisfaction and contentedness, and let anyone who has a problem with it hem and haw all they like.
If you do want to dress femininely, I'd say just go for it. I've been uncomfortable with expressing femininity all my life, but recently I've been able to put aside my fear of judgement and self-consciousness to try some light makeup and some cuter clothing, things I never would've before I transitioned. I like to think that the great lesson in all of this is learning that what other people think doesn't matter at all, and my gender and sex have nothing to do with the way I live my life and the things that I enjoy in any way other than sexual & romantic compatibility.
It'll also get easier to pass as female again the longer you're off T. As I'm sure you know, your body fat distribution will revert to female patterns within a few months after stopping. While body/facial hair growth and voice changes are technically permanent, they do ease with time and you'll get a lot better at managing it.
I've been off T for almost a year now, and I was an absolute yeti when I stopped. Few cis men were as hairy as I was. I am still hairy in all the same places, but the hair has thinned a ton, it's softer (as opposed to thick, rough, and wiry), and it doesn't grow nearly as long. A lot of people don't even notice if I don't point it out. I can get away with not shaving for several days before my facial hair grows in enough that I feel like it's going to be obvious. I don't even bother shaving my body hair, even when I go to the swimming pool. Remember that there are naturally hairy cis women, and once your hormones return to normal female levels your body and facial hair will be a lot closer to what a naturally hairy woman would be like, maybe even indistinguishable. Laser hair removal or other forms of electrolysis might also be an option for you if you really want it gone. I'm finding that it bothers me less the more time goes by.
My voice has also reverted a lot more than I expected it to since I stopped T. It's still pretty low, and I often get mistaken for a man when I'm gaming, but not always. I haven't put in the effort, but I've also seen some people get great results from focusing on feminizing their voices again. I mean, trans women can do it with some success, and we can too. A lot of it is vocal patterns as well. If you take the time to listen and identify it, you might notice that men and women often do use very different vocal inflections. You can re-learn feminine inflections. After a while living as a woman, it might start to come more naturally as well.
Also, turns out some people really dig hairy boobs and low voices on women. So maybe there's a bright side to that.
Sorry for writing you a whole textbook, but I hope the info is helpful.
The last thing I want to leave you with is a reminder that you are more than any labels assigned to you, and your life is yours to enjoy. Instead of worrying what people will think, command respect, respect yourself, and anyone who has issues with the way other people (you) look? Let them sputter and suffer as they realize that they have no power over you and that they cannot force you to fit inside their petty and superficial little worldview.
Just be you. Labels, appearances, and gender be damned. It's easier said than done, but that's really all there is to it. I promise it'll get easier the more time you spend living a self-care life.
I have the same kink. For me, acting femininely and submissively during sex with my long term partner was one of the first times I was able to enjoy femininity and vulnerability without feeling reduced to a stereotype. I grew up in a sexist cult (Mormon) and ended up realizing that what I thought was dysphoria had been an intense hatred of everything that made me a woman. I feared the way women were treated and thought of in my hometown, so I feared being a woman.
My personal experience was that the kink was my first safe and enjoyable outlet for any amount of genuine femininity I needed to express. However, there are also plenty of cis men that have sissy/femboy kinks, and it's just as possible that you're a trans man with a sissy/femboy kink.
However, since you're expressing wanting to be the "old you" and wanting to be able to embrace femininity in a confident and empowered way, you should definitely spend some time thinking about your reasons for transitioning.
Like you, I loved being a man socially. In my case it was because I finally felt respected, and the tomboyish personality traits that made me an outcast as a kid were praised when I was a man. I decided to detransition because I realized that I didn't want to be a man, I just wanted to be treated like I'm competent. I'm not trans, just traumatized.
Learning to value myself separately from my gender issues has helped a lot. The gender issues lessen the more I feel like I am valuable and worthy of love, regardless of how I present, and regardless of whether or not I fit stereotypes.
My advice for you, first of all, would be to stop trying to fit yourself into a neat little box like trans/detrans or man/woman. People are far more complex than that. Live the way you want to, without even a thought for whether it's masculine or feminine. Gender and sex are really only useful for romantic and sexual compatibility, they're not personality types.
Remember that GNC women can and do exist. Women do not have to be physically attractive to be beautiful, lovable people. Both women and men can be anything and any combination of things that they want to.
Most importantly though, love yourself. I'm glad you have a partner that supports all parts of you, and that could help you embrace your femininity. My partner helped me in a similar way. But you don't need external validation to accept all parts of yourself. Whatever you are, whatever you want to express, you can. You deserve to love yourself. I dare say, you need to love yourself. Let go of the regrets, the nostalgia, and the idea of reclaiming the old you. Reclaim the now you. The changes your body has been through won't be the last by a long shot, and you will still deserve to be loved, respected, and accepted completely as you age and wrinkle. It's okay to not be the old you. Every day your body and your mind evolves a little bit. Enjoy watching yourself grow and shift. Love the person you are, and the person you are becoming, whoever those people may be.
<3
For me it has always been the idea that women are weak and men are strong. I know there's some biological truth to it, but in the end it really is just a stereotype.
It hurt me though, it hurt me bad. I cannot live with the idea that I am incapable of becoming strong and protecting people. I'm not in shape right now, but any implication that my femaleness means that I could never become strong is not something I can stand.
It just takes time. You may not feel like you're strong enough, but that might be because you're not...yet. Try to get a good therapist if you can, and don't be afraid to try a few different therapists until one really clicks with you. Give yourself all the time you need. It's okay to take it slow, and just work on loving yourself.
You deserve to be happy and it will come to you with time. I've been there. I promise it just takes time.
Your nipples and areola look normal, perhaps even on the small, very male-appearing side. The breast tissue sucks, I'm sorry. Surgery as would normally be done for gynecomastia is definitely a good option, although expensive.
Since you don't have a lot of breast tissue, it's worth mentioning that you could binding. I hate to recommend it because as a detrans former FtM I know exactly how much it sucks, but after binding fairly consistently for several months of my medical transition, my breasts did end up a bit smaller. The compression does somewhat permanent damage to the breast tissue over time. My breasts are rather saggy and deflated -ooking now, but if you arrange your breast tissue correctly under the binder it might be able to squash them back into shape. There are binders that are made for men with gynecomastia as well, they were not originally invented for FtMs.
Last, you really don't have a lot of breast tissue. I can tell why you're uncomfortable and I'm sorry you've got this going on, but try not to sweat it too much. Without context I would honestly just assume you have rockin' pecs. I mean, have you seen Terry Crews? Those things get round as heck if you work 'em.
Best wishes, friend.