This story is from the comments by /u/squishymushyroom that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a complex, multi-year personal journey involving transitioning, detransitioning, and settling into a non-conforming identity, including detailed medical and psychological reflections. The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal introspection that is difficult to fabricate consistently. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who has experienced this path.
About me
I started transitioning to female at 18, believing it was my only path to happiness after a lifetime of dysphoria. I now realize I had never explored who I was as a man and had simply traded one rigid box for another. About three months ago, I woke up and mentally detransitioned, finally feeling free to live as my natural, gender non-conforming self. I've reduced my hormone dose and am comfortable with where I'm at physically. The entire journey taught me to accept myself as a man and that you don't have to change your sex to find peace.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I’m only now starting to make sense of it all. For about eight years, I lived as a trans woman. I started when I was 18, and I was completely convinced it was the only path for me. I truly believed I was born wrong and that I was a woman inside. The idea was that if I didn't transition, I would be miserable for the rest of my life living as a man. I had felt what I called gender dysphoria since I was a kid, and I interpreted that as proof that I was supposed to be female.
A big part of my starting point was breaking free from a very strict religious cult around the same time I began transitioning. I realize now that I had never actually explored who I was as a man. I went straight from one rigid box into another. I was so sure back then, but over the years, I had a few brief periods where I questioned if this was right for me. Those doubts never lasted long, and I always went back to my routine.
Then, one day about three months ago, I just woke up and it was like a switch flipped in my head. It felt like waking up from a dream, or even a psychotic break. I suddenly thought, "I don't think I want to do this anymore." Ever since that moment, everything has changed. I started binding my chest, dressing in masculine clothes, and just acting like my natural self. It has been incredibly freeing to stop trying to fit myself into a box.
I’ve come to understand that I was deluded by the belief that transitioning was the only solution to gender dysphoria. I was never in denial about my biology or the physical effects of hormones, but I was convinced there was no other way to be happy. Now, I fully accept myself as a very gender non-conforming man. That’s what I am, and I’m happy with that.
I don’t regret transitioning at all. The entire journey, all eight years of it, taught me so much about myself and the world. It molded me into the person I am today, and that person is ready to live as his natural sex. I know I’m nothing like the boy I was at 18; I’ve grown so much.
When I mentally detransitioned, I also started to think about my medical path. I’ve been on estrogen injections for almost eight years. I’ve reduced my dose by about a third and I take it less frequently. I’ve thought about stopping completely, but I can’t bring myself to do that just yet, and I don’t think that’s wrong. I’m pleased with how I look—I was lucky genetically—and I’m comfortable with a reduced dose for now. I believe people have the right to modify their bodies, but we shouldn't deny our biological reality or force others to accept a delusion. Gender dysphoria is a real burden, but it doesn't mean you are what you think you are.
I’ve also started thinking about the future in a new way, like having kids and being a parent one day, which isn’t possible on my previous path. My advice to anyone questioning is to not rush to label yourself. Don't put yourself in any box. Just do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and confident, and remember you’re moving forward, not going back.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Began identifying as a trans woman and started taking estrogen. |
| 18 to 25 (approx.) | Lived as a trans woman for about 8 years. |
| 25 (approx.) | Mentally detransitioned; began identifying as a gender non-conforming male, binding, and dressing masculinely. |
| 25 (approx.) | Reduced estrogen injection dose by one-third and began taking it less frequently. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/squishymushyroom:
I completely agree 100% with you. i identified as a trans woman for 8 years, was on hormones that entire time too. I truly believed I was born "wrong" and was a woman inside. I woke up one day and also asked myself wtf am I doing, it was like waking up from a psychotic break or something.
I've spent the last few months debating coming off hormones completely, but I cant bring myself to do that. I dont think its wrong though. I fully accept myself as a very gender non conforming man, its what I am. im happy with a reduced injection dose, and im very pleased with how I look and how people treat me. perhaps i would feel differently if I didnt look the way I look, I was lucky genetically.
if people want to modify their body, I think they should and have every right too. but people shouldn't deny their biological reality or force others to believe / accept their delusion. it's a weird place to be in, cause gender dysphoria is obviously a very real burden, but that doesnt mean you are what you think you are.
I was never in denial of my biology, sex, or the consequences of taking hormones. I would however say i still deluded by the belief that transitioning was the only way to handle gender dysphoria or that if I didnt, i would suffer and be miserable the rest of my life.
try not to think of it as "going back". really, you are going forward. your understanding of yourself has evolved.
if I could give you any advice, it's to not label yourself. dont put yourself in any box or conform to anything against your will. ultimately, do whatever makes YOU feel the most comfortable and confident. forget any labels or "identities".
tbh with you, im not completely sure. over the past 7 years, ive had a few brief periods where I questioned whether this was the right path for me. they never lasted long and I always went back to normal. when I began transitioning, I was 100% confident this was right for me. i truly believed I had to transition or else id be miserable my entire life living as a man. i believed that just because ive suffered from gender dysphoria since a kid, that it actually means i was a woman and something went wrong with who im supposed to be.
well one day last month I kind of just woke up and was like "I don't think i wanna do this anymore". ever since that moment, ive been binding, dressing like a dude, and behaving / acting as my normal self. it has been extremely freeing. when I transitioned I was 18 and just breaking free from a religious cult. ive never actually explored who I was as a man, and I think I really want to now. I dont regret transitioning at all - in fact I have learned SO much about myself and the world through it. the entire journey has molded me into the person I am today, and that person wants to explore living as their natural sex / gender. I know i would be NOTHING like the boy I was before. additionally, ive been thinking about having kids and being a parent one day. I cant do that on this current path.
wow, so happy to hear that! thanks for sharing. i'm in a similar boat and have been on hrt for a bit over 7 hears. I dont really consider myself trans anymore, and ive mentally detranstioned last month. I started binding and dressing very masculine, as well as behaving my natural self. ive stopped fitting myself into a box. its been extremely freeing.
ive reduced my injection dose by 1/3 over the past 4 weeks and take it not as frequently. im not sure im ready or want to take the leap into stopping completely😬
body and facial hair can be lasered off, or electrolysis. finasteride can block dht, which will prevent balding. healthy diet and exercise will prevent getting fat.
taking anti-androgens is not healthy and will cause health issues down the road, your body needs at least one dominant sex hormone. with anti-androgens you will have low estrogen and low testosterone.
it would be healthier to take estrogen with no aa, than just an aa.
i would say you definitely have an androgynous face, but nonetheless is quite feminine and I would read you as a butch lesbian based off this one still photo. lots of butch women get gendered male even if they never took hrt. perhaps your voice and general way of carrying yourself / energy leans more masc and people jump to male based on that.
you can reclaim a male identity and still stay on estrogen for the time being.. perhaps you should consider that as an option? I mentally detranstioned about 3 months ago. I've accepted myself as a very non conconforming male, but I've started dressing much more masculine as well as behaving and acting my true self / masculine. ive contemplated stopping estrogen completely, after almost 8 years, but ive settled on a reduced injection dose. in your case, stopping estrogen after 10 years and jumping right into testosterone treatment is quite a fast decision. there isnt any rush to this.