This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced perspective over 17 months. The user explicitly states they are not a detransitioner but are closely connected to the issue through family members (sister, SIL). Their arguments are detailed, personal, and show an understanding of the emotional complexity involved, which is consistent with a genuine observer passionate about the potential harms of rapid-onset gender dysphoria and transition.
About me
I started my journey feeling deeply uncomfortable with my body during puberty, especially with developing breasts. I thought my physical discomfort and sensory issues, which I now see were linked to anxiety and autism, meant I wasn't female, so I began identifying as non-binary and later took testosterone and had top surgery. I eventually realized I hadn't solved my underlying depression and anxiety, and I had mistaken my issues for a gender problem. I began to detransition, which was a lonely process, but therapy focusing on my trauma and self-esteem has truly helped me. Now, I believe we sometimes medicalize normal feelings of not fitting in, and I want others to know it's okay to question and to prioritize mental health before making permanent decisions.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I felt deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt foreign and wrong, like something that shouldn't be happening to me. I now see this as a mix of puberty discomfort and body dysmorphia, made worse by my anxiety and low self-esteem. I was also struggling with depression and found a lot of escape online.
I first identified as non-binary. It felt like a way to explain the feeling of not fitting in. A lot of my online friends were also exploring gender identities, and many of them were on the autism spectrum. I think I was influenced online and by my friends to see my discomfort through a gender lens. Looking back, I believe my sensory issues, which are common with autism, played a huge part. I couldn't stand the feeling of certain women's clothing; it felt like I wanted to claw my skin off. Wearing men's clothes, like my husband’s shorts, was a huge relief, but I mistook that physical comfort for a sign of a different gender identity.
I started taking testosterone. I thought it was the solution to all my problems. For a while, it felt good to be taking action, like I was finally doing something about my unhappiness. But the effects are serious and permanent. My voice dropped, I grew facial hair, and I am now infertile. I eventually had top surgery to remove my breasts. I was so sure it was what I needed to finally feel right.
But after a while, I realized I hadn’t solved my underlying problems. My depression and anxiety were still there. I had mistaken my issues for a gender problem when they were really about other things. I began to detransition. It was an incredibly lonely and confusing time. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone because the narrative was so one-sided. I was afraid people would think I was a traitor or that my story would be used against other trans people.
I don’t regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to get to where I am now, but I deeply regret the permanent changes to my body, especially losing my fertility. I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy that finally helped me address my trauma, anxiety, and self-esteem issues instead of just affirming my gender confusion.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's become too simplified. I think we’ve started to medicalize normal feelings of not fitting in, especially for young people and those on the autism spectrum. Being a tomboy or a masculine woman is a valid option that doesn't require any medical treatment. I saw how insular the community could be, almost cult-like, where anyone outside of it was just a "cis" person who didn't really get it. This us-vs-them thinking prevents real conversation about the serious, lifelong health complications of medical transition.
I’m sharing this because I want others to know that it's okay to question and it's okay to change your mind. The most important thing is to deal with your mental health first, before making any permanent decisions.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 14 | 2010 | Started puberty, began to experience intense discomfort with my developing body and hated my breasts. |
| 22 | 2018 | Came out as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends. |
| 23 | 2019 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 24 | 2020 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 26 | 2022 | Realized my underlying issues were not resolved, began to detransition. |
| 27 | 2023 | Stopped testosterone, began therapy focused on trauma and anxiety. |
Top Comments by /u/succedaneousone:
I think that it's pretty demeaning to reduce someone's suffering and struggle down to a fun fashion choice, political statement, and/or a way to avoid dealing with your own mental health issues, and I think that's what 'non-dysphoric trans people' are doing.
It's frustrating to me too. It's treating something that could have serous life long effects on your health like it's as safe and fun as trying out a new hairstyle or a new hobby, and that's not great for young people or people who will trust someone who speaks with confidence and authority on the topic. I feel like there's got to be a middle ground where trans people don't feel like everyone's going to prevent them from getting hormones they're sure about, but there's also an understanding of the potentially serious repercussions of hormones and puberty blockers.
Considering that being a 'tomboy' requires no medical treatment, it's probably a much better thing for a child that feels out of place in a gender sense than to tell them they're trans. Most kids who feel that way turn out not to be trans. Yes, this is a very uncomfortable tweet that assumes any deviance from a 50's style stereotype of womanhood means that the child is trans and that not telling them they are is cruel.
In terms of 'us vs. them', my SIL (identifies as nonbinary) and her wife (a trans woman) have a weirdly insular (mostly online) community, and what really stuck in my mind was when I unintentionally heard the wife say to my SIL (about her family) that they're 'all right for cis people.'
It is a bit culty.
You might be surprised to find who's been waiting for you to 'come back' from transitioning. You feel like you can't talk to anyone about it, and that's also true for anyone who had a lot of reservations about transition being right for you. The people who don't want to get into politics, or don't want you to cut off contact with them, or who have very conflicting feelings about transition, may be more supportive of you and your state of detransition, than you think.
It's a super tough place to be in, to be at a point in your life that is both difficult for other people to 'get' and not an easy, familiar narrative either. If you don't have a friend or someone else you feel you could talk to about this in depth, perhaps find a therapist--or a priest, or a hotline, etc., that you can talk to once and then see if you want to ever see them again.
People who love you will come through this thorny, awkward place with you. Sometimes, it takes time for the dust to settle and the pieces to fall back into place, but if someone really cares about you, they won't brush you off because you're in a tough spot. Remember why you're doing this and that you matter.
It is crazy to me how people I know, in person, can deny the potential dangers of some of the treatments. Like, my sister insisted that there were no negative side effects or potential complications of puberty blockers, that it was just 'putting puberty on pause' and that the only reason people would be against it is that they hate trans kids.
And she actually works to 'educate' people and run different trans groups.
I think that is part of the danger of how it is taught in schools and other settings: people who teach it or are taught it are not comfortable with questions or acknowledging potential or likely risks. People are not permitted to mention that most kids who feel uncomfortable with their sex tend to end up growing out of it, or that puberty blockers also block important development in the rest of the body, not just the gonads and superficial appearance. You also can't talk about the still very high risk of suicide for folks who have 'successfully' transitioned, or the potential for people mistaking trauma and other disorders for having gender dysphoria.
I think it would be all right to mention it if it was treated like any other topic and open for discussion and even disagreement. The problem is, it's not.
I have noticed this. I'm not a detransitioner, but I have a much milder sensitivity to both overstimulation and understimulation in a tactile sense, and when I wore leggings I just wanted to claw my skin off. I would say to my husband, 'Why do I have to have legs??' I started stealing my husband's shorts (a sports kind) and good lord, I was so happy. Some women's running shorts are also comfortably loose.
But my one sister questioned for a while if she was NB, and she has much stronger sensitivity to that kind of thing than me, and she dresses pretty masculine. She also is diagnosed as having Asperger's. She has a lot of online friends who have both Asperger's and came to identify as trans a couple years down the line. It just seemed like a really strong pattern at the time.