This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments show:
- Personal, nuanced reflection on complex feelings about gender, sexuality, and trauma.
- Emotional variability appropriate to the context (anger, frustration, compassion, support).
- Consistent, specific advice that aligns with a detrans/desister perspective, including the important distinction for a "desisted male."
- A conversational style with natural phrasing ("psychological fuckery," "those people are cunts") that fits a passionate individual.
The passion and anger present are consistent with someone who has experienced harm, not with automated behavior.
About me
My discomfort started as a girl when puberty hit and I felt vulnerable and targeted by male attention. I got pulled into online communities and identified as non-binary, but the whole thing felt like confusing psychological games. I realized my feelings were tangled up with trauma and my difficult experiences with men and sexuality, not with actually being the wrong sex. Seeing the negative effects of hormones on someone close to me finally opened my eyes to how messy it all was. Now, I believe my struggle was an escape from deeper issues, and I'm just trying to live honestly without those labels.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender feels like a confusing mess looking back, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. A lot of it started with the discomfort of being a girl going through puberty. I remember telling a friend that I didn't want to be a woman because it meant being vulnerable. When men start staring at your body before you even hit puberty, it makes you want to disappear, to not be in that body at all. I think a big part of my initial pull away from being female was a desire to escape that feeling of being a target.
I got really involved online, and that’s where I found these communities. I saw how people talked about being non-binary, but it frustrated me because no one could even agree on what the words meant. It felt like a ton of convoluted psychological fuckery. I started to theorize about hormones and how their effects are so overlooked, which just made me angry. I think I was trying to find a scientific reason for feelings that were actually rooted in something else.
For me, a lot of it was tangled up with my sexuality. I’m attracted to men, but I’ve had a problem with porn, and I started to imagine myself as a male version of myself when I thought about being with a woman. It wasn't that I felt gay; it was more like I wanted to embody a male persona to give myself pleasure because my experiences with actual men had been so disappointing. I think there was a lot of internalized stuff going on there, and I see now how internalized homophobia can push people, especially gay people, toward thinking they're trans.
I never medically transitioned, but I identified as non-binary for a while. The pressure was intense, and I saw how toxic it could get. I lived with a male who transitioned and then went off estrogen and became incredibly bitchy on top of his already toxic personality. It opened my eyes to how messy it all is. I started to realize that if it wasn't making me happy, I should stop. I had to have patience with myself and understand that it's okay to go back. Any shame I felt about changing my mind was nothing compared to the regret of living a lie.
Now, I don't really believe in clinging to gender concepts like masculine or feminine. I think people lose themselves in that. My thoughts on gender now are that it's often a way to escape from deeper issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, and trauma. I don't regret exploring it because it led me to where I am now, but I regret not being more critical of the ideas I was absorbing online and from people around me. I was influenced by friends and the internet, and I wasn't protected from making those mistakes. I’m just trying to live honestly now and help others who might be going through the same confusion.
Age | Event |
---|---|
Around 11-12 | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty and being seen as a woman. Felt vulnerable and targeted by male attention. |
20 | Became heavily involved in online communities, identified as non-binary. Felt frustrated by the confusing and contradictory language used. |
22 | Lived with a transgender male, saw the negative psychological effects of hormones and detransition firsthand. |
23 | Began to question my identity, realizing my feelings were linked to trauma, internalized homophobia, and a problematic relationship with porn. |
23 | Stopped identifying as non-binary. Focused on understanding the root causes of my discomfort instead of transitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/steelhandgod:
You look great, and I'm happy you feel like you're closer to finding yourself! Try not to cling too hard to gender concepts like masculine or feminine, I really think people tend to lose themselves in that, which is of course unhelpful to your personal development. Wishing you the best in life 🙏
I remember your previois post. I'm so deeply sorry you're going through this, and that you ended up on Twitter. Fuck them. I've been telling anyone who will listen, and screaming it at those who won't, that this is the kind of shit kids are going through right now. And yes, they absolutely treat you as collateral damage. "The rate of regret is so low, those people are anomalies." Those people are cunts.
Don't throw away your life. You've made mistakes, and you weren't protected from those mistakes. Life is one mistake after another. It's what you do with those mistakes that actually matters. You can still live, and you can help others who are going through the same. You are loved.
"desisted male" would be the flair for you, going by your explanation. You should try talk to them openly about this, tell them (if this is how you feel, I'm just going off of what you've said so please correct me if I'm wrong) that you felt pulled towards a trans identity because you are actually homosexual. Explain to them what is going on in the trans world regarding internalized homophobia. Be honest. It will be really hard, but it's even harder to live a lie. All the best to you ❤️
I remember coming across a random comment somewhere, someone asked what nonbinary was and someone jumped in to tell them it means "neither male nor female" 🤦♀️ I get so frustrated because they can't even all get on the same page about which words mean what.
I've imagined myself with another woman, but I don't feel like I'm gay. I think it's just, like, wanting to embody a male version of myself that can give me pleasure because actual men don't, even though I'm sexually attracted to them. :( maybe it's from watching porn, idk.
I don't want to sound harsh, but your first responsibility in this is to do away with the idea that some people wouldn't be rude, in the sense that it is inevitable, especially on Reddit. You don't deserve to be told such things at all, of course, but try to remind yourself that some people are just miserable and that's their problem, if they say things like that. Keep going ❤️
It's honestly a ton of convoluted psychological fuckery.
I lived with a male who transitioned and then went off E and became extra bitchy in addition to the extremely toxic personality he came with. I can only imagine how many others there are just like him lol
Thank you for this, for the last several years I've been theorizing about the effects of different hormone levels on the sexes, and how what seems like something that should be obvious is just so commonly and blatantly overlooked. It's actually infuriating.
Have patience with yourself, this is the most important thing. If this isn't making you happy anymore, then stop. It's okay to go back. Any shame or embarrassment you might feel is nothing in comparison to the shame and regret of living a lie. You will find yourself ❤️
Very much this, as well. I was just telling a male friend last night, that I didn't want to be a woman because being a woman meant being vulnerable. Like, when men are staring at your body before you even hit puberty, it makes you feel like you don't want to be in your body at all.