This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display:
- Personal, emotionally charged narratives with specific, believable life details (e.g., parental divorce, work history).
- Consistent perspective and identity as a butch lesbian and detransitioned woman across multiple posts over a year.
- Passionate, nuanced opinions that reflect the complex and often angry discourse within the detrans/desister community.
- Natural language with conversational tone, slang, and emotional inflection.
About me
I started wanting to be a boy as a kid because I thought it would make my dad love me again after he left. I grew to hate my female body and felt my womanhood was a curse that held me back in life. Online pressure made me believe I was trans, so I tried living as a man for a while, but it never felt right. I realized I didn't hate being a woman; I hated how the world treats women. Now I'm a proud butch lesbian, completely at home in my own skin, and I've learned to demand respect for who I truly am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a kid, not from a feeling of being born in the wrong body, but from a deep pain and a desire to escape the life I had. My dad was my best friend, but after my parents divorced when I was six, he slowly left my life. He remarried a woman with sons and it felt like he paid more attention to them than to me, his daughter. I think a part of me believed that if I were a boy, he would love me and care about me again.
As I went through puberty, that feeling twisted into something else. I started to hate my body. I hated getting my period and I hated that I was developing breasts. It felt like they were getting in the way of everything I wanted to do, like playing football. I saw the world treating boys and men differently, and it seemed so much better. They had more freedom, they got better jobs with higher pay, and people listened to them. I struggled to get hired for anything beyond retail and fast food, while my male friends were getting into trades and making good money. I felt like my womanhood was a curse holding me back. I started to believe that to have a better life, I needed to be a man.
For a while, I genuinely thought I might be trans. A lot of this was influenced by what I saw online, especially on places like Tumblr. There was this overwhelming message that if you were a girl who was masculine or a lesbian, you were probably actually a trans man. It felt like being a butch lesbian wasn't an option anymore. I also felt a weird pressure, like I was supposed to be attracted to trans women or I was a bad person. I had some trans women say really vile things to me when I turned them down, and it made my skin crawl. The whole environment made me feel like my identity as a lesbian was just a stepping stone to becoming a man, and that my kind was slowly being erased.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially for a short time, by changing my name and asking people to use different pronouns. But the whole time, it never felt truly right. It felt like I was putting on a costume to solve problems that were actually about other things: my dad abandoning me, the sexism I faced in the world, my low self-esteem, and the discomfort I felt with the changes of puberty. I was trying to escape being a woman because the world made it seem so hard.
I’m so glad I didn’t medically transition. My moment of clarity came when I realized I didn't hate being a woman; I hated how society treats women. I decided, fuck society. Fuck what men can do or say or be. I'm going to be me. And I am a woman. A butch lesbian. Now, I’m thankful for my body. I’m a big, intimidating butch and my wife clings to my arm in public. I can use that to protect her and other femmes from harassment. I finally feel at home in my own skin, not because I changed my body, but because I changed my mind. I stopped trying to become a man to gain respect and instead learned to demand respect as the woman I am.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to a place of complete self-acceptance. But I do regret that I ever felt I had to change myself to be valued. I benefited from stepping away from those online spaces and working through my issues, which were rooted in trauma and societal pressure, not in a true transgender identity. My story isn't one of being trans, but of realizing I was a butch lesbian all along and learning to love that.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | - | My parents divorced. My dad began to leave my life. |
| 10 | - | My dad completely left. He had remarried and was focused on his stepsons. I first remember wishing I was a boy so he would love me. |
| During Puberty | - | I started to hate my developing female body, specifically my breasts and getting my period. I felt it limited my freedom. |
| Young Adulthood | - | Struggled with employment, only finding work in retail/fast food while male friends found better jobs. Felt my womanhood was a professional curse. |
| - | ~2019 | Was active online, influenced by spaces that pushed the idea that masculine women/lesbians must be trans. Felt social pressure to identify as trans. |
| - | 2020 | Realized my desire to transition was based on trauma, sexism, and a desire to escape, not an innate identity. Stopped identifying as trans. |
| Now | - | Proud and happy as a butch lesbian. Fully accepted my female body and use my masculine presentation to feel powerful and protect my community. |
Top Comments by /u/the-last-valkyrie19:
I started thinking I was Trans in a similar fashion as you. Just the overall culture that anytime you act as the opposite sex you MUST BE that. Additionally, I felt almost threatened to find transwomen attractive. Let a few hit on me and say vile shit to me too. Made my skin crawl to let these ppl make me feel like I MUST love Transwomen or I'm a TERF, etc etc. Tumblr is a cesspool. Period. At this point I won't be shamed into thinking I should be a man and being a Lesbian is just baby steps into being that. Lesbians and butch women are slowly being erased and invalidated so much to me. I can't turn a corner anymore without finding another lesbian going Trans. I was shocked to hear Ellen Page come out as Trans. Mary Lambert, last I checked....girlfriend is now Trans. I wonder if she still calls herself a Lesbian? Hm.
My need/desire started pretty early. My dad was my best friend when I was a kid. My parents divorced when I was 6. My dad finally dipped at about 10. In between 6-10 my dad got re-married to a woman with two sons. You can guess he payed more attention to them than me. He had two daughters so, of course, to most all men we're a curse. I wanted to be a boy because my dad would give a shit again. Then, as I got older, it became boys can do things I want to do. Play football(which I did finally do) and not have boobs and periods getting in the way. Then again, got older, starting working: men get better paying jobs, more opportunities, and better pay. I knew dudes I was friends with working jobs that are male dominated knocking down hella money but me...? Retail. Fast food. No one else would hire me. Then I got into tech(took ages btw). Other men would listen to me. Take me more seriously. I'd just have a better life! I hated my womanhood because the world made me hate my womanhood. Now, fuck society. Fuck, what men can do or say or be. I'm gonna be me. And I am a fucking woman. Don't let them rip you from us. Lesbians are all disappearing. And it's sad.
I appreciate that. Thank you. But honestly it's okay now. I had to deal with a lot when it happened but once I got through it, it made me who I am today.
And holy shit. I'm thankful I'm a huge butch that my wife clings to when in public spaces. I'm just intimidating and "manish" looking to keep men away but a lot of femme couples don't get that luxury. Yall get asked for threesomes, told you're not valid and intruded upon. We gotta stick together. I've got any of my sisters backs. Any day.
I know this will come off as rude but you people seriously don't know that both males and females possess estrogen AND testosterone? And the reasons for this are different for each sex. Specifically, testosterone controls most of a woman's sex drive. Which means YEAH YOUR SEX DRIVE INCREASES.
That's painful to hear, friend. Regardless of anything. The best thing to do, is keep standing. Standing firmly. Find allies to stand with you. If we lived closer to one another, I'd be a butch to protect my little tomboy straight girl. I'm not entirely experienced with those feelings outside of being a Lesbian because I did fight for who I was and dressing masc just under the pretense of, "I am a Lesbian".
You're okay. Don't worry, it was just fair warning that most butches I know wouldn't be keen on you, a straight girl, in their space. Reason number one, butch women often encounter violence for being butch. That's something you'll never experience because you're straight and 'tom-boyish' (simply using straight terms for masc girls). A lot of drag kings are butches just like a lot of gay men are drag Queens. Those spaces arent explicitly for gay people, so you'd be fine there. However, I don't see a lot of drag king events, outings, etc anyways. Butches, again, are an often hated group by both women and men. I wish you all the luck and I wouldn't mind being a helpful butch ally to you. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions, concerns, etc. Maybe I can help you find a good group--research is Def my Forte...