This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over many months. They describe a deeply personal journey of transition and detransition, including specific timelines (e.g., starting at 22, being on T for 7 years), physical and emotional changes, surgical regret, and the nuanced process of social and medical detransition. The language is passionate and often raw, which aligns with the expected emotional state of someone who has experienced significant harm. The account shows no signs of a scripted or agenda-driven pattern that would indicate inauthenticity.
About me
I started transitioning at 22, believing becoming male would help me escape the pain of my past trauma. I was on testosterone for nearly seven years and had top surgery, which is now my biggest regret. I realized I had wasted my entire 20s living a life that wasn't mine and I deeply missed being a woman. I stopped everything last year and detransitioning has been painful but also a huge relief. I'm finally dealing with my real issues and learning to live peacefully as a female again.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was 22. I was really struggling with my mental health, especially after I was raped when I was 19. I had a history of depression and trauma, and I think that's a big part of why I latched onto the idea of transitioning. I thought if I could become male, I could escape being female and all the pain that came with it. It felt like a way to be safer and happier.
I started taking testosterone and I was on it for almost seven years. At first, it felt like a honeymoon phase, but that didn't last. I never really looked like a man my age; I’m small, only 5'1", and I always just looked like a young boy, maybe 12 years old. That was really hard. I got confused looks all the time and it made me feel like a liar. I hated the feeling of being dishonest whenever someone would call me "sir." I also started to feel a lot angrier and more on edge, which wasn't like my real personality at all.
A couple of years into taking T, I got top surgery. I thought it would cure my dysphoria, but it didn't. I just ended up with a different set of problems. Now I have to live with that permanent change for the rest of my life. The biggest regret I have is that surgery. I had healthy breasts and I got them removed. I grieve that loss deeply, especially when I think about the possibility of having children and not being able to breastfeed. It’s a horrible feeling.
My feelings about my sexuality also started to change while I was on T. I had always thought I was only attracted to women, but a few years in, I found myself becoming curious about men. I wondered what it would be like to be with a guy, to be held and feel safe. But I never felt comfortable calling myself a gay "trans man." It just didn't feel right to me.
By the time I was approaching 30, I had a moment of clarity. It felt like a bucket of cold water was splashed on my face. I realized I had wasted my entire 20s living a life that wasn't mine. I started to miss being a girl, my girlhood, and I felt a deep sadness for the person I used to be. I saw photos of my younger self and I had to mourn her. I decided to stop testosterone.
Detransitioning has been a slow and painful process, both emotionally and physically. But it’s also been a huge relief. I’ve been off T for a few months now and I’m already seeing changes. My skin is getting softer and clearer, my face is feminizing again, and I’m growing my hair out. People sometimes call me "ma’am" on the phone without me even trying. It feels good to feel more like myself again.
I don’t regret detransitioning at all. I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I feel free from the constant paranoia and strategizing I had to do just to get through a day. I can go for a walk and just enjoy the wind in my hair without overthinking how I’m being perceived. My family has told me they see me smiling more and that my energy is lighter and happier.
I do have a lot of regrets about transitioning, especially the surgery. I wish I had dealt with my underlying trauma instead of trying to change my body. I now see that my gender dysphoria was a manifestation of that pain, not its cause. I benefited from stepping back and re-evaluating my life without the pressure to affirm an identity that wasn't truly me.
I don’t hate anyone or any group, but I am frustrated with how accepted it is to encourage people to medically transition without looking at the root causes. I also can't stand the pressure to always use certain language or you'll be called a bigot. I never cared when people "misgendered" me because I believe people are entitled to perceive you based on reality.
Now, I’m just trying to live as a female again. I wear padding sometimes to feel more proportional, but I’m also learning to be okay with being flat. I’m focusing on rediscovering who I am, my hobbies, and what I want out of life. It’s a journey, but for the first time in a long time, it feels like my own.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Experienced sexual assault (rape). |
| 22 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 29 | Stopped testosterone after nearly 7 years. |
| 29 | Began social and physical detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/thebestdeskwarmer:
Dear God, I needed this years ago :( but it is what it is now and I'm relieved this is going to be implemented. We need to protect people from creating more trauma whether they like it or not. People have been pursuing surgery and 'mones now more than ever and it leaves me genuinely concerned
I forget which thread it was, but something that infuriated me on the other detrans sub was someone who told a detrans woman that she's technivally a trans woman now. Like wtf? Just... no, lol
I mean, I get the point the were trying to make, since the detransition process can be very similar, but to actually label her a "trans woman" is fucking offensive, ridiculous and flat out incorrect Consider me officially fatigued.
100% why I never cared when my family and relatives would always still use she/her when referring to me. I'm not going to gaslight someone and hold a gun to their head on account of my own issues. People are entitled to how they perceive others and what they associate others with.
I remember one time at work I answered the phone from someone with a very deep, husky voice and their profile in our database said "Mr." , so... I referred to them as "Mr" (looking back, I probably should have just stuck with saying their name only). They aggresively corrected me and loudly said "why are you calling me that? I'm a ma'am". I actually felt really bad and apologized. But there wasn't a way I could've known and they were still pissed throughout the rest of the call. Your post def gave me a flashback of that just now lol
I haven't used social media besides reddit for years now, but I remember all the gender-affirming surgery gofundme's on twitter and whatnot. If I'm being honest, most of the people posting these things and whining about their oppression online all day needed their privilege checked fr. And for the people who were actually in a bad state of financial affairs, they should've prioritized that instead of transitioning and chasing surgery. But I've also been mentally ill for most of my life, so I can see how people fall into a negative ideaology and stay complacent in themselves. Anyway, I'm happy to hear you've moved along! I can imagine it feels better now that the blinders are off and you're free to think and live for yourself now :)
"TERF" = Telling Everyone Reality Frankly
Lol but fr, I feel nothing from the people unironically using that term. You have to be sub-40 IQ to not be able to see why and how actual females are being appropriated and, once again, put at risk for more violence. We live in a society where weak men feel entitled to piss in our bathrooms and locker rooms and get angry at us for not being comfortable with it. Men are "supposed" to be the protectors of society, and yet, they're opting for a degenerate lifestyle instead of doing that. Girl/womanhood really is more like an outlet of fantasy and escapism to them
At least when I was trooning out, I never had the entitlement or pride to claim that I was a real man. Because I wasn't. They'll label this thinking as "internalized transphobia" and I'm like, well... is reality-checking yourself that bad? I mean, we need to start bringing just a pinch of shame back. I just get second-hand embarrassment and worry when I look at trans people now. You can simulate the opposite sex all you want, but it will never be the real and authentic thing. I would say my time as a "trans guy" was similar to a male experience, but I wouldn't ever say I lived as a real male, it was just simulated through hormones and a change of outward appearance. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to being in the trans community again. I'm gonna keep highlighting the patterns and hypocrisy I've recognized, regardless of how they perceive me
You're gorgeous and you have very feminine features!! I wouldn't sweat it too much, but I know how it feels to have your confidence zapped away for a while. To me, you look like an entirely different person in the first photo, so it shows how far you've come. You look very soft and approachable in a way
Lowkey yeah. It always felt like I was walking on eggshells; people are so quick to project their feelings especially onto someone doubtful and struggling. Personally I met a lot of narcissist types and didn't feel like a lot of people cared to actually support each other outside of hyping each other up in in the comment section of their selfies (just highlighting this since so many trans people say they're inclusive mental health advocates and this and that...). Of course I won't refer to the "community" as a monolith but unfortunately most of my experiences with them have been suffocating and shallow. If I had a child who was sucked into the same types of online spaces I'd be concerned as hell
Your post hit the nail on the head for me.
It's not about the appearance at all; it's about the fact that I needlessly harmed myself permanently. I thought I was protecting myself after sexual trauma, but in doing this I only did a grave disservice to myself. The most obvious function of breasts is keeping precious infants nourished and fed. Not being able to do that for my child hurts more than anything in the world. In both relationships and in motherhood, I'm constantly at war with the fact that I am always lacking something that other women naturally have/can provide. I had them, they were healthy, and I had them guillotined amidst my distress and confusion.
If I'm being honest I still might get a subtle/modest reconstruction in the future. But whether it happens or not, it's important to not hurt ourselves further and stay endlessly tortured by regret. We made a mistake, and even if this one was extreme, it happens. And unfortunately, it will likely continue to happen to others. And we should have compassion and optimism for them, too. I had my top surgery at 22, and although this is a far-fetched line of thinking, I often remind myself that there are people who have experienced life-changing accidents or who have already passed away by that age. I should be grateful to be alive, even if it hurts.
If anything, the main positive I see in this is that it did end up bringing me closer to my faith in God. I know that's not everyone's thing, but it works for me and I find the idea of restoration in the afterlife to be very comforting, at least.
Sorry for the long response, I could yap about this topic til my hands cramp lmao
Exactly. It always bothered me to hear mtfs or whatever talk about wishing they were fertile in the same way a woman is. Periods for example were mildly traumatizing to me to the point that birth control and T became desirable since it paused the pains. Female anatomy and its functions are beautiful, but they fucking hurt and hinder everyday life. Yet mtfs will gaslight women and say it's not that bad, or that they could handle the pain, it's worth it to be an abomination, "scientists agree that trans women are women!!" (yes, some dude used this as an argument recently). It's just cope after cope. It's genuinely psychotic and so disconnected from reality.
And omg the breastfeeding thing... Like congratulations, hormones gave you tits and some milk comes out of them, but you're still not a woman and it's so unfair to trick your child into thinking you're his second mom! I have to wonder how these children will feel when they grow up and potentially realize that they got breastfed and raised by a man blasting estrogen into this system. Or maybe these kids will grow up believing it's normal biology, who knows. Honestly it makes me sad, what what can you do, really. These people are willing to do anything to protect their fragile daydream
I mean, sure? Tell us why someone born with chronic conditions shouldn't take priority over someone with "gender dysphoria" when it comes to seeking medical care? It's largely known by now that quacks in the US will happily let their patients pursue hormones/surgery despite them occupying an otherwise healthy body. All you have to do is tell them you have dysphoria and you're good to go. Rofl