This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal Investment: They repeatedly reference their own transition and their partner's detransition, providing a consistent personal narrative.
- Nuanced Opinion: Their comments show complex, evolving thought on gender, dysphoria, and body modification, not just repetitive slogans.
- Natural Language: The writing style is conversational, includes personal asides ("lol," "my 2 centz"), and shows a genuine engagement with the topics.
About me
I was born female and transitioned to male with hormones and surgery, believing my discomfort was purely with my body. Through deep reflection, I realized a huge part of my struggle was actually with society's restrictive expectations for women. I now see I confused a desire to escape those gender roles with a need to physically change my sex. I don't regret my path because it brought me to this understanding, though I wish I had untangled these feelings sooner. I now live as a man but with the clear view that gender is a social construct, not a biological truth.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of things more clearly now. I was born female and I transitioned to male. I took testosterone and had top surgery. My partner also transitioned, from female to male, but she later detransitioned back to female. Our experiences were linked but very different.
For a long time, I believed my discomfort was purely about my body, specifically gender dysphoria. I hated my breasts and felt a deep unease with puberty. But through a lot of reflection, I’ve come to see that a huge part of my struggle was actually with the concept of gender itself—the roles and expectations society places on you because of your sex. I think I confused sex dysphoria, which is about the physical body, with being deeply uncomfortable with the stereotypes and limitations that came with being a woman. I wanted to escape that box.
I don't think my partner's detransition made me question my own path. If anything, me transitioning first is what made her start to question her own identity and eventually led to her detransition. It was hard watching her go through that, and it highlighted for me how personal and individual this all is.
I have a pretty strong opinion on the broader discussion around transition. I think a lot of people, maybe even me to some extent, are seeking a form of radical body modification. For some, it might be driven by a sexual fetish, like autogynephilia, where a person is sexually aroused by the idea of themselves as a woman. I don't think there's an inherent problem with an adult modifying their body for any reason, even a sexual one, as long as they are completely honest with themselves and understand it's a choice about expression, not a biological necessity. The problem is that right now, it's all lumped together under one umbrella of "transition," and that makes it really difficult to have honest conversations. We're so afraid of drawing lines that we can't talk about the different reasons people do this.
I benefited from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity. It helped me untangle my feelings about my body from my feelings about society's expectations. I don't have serious health complications from taking testosterone or from my top surgery, and I don't regret my transition in the sense that it got me to where I am now, which is a place of much greater understanding. But I do regret not having this clearer understanding sooner. I regret that I didn't fully separate my personal discomfort with gender roles from the idea that I needed to medically change my body to fit into a different set of roles.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social construct built on top of biological sex. The roles weren't created out of nothing—they have a history—but they are also often toxic and restrictive. It's natural for people to want to fluctuate and express themselves outside of those strict boxes. But that's a social and personal expression issue, not a biological one, and I think confusing the two can lead people down a path of permanent medical changes when what they really need is help coping with societal pressure or past trauma.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body during puberty, hated developing breasts. |
| 19 | Began identifying as non-binary as a way to explore my feelings outside of the gender binary. |
| 21 | Started socially transitioning to male, using a new name and pronouns. |
| 23 | Began testosterone hormone therapy. |
| 25 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 27 | My partner detransitioned (ftmtf), which prompted deeper reflection on my own journey. |
| 29 | Underwent non-affirming therapy which helped me understand the difference between social gender discomfort and body dysphoria. |
| 31 | Currently living as male but with a much more nuanced understanding of my own identity and the nature of gender. |
Top Comments by /u/sunagakurekazekage:
My partner is (social)detrans ftmtf and I'm ftm, just for frame of reference. I personally don't think anyone should be excluded from body modification though I find the problem is "that kind" of transitioning is that it is never labeled as such, body modification, for obvious reasons lol. The majority of fetishists understand the risks and negative social repercussion of "devoting your life to sex" so its way easier to jump on the hashtag suffering bandwagon then it is to change your body forever for the cause of being perverse when going down the walk of transitioning. Granted thats where my opinion separates. Provided that youre open and honest about exactly why you're presenting yourself differently to the world (dont gotta spill all your beans but theres a difference between wanting and having to) I don't see the difference or problem with someone wanting to be feminized (example) and wanting to tattoo your skin and modify your body to resemble an animal. I think expression is important and fine, and I think gender roles are very important to everyone's expression regardless of their understanding of that. Provided youre a grown adult and have spoken to a professional about why you feel inclined to do so, go for it. Fine. Be a sissy porn thing. The problem is, again, gender and sex hold much more biological merit then just expression. I think it gets generally lost in these kinda of discussions that gender roles weren't formed out of nowhere despite their toxicity. With that toxicity and strictness, of course comes fluctuation of expression, as with any cultural element in large populations, but that has completely to do with society and nothing to do with the way the body develops, which again, is fine, its just that everyone is at a weird stand still with each other because we're too afraid to draw the wrong lines. But yeah. Thats my 2 centz.
You def answered some of your own venting probs in what you posted. It sounds like your issue isn't with gender dysphoria but with the dysphoria that gender causes, if you will. Sex dysphoria is a different emotional influence (though from what you said it sounds like you have that as well) then being uncomfortable with conforming to gender roles.
Unfortunately you've gotten yourself into a medical community with few members as it is, and even fewer people in this subsection to date. Not to "transplain" (tho i love that phrase and im totally using it in the future genuine no offense lol) but I say this with confidence my detrans wife would concur. I'm sorry that you feel as though some people speak over you, or arent empathetic. i bet a lot of people dont mean it and i think your point, while surely valid, would better heard with specific solutions in mind
That sounds awful. I'm ftm and my partner is ftmtf, never did her detransition cause me to question myself, if anything my transition caused her to question herself. I'm sorry he's not being empathetic and that he is blaming you for his own insecurities.
I can see how that would be harmful in a lot of ways but only outer-community. With that being said, theres a lot of shit talked about cis vaginas in the same regard so maybe its a tit for tat thing? (Not helpful genuinely just maybe makes someone feel better)