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Reddit user /u/testyourreaction's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 12 -> Detransitioned: 19
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
puberty discomfort
anxiety
autistic
ocd
bisexual
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user shares highly specific, personal, and emotionally resonant details of their detransition experience (e.g., effects of testosterone, voice training, legal name changes, laser hair removal, dating). The writing style is consistent, nuanced, and shows a clear, multi-year personal journey, which is not typical of a bot or a bad-faith actor. The passion and occasional frustration expressed are consistent with the genuine experiences of this community.

About me

I started identifying as trans in high school because I felt like a freak who didn't fit in with other girls, and I thought becoming a boy was my only escape. My autism and OCD made me fixate on my gender, and I started testosterone at 17 hoping it would solve my depression and self-hatred. After two years, I realized it wasn't making me happy and only numbed my emotions, so I stopped at 19. The detransition was really hard at first, but my body changed back a lot and voice training helped immensely. Now at 21, I understand my journey was more about trauma and mental health, and I'm finally feeling more settled and connected to myself.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. It started from a really difficult place. In high school, I was ugly and awkward and had literally no friends. Boys weren't nice to me and called me slurs a lot, but the girls were absolutely relentless in more subtle ways that guaranteed I would never fit in. I already identified as trans back then, from around age 12 or 13. I had short hair and was visibly not straight, so I had a massive target on my head and was treated like a freak. I think that experience really contributed to me having internalized misogyny; I felt like girls treated me badly because I wasn't like them, which I took as proof that I must actually be a boy.

I'm autistic and also have OCD, and I think that played a huge role in everything. When I fixate on something, my brain goes into overdrive, and for a long time, that thing was my gender and my appearance. I had a lot of discomfort with puberty and I really hated my breasts. I started binding them, which I did all through puberty. I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism from depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I had this idea in my head of what I wanted to look like—a pretty, androgynous masculine person, like an anime character. I didn't literally think testosterone would turn me into Howl from Howl's Moving Castle, but that was the kind of aesthetic I was chasing.

I started taking testosterone when I was 17 and was on it for two years, until I was 19. I never had any surgeries. Being on T was a very numbing experience for me emotionally; I couldn't really cry or feel connected to my feelings. Physically, my voice dropped a lot, I grew some body and facial hair, and I experienced vaginal atrophy, which was really uncomfortable. I also started losing a little hair at my temples.

But eventually, I realized that medical transition wasn't making me happy or solving my deeper problems. I decided to stop taking T when I was 19. The process of detransitioning was hard. For the first year and a half, I felt like my life was over. My face felt weird and foreign to me; I didn't feel like I looked like myself anymore. I became hyper-focused on the changes, and because of my autism and OCD, I got really fixated on the anatomical differences between male and female skeletons. It became an unhealthy obsession.

Over time, things got better. My body changed back in a lot of ways. My face gradually started to look more like it did before T, though it's still pretty androgynous. My body fat redistributed to a female pattern, my body hair lightened up a lot, and the hair loss at my temples grew back. The vaginal atrophy reversed completely, which was a huge relief. My periods came back, though they're irregular, so I take birth control to manage them. My Adam's apple stayed, which I'm not thrilled about, and my brow bone is a little more prominent now, but it's not extreme.

I did a lot of voice training early on, which made an astronomical difference. My voice is still deeper and huskier than it was pre-T, but it’s a passing female voice now and no one ever comments on it. I also got laser hair removal on my face, which was painful but effective.

Socially, it was awkward. I felt like I had to go back to my birth name because my chosen name was very male, and it was causing confusion. I’m bisexual, and I was worried about dating, but it turned out to be a non-issue. My current boyfriend is straight and cis, and it was never a problem for him.

Looking back, I don't think my transition was really about gender. I think it was about trauma, social rejection, and my mental health conditions. I was trying to escape from being me. I do have some regrets about transitioning, mainly about the permanent changes to my body, like my voice and Adam's apple. But I also don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it anymore. Time has been the biggest healer. I'm 21 now, and I've been off T for two years. I feel much more connected to my emotions and generally more settled in my life. I don't really think about the fact that I was on T anymore.

Age Event
12/13 Started identifying as transgender.
17 Started taking testosterone.
19 Stopped testosterone and began detransition.
19 Began voice training and laser hair removal.
21 Present day; feeling settled and mostly at peace.

Top Comments by /u/testyourreaction:

16 comments • Posting since October 15, 2020
Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains how voice training helped her achieve a passing feminine voice after testosterone, and recommends consulting a professional.
10 pointsOct 11, 2022
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I think mine sounds fine after voice training - it certainly has never gotten me misgendered or the like anyways, and mine did drop pretty deep on T. I empathise a lot with what you're going through, I was obsessive about my voice for a few years - have you spoken to a professional at all? I had a couple sessions with two different teachers who had worked with detrans women before just to kind of get a gauge on how I sounded and found it helpful.

Sorry if this isn't much help - if you want to shoot me a message feel free. Hope you feel better soon

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains her decision to revert to her birth name due to social awkwardness, but advises others to keep their chosen name if they like it, noting potential pronoun confusion.
10 pointsNov 25, 2020
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I kind of felt like I had to go back to my birthname because I had a male exclusive chosen name and it made things really awkward for me socially unfortunately :( I think you should keep it if you like it though! Just be aware that it will probably lead to people asking your pronouns or some confused reactions, which isn't harmful but for me always felt kind of awkward/uncomfortable and like I was being singled out.

This will also probably depend on how androgynous or not you are though, I have an androgynous face and don't wear makeup so I'm more likely to get they/them'd anyways lol.

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) comments on her positive dating experiences as a detransitioned bisexual woman, noting her androgynous appearance and that her cis boyfriend and dating app matches were largely unfazed.
9 pointsMay 30, 2021
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I'm bisexual and my boyfriend is straight and cis - it was a nonissue for him, and even before I met him I was on dating apps for a while around six months or so after detransitioning (I took T for two years but had no surgeries but my face has ended up pretty androgynous I'd say - I definitely don't fall under any ideas of what conventional beauty is lol) and to be honest wouldn't ever really bring it up because I didn't feel like it was necessary after having a first conversation with someone....but I had no problem getting matched with men and women alike and the few I did mention it to were like "oh ok".

I don't think people care as much as you'd imagine :P

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) comments on how learning about anatomical skull differences after detransitioning has led to constant worry about her changed facial appearance.
7 pointsNov 20, 2020
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It probably is, I know I'm the person who wrote this crazy post in the first place LOL but I know the only reason I worry about this stuff is because I went on a deep dive after I detransitioned because I was like wtf why does my face look weird and now know the anatomy of the skull like the back of my hand. I was NOT aware of the differences between male/female skulls or skeletons to be honest (bar women's hips are bigger??) when I was trans so I legit never thought about it, but now that I know it's constantly on my mind. Knowledge is not power in this situation

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains the process of reverting her name and title on UK documentation, detailing a bank's initial refusal due to her passport photo and the simple requirements of ID and a deed poll.
6 pointsApr 25, 2021
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I'm UK and never changed my passport because I was lazy and was waiting for it to run out before I changed it and I don't drive so no license, but I did legally change my name - most of the stuff I had changed it on (e.g my doctors, at my bank, with various companies, etc) generally just required me asking them to change it back.

My bank needed my passport and my proof of name change but my bank were also really weird about it - they told me my passport photo which was literally a pre-T image of me "couldn't possibly be a female" because I...had short hair...?? So they were really weird about taking it as ID. This was when I changed my title at my bank (back to miss) before I changed my name and when I mentioned the issues I'd had changing my title the person who was helping me was really apologetic - I think I just got unlucky lol. It generally shouldn't be such a faff, the second person I talked to just looked at my name change document and ID and it was done in 5 minutes. The only thing I have yet to change it on is the company that deals with my school loans which I should...probably do.

Generally I've found you just need to bring a form of ID and then deed poll/statutory declaration/whatever for your name change. I've never been asked for a doctor's note. Hope this is of some help, sorry I can't help with the passport/driver's license.

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) comments on the common experience of taking testosterone with an idealized, androgynous-masculine anime character (like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle) in mind.
6 pointsJul 10, 2021
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Relate to a lot of this and could say more but honestly 100% relate to having an idea of what you wanted to look like and it being pretty/androgynous masculine. Like I really took T and was like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle Become Me. (if anyone is lurking and thinks this is insane it's not literal. i didn't think T would turn me into an anime character) I think it's a common experience to be honest.

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains how peer abuse from both boys and girls in high school, due to her gender non-conforming appearance and trans identity, contributed to her internalized misogyny.
6 pointsOct 15, 2020
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I was ugly and awkward in high school and had literally no friends - boys weren't nice to me and called me slurs (a lot) but girls were absolutely relentless in other ways that were more subtle but pretty much guaranteed I would never make friends. I already identified as trans in high school (I had identified as such from around 12/13) so I had short hair and was visibly gender non-conforming/evidently Not Straight so I just had a massive target on my head and was treated like a freak, to be honest. It definitely contributed to feelings of internalized misogyny/girls treat me badly because I'm not like them because I'm actually a boy/etc.

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains how time and patience, along with practical steps like voice training, helped her cope with jealousy and feelings of a "life over" after detransitioning.
6 pointsApr 4, 2021
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I felt like this for a long time after I detransitioned as well. I never had surgery so I can't offer much advice there - I am sorry you are going through something so painful with regards to regretting it though. What helped for me most of all was honestly just time, which is cliche and probably not much comfort in the moment, but after being off T as long as I was on it now I don't really think about the fact I was on it anymore, wheras for the first year/year and half into detransition I felt very similarly to how you feel (felt like my life was over) to how you describe here.

Besides that, there are some practical things you can do (I voice trained very early on which helped me) though I would stress not pushing yourself into these things early on - I think it might be easier to just let things settle down before diving headfirst into researching reconstruction or doing voice training.

I hope you're doing okay all things considered. This place exists to support you so of course don't be afraid to post here, but also if you have any kind of support system outside of here I would encourage you to lean on and talk to the people in your life just now if you can. All the best!

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) expresses joy and support for an OP's positive detransition update, recalling their early posts on the subreddit.
6 pointsNov 8, 2020
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I've been around on different accounts for privacy reasons so no idea if you'll recognise my username or not but I remember when you started posting here, so glad to hear from you and that things are going so well! All the best :) thanks for updating us, genuinely so good to hear from you haha

Reddit user testyourreaction (detrans female) explains that testosterone caused a permanent, slight enlargement of her eyebrow ridge bone, which did not revert after detransition.
5 pointsJul 28, 2021
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Mine grew on T a bit, it sticks out a bit more now but I don't have like...a really noticeable brow bone from the side or anything and it's nothing outside of what some women have anyways, it's just the actual ridge thing my eyebrows sit on sticks out slightly. I have a sloped forehead tho so it looks masc anyways lol. It didn't go back - it's bone that grows, so it's not going to shrink.