This story is from the comments by /u/tabarnak555 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed anecdotes about their own detransition (e.g., specific timelines for physical and emotional changes).
- Consistent, nuanced opinions over a four-year period that align with a complex, lived experience (e.g., not regretting transition but acknowledging its difficulties, advocating for better care without outright bans).
- Empathetic engagement with others, offering tailored advice and support common in genuine support communities.
The passion and strong opinions expressed are consistent with a real detransitioner's perspective.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a kid and was diagnosed with dysphoria at 13, but my parents thankfully blocked a clinic referral. At 17, I pursued medical transition myself and was quickly given puberty blockers and then testosterone after very brief appointments, despite my history of serious mental health issues. The hormones initially helped my mood, but after a few years my dysphoria faded on its own, so I stopped testosterone. Withdrawing cold turkey was brutal and caused severe depression, but once I got through it, I finally felt more present and comfortable in my female body. Looking back, I needed deeper psychological support, not just fast-tracked medication, but I don't regret my transition as it was what I needed to survive at the time.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria at 13, but I was lucky that my parents refused a referral to a gender clinic back then. I didn't understand it at the time, but looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were just a normal part of puberty discomfort mixed with depression and anxiety. I had a lot of mental health issues and had even been in a psych ward a few times.
When I was 17, in 2016, I decided to pursue transition myself. I got a referral to a gender clinic. The process was incredibly fast. After just a 30-minute conversation with a doctor, I was put on Lupron, which are puberty blockers. Six months later, after another short 30-minute chat, I started taking testosterone. A year after that, at my third appointment ever, I got a referral for top surgery. I never saw a single psychologist or psychiatrist through all of this, despite my complicated mental health history.
Being on testosterone was a huge mood booster for me at first. It pulled me out of a really deep despair and I finally felt like I could start living. I liked the changes for a while. I was on T for about three or four years. But eventually, the dysphoria I had just went away on its own. I realized I didn't need to be on hormones anymore.
I decided to stop taking testosterone about two years ago. I quit cold turkey, which was a massive mistake. The withdrawal was horrible. For about six months, I experienced the worst depression and most unstable moods of my entire life. It was genuinely damaging to me emotionally and to my relationships. I think if I had tapered off with a doctor's help, it would have been much easier. But even with that awful period, once I got through it, I started to feel better. After about a year off T, I felt more present and in tune with my body than I ever had, even better than when I was on T. I was able to cry again, which was something I couldn't do on testosterone.
I had top surgery before I stopped T, and I don't regret that. I don't regret transitioning at all, actually. It was something I needed to do at the time to survive. At worst, I feel neutral about the permanent changes to my body, like the clitoral growth and my deeper voice. I still like my body after top surgery and being off T for two years. My body has changed back in a lot of ways. My skin cleared up, my face became more feminine again, and the body fat redistributed. The clitoral growth got smaller after about a year and a half off T. Now, if I shave my face, strangers perceive me as a man or a woman about equally. My legal name is still male and I don't really care to change it. The only person who knows I've detransitioned medically is my partner; I haven't done anything socially to change back.
For me, the big realization was that maintaining a trans identity wasn't sustainable in the long run. It felt like you either have to be openly trans and be seen as a freak, or you have to be stealth and live pretending to be someone you're not. I think that pressure eventually cracks everyone. I also came to see gender dysphoria as body dysphoria with extra steps. I understand why people want to draw a line between "true" trans people and people like me who detransitioned, because the idea that it could happen to anyone is scary. But the truth is, I experienced dysphoria the same way they did. It’s not always a lifelong thing, and for me, it resolved.
I think the medical system failed me by moving so fast. I needed real psychological help, not just a quick prescription. But I also don't agree with people who want to ban hormones completely. For a lot of people, it really is a positive thing. The answer is better, more thoughtful care, not just making people wait until they're older and miserable.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
My Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
13 | ~2012 | Diagnosed with gender dysphoria; referral to gender clinic refused by parents. |
17 | 2016 | Sought own referral to gender clinic; prescribed Lupron after a 30-minute doctor's appointment. |
17/18 | 2016/2017 | Started testosterone after another 30-minute appointment, six months after starting Lupron. |
18 | ~2017 | Received referral for top surgery at third gender clinic appointment. |
20/21 | ~2020 | Stopped taking testosterone cold turkey after 3-4 years of use. |
21 | ~2021 | Experienced the worst depression and mood instability during the first 6 months off testosterone. |
23 | ~2023 | Felt emotionally stable and better than pre-T, about 1-2 years after stopping hormones. |
25 | 2025 | Currently living medically detransitioned but socially male; no regrets about transition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/tabarnak555:
I generally dislike proposals to put an age limit above the age of majority (18) on surgeries/hrt bc I don't think it would actually help ppl in the long run. I just don't feel like ppl would see those requirements and seek therapy or alternatives, I think they would just wait it out utterly miserable and depressed from dysphoria and then the same rush through it all would happen, only 5-7 years later. At the end of the day that doesn't really help anyone. Imo a better alternative is to structure the path to surgery more with an actual care plan involving psychological help rather than kind of just looking for a top/bottom surgeon (at least that's how it is here). Not saying you don't advocate for this too but I just think adding an entirely arbitrary age minimum does more harm than good at the end of the day
The truth is we don't know long term effects on females bc it's still relatively new.
If you are newly on T (6m - 1yr) the brain fog and dysfunction may be temporary and you may balance out eventually. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it for you to wait for something that may or may not get better
For me quitting T did eventually lead me to being more present and in tune with my body than I was on T. But being on T itself was an improvement from how I was pre transition, so it's all relative
Puberty and development occur over a long period and start a different ages between individuals. It's normal to feel like other people are "ahead" of you, but they aren't, you are just developing on your own time.
If you have a trusted adult you could talk to (parents, doctor, therapist) I think it could be beneficial for you to help you figure yourself out. But overall, I would try to not stress about it. You're still young, and things will start to make more sense as you mature and grow
God these fucking transmed takes are so annoying.
When 'true' trans dysphoria is often indistinguishable from the 'fake' dysphoria detrans ppl experience, how are clinicians supposed to decide who the real ones are and who should get medical care because they definitely won't regret it later?
The truth is trans ppl try to draw these lines between detrans ppl and themselves bc they're terrified to become one of us. "Surely detrans didn't actually experience dysphoria like trans ppl did otherwise they never would have detransitioned!" It's not true. We experienced dysphoria the exact same way you did and we still detransed. It can happen to you too
You talk about women who've gotten mastectomies andor reconstructive surgeries with what feels like disdain. Getting these surgeries is rarely as simple as "chopping your tits off" or "getting fake tits". It makes it seem like you haven't had said surgery and just don't understand and are not willing to understand the loss associated at all 🤷♂️
I agree that some ppl here come fresh off surgery seeking another to "fix" it, but that is not the majority at all, and like it or not for some ppl getting these surgeries is a part of the healing process.
Yeah I have a similar thought to the other commenter. I don't regret my transition. At worst, I feel neutral about parts of my body that have been changed due to medical transition
While I understand why one might assume that detrans = regret, I think it's unfortunate to not even include an option for no regret
There is a depression phase when stopping T around 3-6mo off. It's a normal thing because T is an upper, but it will end and you will go back to your regular self.
Tapering off T can make it easier to go through and I recommend doing it with the help of a doctor if you can.
I personally had a really hard time coming off T and went insane, but when the withdrawal period was over I felt better than I did pre-T and while I was on T. You kind of just have to get through the depression phase.
Wish you best of luck
Why would he need to stop wearing feminine clothes?
Also from my understanding he is post-SRS and cannot stop taking hormones. Taking E instead of T is his choice and that could be questioned on some level, but it is not less effort than what he's doing now
As for the name 🤷♂️. I still go by my male name as it's my legal name and I don't really care
You do have at best a juvenile and unempathetic view of women who regret their mastectomies fyi, it bleeds through your every comment made on this post
The reason you are getting downvoted is not because people here disagree with your point inherently, it's because you're explaining and defending your points in a crass, annoying and unempathetic way.
Have a nice day 07
Coming off of T is emotionally difficult for several months - 1 year. In my experience, my lowest point was about 6 months in. Obviously it's different for everyone but I've heard from other women (and I experienced this as well) that you only really start feeling like yourself emotionally again after 1 year off.
The regret is unlikely to completely disappear, but hopefully emotions will be less intense, and you will be in a better headspace to process your transition.
Also I found that the effects of T came alot faster than the effects of stopping T. Your skin is likely to clear and return to normal. Fat redistributes itself slowly, your face will change shape towards something more feminine.
it does get better and easier. I wish you best