I’m going to be honest—if a celebrity transitioning causes people to transition, that’s not on the celebrity. People have to take responsibility for their choices, especially if they were adults when they made them. I’m sorry you went through what you did but finding our identity is a journey we all have to undertake and we cannot expect others to live their lives a certain way.

In Christianity, you are granted eternal life for accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior, not for being perfect or only sinning a little bit. Even if transitioning is a sin, which is debated, it does not bar you entry into Heaven. I really hope you find a good path forwards for yourself and feel inner and outer peace. ❤️

My struggle is I have OCD—I have doubts about every single thing I do. I know with certainty I don’t have tOCD/trans OCD because the idea of transition/acceptance of self brings me peace, not anxiety. But I will always have doubts. When I came out to my family, finally, after nine years of questioning, I immediately asked them to go back to my birth name and pronouns with them not even an hour later because my OCD cropped up and told me I wasn’t really trans and that being trans is a sin and yada yada. But I am so much more comfortable with my chosen name and pronouns and hate being called my birth name and referred to as my birth sex again.

Life is complicated, I know. Thank you for the advice and I will definitely look into finding smaller groups to talk to rather than a whole sub. I really thought that I could handle any internet trolling or hate at this point but I guess because admitting I’m questioning my identity makes me vulnerable it’s harder with this.

I am not going to try and convince you that you aren’t trans, but am I going to say:

February is only three months out. I promise you, it will be worth waiting. I know it feels urgent right now, but in the long run you aren’t losing out. Take this time to continue to express yourself and explore your identity. Question yourself—question why you want to take hormones right now. Question everything, honestly. Reflect.

I hope this is helpful.

Not having surgery or taking hormones doesn’t invalidate your identity and who you know you are. I think best way to look at this is “how would you talk to someone else expressing these feelings and worries to you”. I don’t believe you would tell a trans man who couldn’t come out due to a dangerous living situation that he wasn’t “really” a man, nor do I think you would tell anyone here who has taken hormones or had surgery that they aren’t the gender they identify as.

Obviously this doesn’t solve the struggle of physical things that cause dysphoria for you, but I hope it’s some consolation. No matter what, you are who you are.

Detrans folks saying they felt pressured into transitioning, I absolutely do not dispute, as their lived experience is real, just different from mine. I am older, and I know social media has had a huge impact on many younger than me (and truly all of us on it to some degree, regardless of age) and the peer pressure is real, along with ridiculous things like folks saying “if you’ve ever questioned your gender you are trans”.

And there are lots of deep and nuanced conversations to be had on what is gender—what does that word mean, etc. I definitely don’t dispute that either. I know some people see gender as an entirely social construct while others believe it is innate and I don’t have a problem with either of those views. They’re different, but not inherently bad.

My issue has specifically been the fact that multiple folks have now called being trans/coming out as trans in and of itself a fad or fashion thing which is pretty absurd and does harken back to people calling those who come out as LGB attention seeking or doing it because it’s “cool”.

I can tell you this subreddit is specifically referenced as a resource on a homophobic and transphobic “documentary” made by a local “Christian therapy” place (very much seems to be a conversion therapy organization). I don’t know if influences like this affect how this space operates, but it’s something I think about.

Detrans people’s experiences should not be invalidated and detrans people absolutely should not be targeted with the kind of rhetoric you’re describing. I hope we can get to a place where trans and detrans folks are treated with respect, dignity, and compassion.

How old are you? It’s very normal for people to not be diagnosed with autoimmune conditions until their 20’s and 30’s. I was just diagnosed with axial spondyloarthritis this year, at 27, with no medical transition history. I don’t want to say this is Broken Arm Theory, as it’s absolutely possible hormones could have played a role, but I would think hereditary is more likely. Regardless, best of luck to you. Autoimmune conditions suck and diagnosing/treating them is about as clear as mud.

Haha! Yeah, yeah, you got me there! 😂I didn’t realize it was OCD at first. Took a couple days after freaking out and “uncoming out” for me to realize that just like folks could have tOCD, I could have cis OCD, because OCD is a monster that will latch onto anything.

I am truly sorry for anything I’ve said these past couple of days that have been invalidating to those here. Wish there was an easy way to shout that out but to be honest, I’m sure none of these folks have given me a second thought.

Thank you for understanding. I hope your OCD is well managed. It’s such a beast and the ones that make us doubt ourselves are something few people outside of those who have experienced it can understand.

No—I don’t blame you, and I am incredibly saddened by what so people here have been through. I’m so sorry for what you went through and that should never have happened to you.

It’s very clear this sub isn’t going to help me with my journey in the way I need so I’m going to distance myself now. I really hope your detransition and recovery are going well.