This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative of surgical regret, emotional pain, and the specific struggles of detransitioning. The emotional rawness, personal details (like the friend's death and the specific game played as a coping mechanism), and the evolution of perspective over a multi-year span are not typical of fabricated accounts. The language is passionate and sometimes angry, which aligns with the warning about the user's potential emotional state.
About me
I transitioned because I thought becoming a woman was the only way to fix my unhappiness, but the surgeries left me feeling broken and dehumanized. After my operation, my life fell apart and I became more depressed than I had ever been before, using video games to escape suicidal thoughts. I found that living as a trans woman was incredibly isolating, as people treated me worse and I felt like I had to hide who I was. I finally realized that I can't actually become a woman, and that I was living a much more stable and happy life as a man. Now I'm trying to find a way to be okay again, but I have to do it with a body that is permanently changed from a decision I deeply regret.
My detransition story
My entire journey with transition started from a place of deep unhappiness, but I now see it was a path that ultimately broke me. Before I transitioned, as a man, I did struggle with depression, especially when I was younger. But as an adult male, right before I started transitioning, I had actually learned how to cope and live a pretty normal, productive life. I was happy for long periods and knew how to function.
I decided to transition because I had a strong desire to be a woman. I truly believed it was the only way to fix the discomfort I felt. I went through with surgeries, including what I believe was a vaginoplasty. The surgery and recovery were traumatic. I was passed between at least seven different surgeons and I felt completely dehumanized by the process. I remember desperately telling them that I just wanted to look human again, but they didn't seem to understand. They prescribed me antipsychotics, thinking it was just post-op depression, but the medication was horrible and I refused to take it. I felt like my very real distress about my physical results was being dismissed as a mental health problem.
After the surgery, my life didn't get better; it got so much worse. I became more mentally unstable and broken than I had ever been in my life. I wasn't productive anymore and any happiness I found was fleeting. I fell into a deep depression and used a game called Albion Online as a complete escape. I would play it almost every waking hour because whenever I stopped, I was overwhelmed with the desire to die. The game was the only thing that kept me from killing myself.
Socially, being a trans woman was isolating and painful. People treated me worse and no one was genuinely attracted to me. I felt like I had to lie and pretend to be a cisgender woman for people to treat me with a little respect or show romantic interest. As soon as I would tell someone I was trans, they would lose all interest, which made me feel disgusting and like I was tricking people. I researched other surgeries, like vocal feminization, but was talked out of it by a surgeon who admitted it was a last-resort procedure with a high regret rate that often left people sounding worse.
I went through some terrible personal trauma during this time, like the death of my best friend, and I wondered if that was the real reason I was so broken and not the transition itself. But I've come to realize a fundamental truth: I can't actually become a woman. No matter how much I wished for it, it's not how things work, and modern medicine can't make it happen. I lived a more fulfilling and happy life before I transitioned.
I regret transitioning. It was a mistake that I can't fully go back on. My body is permanently changed. I am trying to find a way to live a stable life again, but now I have to do it from this place.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Adult) | Before 2019 | Lived as an adult male; had learned to cope with depression and was living a productive life. |
| (Adult) | Spring 2019 | Underwent genital surgery (vaginoplasty). Felt dehumanized by the surgical team and results. |
| Late 2019 | Prescribed antipsychotics for post-op depression; refused to take them. | |
| 2021 | Used Albion Online video game obsessively to escape severe post-transition depression and suicidal ideation. | |
| 2021 | Researched vocal feminization surgery but was advised against it by a surgeon. | |
| 2023 | Came to the conclusion that transition was a mistake and that I cannot become a woman. Began identifying as detransitioned. |
Top Comments by /u/stupidstories:
I realized that I can't actually become a woman no matter how much I wished I was. Its not how things work and modern medicine isn't good enough to make that happen.
I lived a more fulfilling and happy life before I transitioned. Transitioning was a mistake.
Wow. You must be a really bad person.
Imagine having a experience in life that doesn't match up with someone else's narrative.
I hope you one day become more considerate of others and don't have personal experiences anymore.
Having personal experiences is bad for other people. Didn't your mom teach you anything about being a responsible person?
I was never as mentally unstable or broken as I've been post transition.
As a man I did have depressive episodes as well and especially when I was younger I didn't have very good ways to cope with how I felt. But as an adult male especially the period right before I transitioned I had learned how to live a pretty normal life.
But transitioning just broke. I thought if I kept going it would eventually get better but it never did. And i've come to the conclusion that for me to be happy I can't live as a trans woman.
It is true I've had periods of being fine, but I was never productive the way I used to be during those periods. And I was never happy for very long which I used to be.
I suffered through a few traumatic events during my transition, one of them being my best friend died. Maybe it was just these events that broke me as a person? And maybe it wasn't because of the transition. But I still want to try and see if I'm able to find a stable life again as something else.
Vocial feminication surgery is horrible. So far everyone I've heard that have had that surgery sounds worse afterwards and not at all more feminine. Among trans girls it has the highest regret rate of any surgery that exist. I talked to a surgeon that did this surgery about 3 years ago and he talked me out of it. They only do it on "hopeless cases" as a last resort because sometimes it does actually work.
You should do voice training, the vocal folds are muscles and just like any muscle they can be trained.
I play albion online basically 99% of the time I'm awake. Haven't really eaten or slept. Don't feel like it. whenever i stop playing i just want to die or play more.
Last time when I posted that suicide letter I almost actually did just go out and kill myself. But started playing albion instead and basically lived inside the game.
I asked for Hannes but they gave me a new surgeon that started doing SRS this spring. I don't care about the clitoris I just want to look human again.
No idea how many surgeons they have. I've met at least 7 different surgeons.
They prescribed anti psychotics to me instead but I don't want to take them. They are so horrible. They just think I'm suffering from post op depression but is it really too much to ask for to want to look human?
Life just gets so much worse after anyways and i regret transitioning.
I can't even really go back if i wanted to. People treat you worse and no one is attracted to you anymore. No one cares about a tranny. I even have to lie and pretend to be cis for people to treat me with a little respect.
Sometimes they get interested in me romantically but as soon as I tell them I'm a disgusting tranny they lose all interest. So instead i just pretend to be cis and feel like I'm lying and tricking them into liking me
"criteria for the diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria (GD) as defined by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th edition). "