This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is internally consistent, nuanced, and reflects the complex, often alienating experience of being a desister (a feminine man with dysphoria who rejects transition) who holds left-leaning political views. The frustration expressed about not fitting into typical political camps is a common and genuine sentiment in the detrans/desister community.
About me
I'm a feminine man who started transitioning socially because I felt pressured to fit a masculine stereotype and thought I had to be a different gender. I realized I was just trading one set of stereotypes for another instead of solving the real issue, which was my lack of self-acceptance. I never medically transitioned, and I'm now thankful I didn't change my body to fix a problem in my mind. My journey led me to understand that being male doesn't dictate my personality, and it's okay to be a feminine man. I've found peace in knowing my body was never the problem.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in as a guy. I was a feminine boy who liked things that were considered girly, and I felt a lot of pressure to be more masculine. This caused me a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I started to believe that because I didn't fit the stereotype of a man, I must not be one. I think a lot of this was influenced by what I saw online, where the message was that if you don't identify with your birth sex, you must be trans.
I socially transitioned for a while. I asked people to use a different name and pronouns. It felt like an escape at first, like I was finally building an identity that made sense to me. But the deeper I got into it, the more I realized I was just trading one set of stereotypes for another. I was trying to solve the problem of not fitting in by becoming a different category of person, instead of just accepting that I was a man who was feminine.
I had a lot of discomfort with my body, especially during and after puberty. I hated the expectations that came with being male. I now see this as a form of body dysmorphia and general discomfort, not as a sign that I was born in the wrong body. I also struggled with internalized homophobia; I think part of me was uncomfortable with the idea of being a feminine, potentially gay man, and transitioning felt like a way to avoid dealing with that.
I never took hormones or had any surgery. I'm incredibly thankful for that now. I came to a point where I realized that changing my body wouldn't fix the problems in my mind. My thoughts on gender are that it's a social construct built around stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. I believe sex is biological—male and female—and that's just a fact of your body, it doesn't have to dictate your personality or interests. The goal should be to break down those stereotypes, not to medicalize people who don't conform to them.
I do have some regrets about my social transition. I regret the confusion I caused for myself and my family, and I regret the time I spent thinking the solution was outside of myself. I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to where I am now, which is a place of much greater self-acceptance. I'm a man, and I'm feminine, and that's perfectly fine.
It’s been isolating because the people who are critical of transgender ideology often hold other beliefs I don't agree with, so I feel like I don't fully belong anywhere. But I've found a lot of peace in finally understanding that my body was never the problem.
| Age | Date (if known) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 13-16 | N/A | Experienced intense puberty discomfort and anxiety over being a feminine boy. Low self-esteem. |
| 17 | N/A | Began to explore transgender identity online. Felt influenced by communities there. |
| 18 | N/A | Socially transitioned (new name/pronouns) as an attempt to escape discomfort. |
| 19 | N/A | Began to question the ideology, realizing it was reinforcing stereotypes I disagreed with. |
| 20 | Late 2020 | Detransitioned. Stopped using trans name and pronouns. Accepted myself as a feminine man. |
Top Comments by /u/takedownhisshield:
It's just unfortunate that a lot of trans-critical people are hateful towards transgender people, not specifically just the ideology. A lot of them are much more right-leaning and have other discriminatory beliefs (sexism, homophobia, etc), while I'm pretty sure most people here are more left-leaning.
It feels like we aren't welcome on either side.
I have two assumptions, I apologize if they aren't correct or anything though.
A girl being more masculine is a lot more socially acceptable than a guy being more feminine. So it sorta follows that FtM is figured to be more acceptable than MtF, even if by not a lot considering being transgender in general isn't very socially acceptable.
Because of the patriarchy, femininity is seen as weaker and masculinity is seen as stronger (this is one of the reasons 1 exists).
These are my guesses. Again, I apologize if I'm incorrect - I'm just a cis guy with a bit of dysphoria :)
I agree with everything you're saying.
Being masculine does not make you a man and being feminine does not make you a woman. I've always found those ideas to be incredibly sexist.
Being a feminine guy or a masculine girl is perfectly fine. Wear whatever you want, look however you want, etc. Just don't try to say you're a different gender.
I'm a pretty feminine dude. I tend to prefer femininity over masculinity, and I do sometimes experience gender dysphoria, which is a very real mental illness. But being trans is not the solution. You cannot change gender, and that shouldn't be of importance in the first place. It just sucks that decades of gender role enforcement exists.
No. I do believe gender and sex are different (gender = masculinity and feminity, sex = male, female), and that gender is a social construct and we should aim for a world where it is disregarded entirely.
So technically, you can change your gender by becoming more feminine or masculine, but it has nothing to do with your pronouns. Your pronouns simply denote what sex you are, nothing else. They have no bearing on who you are other than some sexual dimorphism.
The issue is, when someone says that female just means you have female sex organs and chromosomes and whatnot, people love to chime in with the "that's sexist/transphobic because you're defining women by their bodies", when in reality the point that at least I try to make is that, because sex is determined by something so little, it shouldn't be your identity in the first place. To reiterate, the point is that sex doesn't matter and you can be whoever you want to be.
I think another thing that can help is that a lot of the things associated with females don't have to only be done by females, like wearing makeup or having long hair and such. They aren't restricted to either gender, so you don't gotta force yourself to be masculine or anything you don't wanna do :)