This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time, detailing a 10-year transition followed by a 6-month detransition. The language is personal, vulnerable, and includes complex, conflicting emotions (e.g., jealousy, grief, empowerment) that are characteristic of genuine human experience, particularly in this community. The passion and occasional anger align with the expected sentiment of someone who has experienced harm.
About me
I was born female and began to hate my body during puberty, feeling that being a woman meant I was weak. I transitioned and was on testosterone for ten years, but it was a form of escapism from my low self-esteem and internalized issues. I finally realized my transition was heavily influenced by a messed-up coping mechanism linked to my sexuality. I’ve been off hormones for six months and am learning to feel cute and confident as a woman again, though I grieve what I lost. My journey was about trying to solve an internal problem with an external solution, and I’m now just trying to find comfort in being myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been a long and complicated one, and it’s taken me a lot of time to understand my own reasons for it all.
I was born female, and from a very young age, I had serious issues with my femininity. I felt like being a girl meant I was weak and inferior, that I was lesser than. I hated that feeling and fought against it hard when I was younger. I think a lot of my discomfort started with puberty and the changes that came with it. I really hated developing breasts; it felt like a symbol of everything I was trying to escape from.
I transitioned socially and then medically. I was on testosterone for ten whole years. During that entire decade, I was never once happy with my body. It never felt right. Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was running from the discomfort of being a woman in a world that made me feel weak. I also had really low self-esteem and I think I was deeply influenced by what I saw online.
A huge part of it, which I don't admit to most people, was linked to kink and sexuality. I realize now that subconsciously, I was choosing to feel weak and inferior because I had started to associate those feelings with positive physical stimuli. It was a really messed up coping mechanism. Even throughout my entire transition, I loved being treated like a woman in the bedroom. I always loved being called a "good girl." It’s so obvious to me now, but at the time, I didn't see it as a sign that something was wrong with my transition. It wasn't until I talked about this with someone online about a decade in that everything just clicked and came flooding to the surface. I realized the connection, and it became undeniable. I told my family and friends I was detransitioning within a week of that realization.
I’ve only been off testosterone for about six months now, and I’m already starting to pass as female again. It’s been a rough journey, but it’s also exciting. For the first time, I finally feel cute, comfortable, and confident. A big part of that for me is about dressing femininely again. When I wear a cute dress and get identified as a woman on the street, it feels empowering. As bad as it sounds, even getting male attention helps me realize that I didn’t ruin my body; I just changed it. Yes, it’s sad and I do grieve for what I lost, especially my fertility, but it doesn’t take away my potential to be seen as attractive. I’m learning to accept that a lot of men love a small chest, and that’s okay.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret not listening to my gut sooner. I was so embarrassed by the idea of being "wrong" about something so important that I stayed on testosterone for years after I first had doubts. I also struggle with jealousy sometimes when I see women who desisted and never medically transitioned; I feel a pang that it’s not fair, and then I feel horrible for feeling that way because I wouldn’t wish my struggles on anyone.
My voice is one of the hardest things to deal with. It’s a constant reminder. I try to tell myself that my voice still has the ability to incite change and bring positivity into the world, that it can make people happy. That’s what it’s for. But it’s still really hard.
I don’t think gender is a simple thing for me. I think I was trying to solve a deep internal problem with an external solution. I was trying to escape from myself. Now, I’m trying to find comfort in just being me, whoever that is.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Puberty) | Started hating the development of my breasts and feeling that being female meant I was weak and inferior. |
| (Young Adulthood) | Socially transitioned and began taking testosterone. |
| (10 years on T) | Realized the role kink and internalized feelings of inferiority played in my transition after an online conversation. |
| (10 years on T) | Informed my family and friends of my decision to detransition and stopped testosterone. |
| (6 months off T) | Wrote about passing as female again and beginning to feel cute, comfortable, and confident. |
Top Comments by /u/squiddy0_0:
Girl i so relate, but mainly on here. Anytime I’m on Reddit and see a desisted female instead of a detrans one…I get unreasonably jealous…and then I feel horrible. I don’t want anyone to go through what I’m going through, so why does it feel so bad? Why do i feel like it’s not fair??
I’m not really here to make anything better, because fuck, i don’t know how to. I just want you to know I’m in the same boat and I truly do feel your pain. I’m sorry for what you’re going though. Shoot me a dm if you wanna talk 💕
Do you mind if i ask what the process was like coming to terms with this decision? I’m so miserable trying on clothes too…but I’m so worried that the feeling and appearance of having breasts will be so foreign to me, considering I’ve lived more of my life without them than with them. Additionally, I don’t know how to figure out if this is something that I want for me and the aesthetic of my body, or if it’s something that I just want to more easily appeal to the male gaze. I would love to hear about how you worked through your feelings in coming to terms with reconstruction if you’d be so kind 💕💕💕 you look SO beautiful by the way!!! 😍
I agree with you here!!! Also, as someone that was on testosterone for 10 years, and has only been off for 6 months, I can say that I’m already passing again! I think a lot of it may just depend on individual facial features! I could be wrong but I’m just speculating. But from what I’ve seen, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been on T. When you stop, most of it balances back out when you give it enough time. Nature knows what to do.
Hey! I think you shouldn’t hesitate to tell them. I didn’t do anything about detransitioning until years after I first thought of it. I was so embarrassed of “being wrong” about something “so important”. The 10 years that I was on testosterone..never once was i happy with my body. It wasn’t until I finally made the decision to stop that i finally feel cute, comfortable, and confident. (Its a rough journey, detransitioning, but it’s so exciting too! And you’ll get to a place of comfort also, I’m sure of it 💕) My advice is to follow your heart, and your gut. You know what you need to do. Don’t fear anyone’s reaction, and live your life authentically for you and you alone 💕
Honestly I’m only a couple months into my detransition journey but for me it’s about dressing femininely. When i wear cute dresses and get identified as female on the street, or as bad as it sounds, when I notice I’m getting male attention, that’s kinda what empowers me 😅 sometimes I need that to realize that I didn’t ruin my body, I just changed it. Yes, it’s sad and I grieve, but it doesn’t take away from the potential I have to be seen as attractive, I suppose. A lot of men love a small chest, and either way, pussy rules the world 😂😎 Wishing you the best! New to Reddit so don’t know rly how this app works but feel free to dm 😊
Thank you so, so much. This really helps me to know, and I’ll continue giving reconstruction thought as I save up the money for it. I’m so glad you’re in a position where you’re happy and healthy. You’re truly an inspiration and I hope to be where you’re at one day 💕
I’m so glad I ran into this post, because it’s one i heavily relate to.
Although i don’t admit it to most people, kink played a big factor in my detransition. But let’s backtrack a little. I’ve always had issues with my femininity. From a very young age, being a girl meant I was weak and inferior. It meant I was lesser than. I loathed these feelings, and obviously fought back against them very hard in my adolescence and young adulthood. However, i feel like subconsciously, choosing to feel weak, choosing to feel inferior, and associating (physically) positive stimuli with them? Well, that’s just a LOVELY coping mechanism. So yeah, throughout my whole transition, I loved being treated like a woman in the bedroom. I always LOVED being called a good girl. (why did I not see this as a sign???) Anyway. It wasn’t until a decade into my transition where I finally brought it up to someone I fooled around with online, and everything just became undeniable and it flooded to the surface. I informed my family and friends within the week.
Sorry to just lay out my story like that, but I promise you’re not alone. DM’s are open if you wanna talk more or have any questions 💕
Me too, friend. Me too 😔
I try to remind myself that my voice still has the ability to incite change, it still has the ability to bring positivity into the world and make people happy. That counts for A LOT. That’s what my voice is for…
But yeah..this is so hard…