This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the analysis of the provided comments, the account "thistle_ev" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags indicating this is a bot, a fake account, or that the user is not a genuine desister/detransitioner. The comments display:
- High Emotional Specificity: The user shares deeply personal, emotionally charged, and specific details about their transition, detransition, medical history, and ongoing struggles (e.g., grief over mastectomy, issues with legal documents, family reactions).
- Internal Consistency: The narrative is consistent over time, detailing a timeline from identifying as trans to realizing it was a mistake, stopping testosterone, and navigating the difficulties of detransition in a conservative country (Russia).
- Complex Personal Reflection: The user provides nuanced reasons for their initial transition (autism, hyperfixation, misogyny, trauma) and the painful process of detransition, which aligns with known experiences shared by others in the community.
- Contextual Engagement: Comments are responsive to others' posts, offering advice, empathy, and sharing relevant personal experiences that fit the context of the discussions on the subreddit.
The account's passion, anger, and detailed personal history are consistent with a genuine individual who has experienced significant harm from transition and is now navigating the challenges of detransition.
About me
I started transitioning at 15, a deeply troubled girl who felt she didn't fit in, and I was quickly approved for testosterone and surgery as soon as I turned 18. I thought becoming a man would fix my self-hatred, but it only caused me physical damage and deeper depression. I finally realized it was a terrible mistake and stopped everything, accepting that I am a woman. Now, I am left with permanent changes, deep regret, and a body that doesn't feel like my own. I am trying to heal and move forward, but I am grieving the woman I could have been.
My detransition story
My journey into transition started when I was just 15 years old. I was a deeply troubled teenager, struggling with autism, ADHD, OCD, and severe depression and anxiety. I hated myself and my body, and I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, especially as a girl. I was also dealing with the aftermath of a sexual trauma I experienced when I was 10 or 11, which made me terrified of growing up and becoming a woman.
I found my escape online, in transgender communities. I became completely hyperfixated on the idea of being trans. I spent all my time researching it, watching videos, and looking at pictures. I was convinced that all my problems were because I was born in the wrong body. The people online told me that my self-hatred was actually "gender dysphoria" and that the only way to be happy was to transition. They said things like "a living son is better than a dead daughter," which made me and my family believe that I would kill myself if I didn't get hormones and surgery.
I started socially transitioning at 15, cutting my hair short, wearing a binder 24/7, and trying to act like a boy. I even stopped letting myself wear or do anything feminine. I entered university at 18 as a fully transitioned guy, living in "stealth," meaning no one knew I was born female.
When I turned 18, I immediately pursued medical transition. I lived in Russia, and while transitioning as a minor was illegal, the second I turned 18, I was able to get everything I wanted very quickly. I saw a doctor named Svetlana Kremenitskaya. In a single 15-minute appointment, she approved me for testosterone, ignoring my pre-existing autism diagnosis and other mental health issues. She just took my word for it when I said I was a man. I paid a lot of money for that approval; it felt like a successful business for them, not healthcare.
I started on weekly testosterone injections and later switched to Nebido, which is an injection every 12 weeks. I was on testosterone for three years. Just a few months after starting T, when I was 18, I also had a double mastectomy (top surgery). I had a keyhole procedure, so I don't have big scars, but my breasts were completely removed. I was so obsessed with the idea of being a "perfect trans guy" that I didn't even stop to think about what I was doing. I was a mentally ill teenager, and the doctors didn't care.
For a while, I thought this was the solution. I passed 100% as a male. But the happiness never came. Instead, the testosterone started to damage my body. I developed cysts on my ovaries, my period stopped completely for three years (which is very unhealthy), and I started losing my hair, getting a receding hairline. My voice dropped permanently. I became more and more depressed. I cried because even after the surgery, I still didn't look the way I wanted to in my head. I now realize that what I had wasn't gender dysphoria; it was body dysmorphia and a deep hatred for myself that no surgery or hormone could fix.
At the end of summer in 2024, I started having doubts. I felt a deep sadness for the years of womanhood I had missed. These thoughts got worse and worse until I couldn't sleep. I felt like transition had only given me pain and more hatred for my body. It all came to a head in November 2024 when I attempted suicide and was taken to a psychiatric hospital.
After I got out, I kept thinking that transition was a huge mistake. I got my last testosterone shot in December 2024. By January 2025, I finally accepted the truth: I had never been a man. I was a woman all along. In February, I came out to my family, my fiancée, and my friends as a detransitioner.
Thankfully, my family was incredibly supportive and happy to have their daughter back. They switched back to she/her pronouns, though they sometimes slip up out of habit. I started embracing my femininity for the first time. I bought female clothes, bras, and accessories. It felt amazing to finally be honest with myself.
But the aftermath of my transition is a daily struggle. I have so many regrets. I mourn the loss of my breasts every single day. I found my old bras at my mom's house and cried because I have nothing to put in them. I wear bras with silicone forms now, but it feels like I'm a cross-dresser, a fake woman. I will never be able to breastfeed my future children, and that grief is overwhelming.
My voice is permanently deep, and I have to shave my face every day. My hairline is receded. I am stuck with male documents because my country, Russia, banned all legal gender reassignment in 2023. This makes my life terrifying. I present as female, but my ID says male. I can't see a gynecologist, I get called slurs like "faggot" by strangers, and I'm scared of worse violence. I have to save a huge amount of money to hire a lawyer to fight this in court.
I now see that my desire to transition was driven by many things: internalized misogyny and homophobia (I'm a lesbian), the pressure of gender stereotypes, my mental illnesses, and the trauma I experienced. I thought being a woman was gross and that becoming a man would be an escape from sexism. The internet filled my head with the idea that being a woman is disgusting and that transition was just an "experiment," not a serious, permanent change.
I benefited from stopping all "affirming" care. My body is healing now that I'm off testosterone. My natural estrogen levels returned to the female range on their own within a few months, and my period came back. Even though it's painful, I'm happy about it because it means my body is working correctly again.
I don't blame my family; they were scared and manipulated by doctors. I blame the doctors who saw a mentally ill, autistic teenager and gave her exactly what she wanted without a single question. When I went to detransition, that same doctor asked me multiple times if I was sure, which felt like a sick joke. They were so quick to give me testosterone and surgery, but so hesitant to help me return to my biological sex.
My thoughts on gender are now simple: I am a biological female. Sex is real and cannot be changed. "Gender identity" feels like a harmful concept that reinforces stereotypes. I believe that most young people who want to transition are actually struggling with other issues like I was—autism, trauma, depression, body dysmorphia, or internalized homophobia—and they need therapy, not hormones and surgery.
I don't regret detransitioning for a second; it was the best decision of my life. But I deeply, painfully regret ever transitioning. It has left me with a body I hardly recognize, serious health complications, and a pain that I think will always be with me. I am trying to move forward, to embrace being a woman again, but it is a hard road filled with grief for the girl I was and the woman I could have been.
My Transition/Detransition Timeline
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 10/11 | ~2014 | Experienced sexual trauma. |
| 15 | 2020 | Began identifying as transgender (FTM), started social transition and binding. |
| 18 | Early 2023 | Started testosterone therapy (injections). |
| 18 | Mid 2023 | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| 20 | End of Summer 2024 | First serious doubts about transition emerged. |
| 20 | November 2024 | Suicide attempt, hospitalized in psychiatric facility. |
| 20 | December 2024 | Received last testosterone injection. |
| 21 | January 2025 | Fully accepted I was not transgender and began detransition. |
| 21 | February 2025 | Came out to family and friends as a detransitioned woman. |
| 21 | April 2025 | Menstrual cycle returned naturally. |
Top Comments by /u/thistle_ev:
yes, and it's so funny how they claim that their "vaginas" look just like real vaginas. Like, thanks, I have one, and I'm dating a woman, and your hole between your legs looks nothing like our genitals. Moreover, we don't need to put things inside our vaginas to prevent its healing because it's simple a wound.
it looks disgusting and terrifying both during the suture healing process and after the healing, too. And I'm not even talking about phalloplasty, it looks even more disgustingly🤦♀️ especially these huge scars on their hands or hips! How can they believe that their piece of meat sewn on their sewn-up vaginas look like male dicks?
yes. I also fucking hate this culture, it's not just jokes, it's them being so obsessed with their transness that they project it on others.
moreover, a lot of trans people claim to be against gender stereotypes and stuff, that clothes are just clothes and that clothes and makeup have no gender, but whenever they see a gender non-conforming person they begin to joke about how their egg must crack soon.
I came back to supporting GC feminism and I met a lot of masculine looking women who share similar stories, especially those who are lesbians. One girl shared a story about how she was meeting some girls with her gf and these girls (who turned out to be nonbinary, genderfluid, whatever lol) began to talk about how they're a "queer straight couple" (whatever the fuck that means) and how the masculine one is probably going to start testosterone very soon. they'll obviously never tell a feminine looking woman that she's going to identify as a guy in her near future, but when they see a butch lesbian or a feminine guy they start this nonsense about their mythical transness in denial.
YES
I remember how Hunter Schafer (MTF model and actor) wrote that his gender was influenced by a need to be used by men 🤮 later, I found a whole compilation of MTF influencers and their sayings about wrote womanhood means to them. They all wrote about how they want to be treated like sluts and patriarchal housewives, because that's "feminine" and it gives them gender euphoria. These assholes just promote patriarchal ideas and nobody can judge them openly because "that's their personal feelings, you can't forbid people to feel a certain way".
the same delusional and -phobic lie as 41% of trans suicides that conservatives like to use, but trans activists say that "it's different".
I was once yelled at for telling that detransition rate is much more than 1%, they told me that even if this rate is no true, I should shut the fuck up about it because it will prevent people from ability to transition freely. Like I care, lol. I care about myself and other detrans people who were treated with indifference and cruelty, trans problems don't actually bother me.
"you can't speak for all trans people, since you were never trans anyway"
neither do you. I only speak for myself and share my experience, just like you. Yes, I'm not trans, I never was one, but I lives as a trans man for 5 damn years of my life and I can't just pretend that it never happened. I wish I was like all ordinary cis women with all my heart, but I will never be "ordinary" in the cis-heteronormative sense, especially considering that I am a lesbian. I wish I never transitioned and just experienced adolescence as all young women of my generation, but well, what's done is done. And no one has the right to take away my freedom of speech, no one has the right to shut me up when I talk about trans issues. Yes, my opinion on the trans agenda is not "inject hormones to 12-year-old girls and cut off 10-year-old boys' penises, because that's how they feel," and you may disagree with this, but I went through transition twice: during FTM transition and during detransition, and I will be loud, I will speak out, even if someone doesn't like it. I've been through pain, and I'll never start hiding it because some activists don't like my experience, which differs from the "gold standard" of a trans experience.
agreed. I hate how they think that detrans people are obligated to be TrAnS-FrIEnDlY when talking about their own experience. I once called my mastectomy a mutilation and someone said "uh nuh don't say that, top surgeries save lives of trans guys and transmascs". Like ok great, somehow it didn't save mine so I can call it whatever I want 💀 and this sub is just filled with people who share similar mindset.
I hate this. this topic about detransphobia reminded me of videos I saw on tiktok (I hate tiktok I only use it to watch videos with cats but sometimes trans shit shows up😭). I saw a bunch of videos of trans and nonbinary people laughing at detrans experience and filming videos using this sound from some cartoon "so why did this kid ask for pistachio if he doesn't like it?". like yeah, let's pretend that detransition is THAT simple and detrans people is just a bunch of idiots who transitioned even though they didn't want to (when in fact most of us sincerely believed it would save us). they simply think people can't change and grow because they're all stuck in their fantasy world where sex change is possible.
I really hate people on this sub. They call detrans people on r/detrans fakers and "cis people with made up stories", they say that we lie about our experience just to harm trans people. Is it considered okay now to accuse people of lying when you disagree with them?
also, they encourage people to "experiment" with hormones and surgeries, they see nothing bad in transition, they believe it's totally healthy. They believe that surgeries on genitals really make you the opposite sex. They literally hate the fact that detrans regret exists because we don't fit in their cute trans narrative about "100% of happy medically transitioned trans people." I'm done with this sub because I hate those "good detrans people who support trans people <3". Like, I don't hate trans people, I just hate the concept of medical transition and believing that one can be born in a "body of a wrong sex." Like, people on this sub literally deny the existence of biological sex, like their fucking gender is the only thing that matters. Yes, I also tried to be "that good detrans girl who doesn't blame her doctors and trans activists and only blames herself." People on this sub want us to blame only ourselves, even if we were kids and teenagers when we were medically transitioned. I hate that. Everyone and everything is always to blame for trans people, but when it comes to detrans people, it's always "just our fault that we regretted what we did". I hate that.
I feel you. I really want to get a fat transplant one day and now I wear breast forms every day, but it just makes me sick to know the every second of my existence that I rejected that part of my body so easily. I want to have children with my wife someday, and I'll never experience breastfeeding my babies. I know some women don't breastfeed for different reasons, but I personally wish I could experience that. I feel that I betrayed my body. Betrayed my mom whose body had been creating my body, mammary glands including, for 9 months straight, and after 18 years I just agreed to cut them off, like they were nothing but some kind of a foreign tumor. It's just painful. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over it, I'll carry this pain with me straight to the grave.
agreed. I mourn my young3r self who looked good in any outfit and was an ordinary (physically) girl, but what causes me more pain and makes me grieve is the memory of a HEALTHY version of myself who was a full-fledged girl by the standards of society and was not torn apart.