This story is from the comments by /u/thedetransaccount that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed anecdotes about their own detransition (FTMTF), including specific medical and emotional experiences.
- Consistent, nuanced viewpoints that align with common detransitioner perspectives, such as exploring trauma as a root cause of gender dysphoria.
- Empathetic engagement with others, offering tailored advice and sharing personal resources (e.g., a voice clip).
- Complex reasoning that shows a deep, long-term personal investment in the subject matter, which is difficult to fake.
The passion and strong opinions expressed are consistent with a genuine detransitioner who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I am a female who started identifying as trans in my late teens due to trauma from abuse, as my mind sought safety by becoming male. I took testosterone for two years, but my social dysphoria never fully went away. Through therapy focused on my past, I discovered my transition was a symptom of my search for safety and love. I have now completely detransitioned and live happily as a woman, with all my dysphoria gone. I deeply regret transitioning and believe I needed to address my trauma first.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was deeply tied to trauma and trying to find a way to feel safe. I was born female, and I started identifying as trans in my late teens. Looking back, I can see that a lot of my desire to transition came from being sexually abused as a child by a man. My dad was also very aggressive and intimidating, which added to it. I think my brain, without me even realizing it, came up with a solution: if I were a man, I would be strong and safe. It wasn't a conscious thought, but a deep, unconscious drive.
I never had much physical dysphoria before I started thinking about transition. My discomfort was almost entirely social—it was about how other people saw me and the roles I was expected to fit into as a woman. I also experienced what some call autoandrophilia; there was a sexual component to the idea of being male that felt empowering at the time, but I now see it was likely my brain's way of trying to avoid the vulnerability of female sexuality after the abuse. For a while, I even identified as asexual.
I took testosterone for about two years. I didn't get any surgeries, which I'm now incredibly grateful for. While on T, some of the dysphoria lessened, but it never really went away. After I stopped hormones, I spent another two or three years going back and forth, unsure if I had made the right choice by detransitioning. I was really torn up about it.
What ultimately helped me was a lot of deep thinking and therapy that focused on my past, not just affirming my current feelings. I had to reverse-engineer my feelings. I asked myself why I wanted to be a man and kept asking 'why' until I got to the root of it: a search for safety and love that was missing from my childhood. I also had a few experiences with psychedelic drugs before all of this that helped me become more introspective and open to questioning my own mind, which later made detransition possible for me.
Now, I live completely as a woman again. All of my dysphoria is gone. In fact, after detransitioning, I went through a period of what I can only describe as euphoria—a real appreciation for my female body and identity. Nobody knows I was ever trans unless I tell them. I have no regrets about detransitioning, but I do have regrets about transitioning in the first place. I wish I had understood the root causes of my feelings earlier. I think my transition was a symptom of deeper psychological issues, not a condition in itself. If I had worked through my trauma first, I could have avoided a lot of pain.
I strongly believe that for many people, especially those with a history of trauma or abuse, transition is a mask for something else. I benefited immensely from non-affirming therapy that challenged me and helped me look into my past. I think everyone should try that before taking any permanent steps.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | First started questioning my gender and feeling uncomfortable as a woman. |
| 19 | Began socially identifying as a man and using a male name. |
| 20 | Started testosterone (T) therapy. |
| 22 | Stopped taking testosterone after roughly 2 years. |
| 22-25 | Period of uncertainty, going back and forth about retransitioning. |
| 25 | Fully detransitioned and began living as a woman again after therapy. |
| 26 | All feelings of gender dysphoria were completely gone. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/thedetransaccount:
It isn't going to reach anybody that needs it. People who are deep into gender ideology are definitely just going to think "see, detrans is a bigoted misinformation-spreading group out to shut down our freedom and love and all the good things" and it's going to push them further away from help.
Putting the sticker over the top is the problem as I see it. Put it in a free space. If you genuinely want to help people, you have to be kind to them otherwise they won't listen.
This is why preaching "you're all sinners and going to hell, repent now" in the street doesn't work. It's why aggressive angry protestors at universities come off unhinged. If you are mean, your message gets completely ignored even if it's good. If you have a message and you're not just a triggered angry person and you genuinely want to help, be kind.
You mentioned that you might be traumatised. I don't know in what way, but if you are a young bio girl and have been traumatised in some significant way, I would strongly strongly recommend waiting on the top surgery as long as you can until you have worked through the trauma.
The brain works in really abstract ways. There is not enough weight put onto the idea that sometimes gender dysphoria is a symptom of something else, rather than a condition in itself. An example I always use is the very well accepted fact that some girls who have been sexually abused will end up gaining weight and making themselves "unattractive" because there is something inside them telling them "if I am ugly, they will not want me." They don't consciously think this, they just grow up wondering why they have become fat and then through therapy might discover it. This is very well accepted in psychology, but nobody really talks about the fact that this happens with gender as well. A tonne of detrans people report the same thing. I feel like there is a correlation between "has been traumatised in some way" and "I want to reject the fact that I am a girl"
In general there's also a lot of evidence that most kids who struggle with gender will improve and stop feeling that way if just left alone. You're only 18 so I feel like it might be relevant.
If you are having doubts now, I really think you should postpone. From a detrans perspective, having doubts is not just an illusion that you're supposed to push through, it's a serious red flag and we believe you should pay attention to it. You mentioned also, not wanting to let down the people who have accepted you as trans - if they love you, they will accept you no matter what, even if you have doubts or move to presenting in a different way.
Personally I believe there is nothing wrong with having top surgery if it's really what you want and will make you happy without regrets, but I do also think that if you are having doubts and you experienced love or acceptance for your body, that is the desirable and healthy feeling, not the opposite. I believe you should give yourself some time to explore that feeling rather than pushing it away.
The last thing you want is for that to come back, but after the surgery. This is what the detrans experience is and it's a very real possibility for you, given these doubts. You can come back to the top surgery any time you want, it will always be there as an option for you, but if you're feeling like there's any chance you might regret it, please give yourself the space to explore that first.
I really hope it works out for you ❤️
Here are the things in myself that I feel were red or yellow flags in hindsight:
Having been sexually abused in childhood. I truly think that, if this applies to any person who is considering transition, they should immediately postpone as long as tolerable and try therapy to see if the issue is actually related to this and not some innate gender discrepancy. I think psychological issues that essentially cause your unconscious mind to feel unsafe or frightened in your birth gender can manifest as gender dysphoria. E.g. "if I were a boy, I would be strong and safe." Obviously people don't consciously think this literally, but I think this general premise can underpin a lot of our surface desires to transition.
Not having any physical dysphoria, only having "social" dysphoria. The desire to transition being entirely or almost entirely to do with other people, specifically how other people view you. Yes this is a part of transition, but if it's actually all of it, I think this can be an indication that the desire to transition comes from alternative psychological issues.
Autogynephilic or autoandrophilic feelings. People like to pretend these two things don't exist, but they clearly do. People even willingly self-identity as this. I definitely used to feel a sense of autoandrophilia. I also felt asexual at points. I came to a conclusion that due to my abuse, my brain had really tried to avoid female sexuality through these means. I think if a decent portion of the desire to transition is motivated by sexual gratification, the decision might not last and you might end up detransitioning.
Not particularly feeling body dysphoria in relation to gender, before actually deciding to think about transition.
Having been quite feminine/masculine for a long period of time without feeling dysphoria, before transition.
Mummy/daddy issues. Obviously a lot of people have these so I'm not saying they're exactly a cause, but I think if the opposite sex parent has particularly shamed or humiliated you, or has made you feel very inadequate and worthless, this can manifest in some problems with identity and maybe gender.
General identity problems/potential BPD type symptoms. If you are someone who has struggled a lot with other aspects of your identity, feeling like you don't exist, or that you don't have an identity, or that your identity changes really frequently, this could be a potential flag.
Other things I can think of that didn't apply to me, but could apply to others:
Simply being gender non-comforming and feeling rejected and ostracised by society for it. I think this causes some people a lot of misery, so much so that they see the solution as transitioning genders to fit in more with expectations.
Any kind of sense that you would actually feel okay with your body, if it were simply a different body of the same gender.
Hope it helps in some way, good luck with whatever you decide.
I didn't take acid whilst transitioning, but I did before, and the kind of things I learned and experienced while tripping really helped me a lot to become a certain type of person, who was then later able to detransition. If it wasn't for the LSD experience, I wouldn't have become that person at all.
I totally agree with this. I feel like gender dysphoria in most cases is a symptom of something else, rather than a condition in itself.
It's almost always buried under layers and layers of unconscious feelings that started in childhood. There's always a link too. It's like a puzzle. When an adult has the same recurring or continuous psychological issue, it's usually because of some related past experiences.
For me and for a lot of people here it seems, mine was related to being sexually abused by a man as a child. It's also my dad, who was very aggressive and intimidating. To be honest, there are a lot of people who start feeling this way because of bad experiences with prominent male figures in childhood, so that is a good starting point for anyone looking to find out why they have gender dysphoria.
You can also work backwards. Take the thought "I want to be a man" and kind of reverse engineer it.
Why do I want to be a man? So I can X Why do I want to X? Because I feel Y. Why do I feel Y? Etc.
It's also really useful to try to think about the very first time you felt like this (or the earliest you can remember) and just investigate what was going on around you at that time. Basically, what things happened at that time that could have caused this? Look for negative things, because it's almost always the negative/trauma, but in theory it could be positive too, some positive association. Idk.
Brains make these interesting links and sometimes keep them a secret and uses them to fuel your deep desires.
"I am sad because daddy does not love me. He loves my brother more. Love is for boys. Perhaps if I'm a boy, I will be more loved."
Transition = love.
"I was abused and it's very painful. My 3 brothers never got abused. If I were a boy, I would be safe."
Transition = safety.
"My mother adored my sisters, but made me sleep in the attic and treated me like I was a monster. If I were a girl, I wouldn't be a monster."
Transition = respect.
I truly think in almost all cases, it's something like this. Being trans isn't just an identity, it's a psychological problem imo. That's not to say I don't believe anyone should transition if they feel it's the only way forward, but alternative interventions should really be presented to people so they can actually choose, but right now it's just "you have gender dysphoria? Let me affirm that immediately and get you on hormones and surgery" which I think is wrong because clearly there are alternative options for people to try if they want to.
It's hard to say if they downvoted because they just hate detransitioners (not exactly an uncommon view) or if they downvoted because of the last sentence, and specifically the use of the word mutilation.
Not all trans people hate detransitioners, but almost all would object to the use of that word, because to them it's not mutilation, even in underage people, to them it's life saving surgery. Further than that, I think most trans people would regard anyone who refers to it as mutilation to be transphobic and bigoted, and anyone they view as transphobic is likely to be downvoted regardless of whether they're detrans or not.
I completely agree with you btw, it's terrifying and creepy that we're performing this on children. I'm so sorry that happened to you 😔 I really hope you can find peace. I'm also struggling.
What do you mean by the group you transitioned with? Like people you knew, or just generally the cohort of people who transitioned 10 years ago? I'm just curious about where you found the statistics and also about countries where the whole transition is paid for.
Also how fast were you able to complete the steps of transition, if you don't mind my asking? Did the medical system there assist with your detransition too?
I'm in the UK and we do have the NHS but it takes a really long time so a lot of people go private.
I agree yeah. I think there were hardly any studies back then. There are still pretty few now. There's no way to know how many people detransition and for what reasons. People who regret the transition and want to quietly go back and are ashamed aren't going to volunteer for studies in the first place, it's so skewed.
I feel this is basically true for any similar reaction. The more identified you are with something (the more you have taken it as part of yourself), the more hostile you will get when it's under attack.
People hurt most when you attack self. If you said to most people "I think your shorts are ugly" it's not going to cut very deep and they'll probably not feel much of a reaction because rarely people view clothes as an extension of self. "Your face is really ugly" stings more because it's definitively part of self.
So whenever you're up against someone who is really hostile and upset and mean, it's basically just them saying "I'm feeling scared that part of me is under attack or scrutiny." Anger is derived from fear/threat.
Definitely look female, 100%
I hope it's not a rude comment, but are you padding your hips? I'm only asking because in some of the pictures it looks like it, but if you're not I'm deeply sorry. If I was padding I'd want to know if it looked like I was, so that's my motivation for asking rather than any bad intentions.
It's not just your hips that make you look feminine though, like your whole body from these pictures looks unmistakably female ☺️