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Reddit user /u/throwaway-14685437's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 26
female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
retransition
puberty discomfort
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account. The comments show:

  • Personal, nuanced experiences: The user shares specific, emotionally detailed stories (e.g., applying cologne, keeping a beard as a shield) that are consistent with a genuine detransition/desister narrative.
  • Internal consistency: The narrative is coherent across comments, discussing a journey from transition to detransition and the ongoing struggle with identity and presentation.
  • Appropriate emotion: The tone includes frustration, self-reflection, and encouragement, which aligns with a passionate individual who has experienced personal trauma related to this topic.

The account does not exhibit the repetitive, generic, or agenda-driven language typical of inauthentic accounts.

About me

I was a happy girl who loved typical girl things, but puberty was overwhelming and made me hate my changing female body. I transitioned to male in my late teens, taking testosterone and living as a man, but it never felt right because my internal, feminine self never changed. I felt completely lost and didn't fit in anywhere, especially when I stopped hormones but kept my beard as a shield to hide my face. Finally shaving it off was the first step toward accepting myself as a woman again. Now I know I can express myself in many ways, but my heart wants to be heard as the woman I am.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and complicated process of trying to figure out who I am. I was born female and for most of my childhood, I was content. I had a group of female friends, we listened to Destiny's Child and Aaliyah, and I was really into typical 'girl' things like American Girl books, My Little Ponies, and Polly Pockets. I played with the boys outside too, but I was always aware that I was the only girl and that made me different.

Everything changed for me when I hit puberty. It was a really overwhelming and scary time. I developed breasts quickly and I absolutely hated it. Running became uncomfortable and the whole experience just felt wrong and intimidating. The changing social dynamics were a lot to handle. I now realize that a lot of girls feel uncomfortable with their changing bodies, but at the time, it felt like something uniquely terrible was happening to me.

This discomfort with my female body and the changes of puberty led me to transition. I started taking testosterone and eventually I was fully passing as a man. But it never felt completely right. I realized that I had been socialized as a girl and my emotional range and worldview are what people generally see as feminine. When I tried to interact with other men as a man, it was too hard because my way of being in the world was just entirely different. I remember one time, a male friend let me try his fancy cologne. I sprayed it on my wrists and neck like I always had with perfume, and he pointed out that the way I applied it was "very feminine." It was a small thing, but it was a giveaway that my internal self hadn't changed.

My anxiety skyrocketed during this time. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. I didn't feel like a man, but I also felt like I had gone too far to ever fit in as a woman again. For a while, I stopped testosterone but kept my beard. I thought if I couldn't be seen as a cis woman, then why bother trying. I felt like I just registered as a question mark to everyone, and it destroyed my confidence. I now see that the beard was a shield; I had always felt ugly and inferior as a woman, and it hid my face. I told myself that a beard could be feminine, but deep down I knew I was using it to hide.

The day I finally shaved my face for good was the day I knew I could move forward. It was incredibly hard, but it was the start of me accepting myself as a woman again. I don't regret my transition because I think I needed to go through it to understand myself better, but I also see that the medical intervention wasn't as necessary as I thought it was. I have no serious health complications from taking testosterone and I believe I am still fertile, as I never had any surgery.

Now, I identify as female again. Some days I feel very feminine and wear dresses and do my hair, and other days I wear baggy, masculine clothes. I’ve realized that I’m just a human being who can express myself in different ways. My femininity is valid every single day, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, regardless of how I look or what I'm wearing. I can do masculine things and still be female. A big question for me was always, "how does my heart want to be heard?" And my heart wants to be heard as a woman, with all my softness and feminine understanding of the world.

Age Event
Childhood Content as a female child, played with typical "girl" toys and had female friends.
Early Puberty (~12) Became deeply uncomfortable with breast development, periods, and changing social dynamics.
Young Adulthood (~18-22) Started taking testosterone and began living as a man.
Mid-20s (~25) Stopped testosterone but kept beard, felt like I didn't fit in anywhere.
26 Shaved beard for good and began socially detransitioning, identifying as female again.

Top Comments by /u/throwaway-14685437:

7 comments • Posting since November 5, 2021
Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) explains the stereotypical but fun signs from her childhood, including female friends, R&B music, American Girl books, My Little Ponys, and being the only girl playing with boys outside.
18 pointsNov 17, 2021
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This is stereotypical I guess but all in good fun. My group of friends in elementary school were all female, i listened to like, destiny’s child and Aaliyah and other 90’s/2000’s hip hop/R&B and was very curious about romance. I read American Girl books and played with my little pony’s and Polly pockets, and those toys that you pull the string and it sends the spinning butterfly princess flying into the air. I did play with the male kids outside a lot but I was always aware I was the different one there since I was the only girl.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) explains her realization that medical transition wasn't necessary, emphasizing the importance of asking how your heart wants to be heard and that self-expression isn't dependent on changing one's biology.
12 pointsNov 5, 2021
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You are you,you will always be you regardless of any changes you make or don’t make, or how you decide to identify or not identify. For me a big question was “how do I want people to understand me on an emotional level” I was socialized as a girl, I have an emotional range that is generally seen as feminine. When I tried to pass as a male, my female softness never went away, it was too hard to interact with other men as a man when my worldview was just entirely different. Maybe I don’t fit in neatly with women either, but my heart wants to be heard a certain way. How does your heart want to be heard, what is your heart trying to say? I don’t think medical intervention is as necessary as people make it. I’m identifying as female again and some days I am very feminine, some days I still wear “masculine” baggy clothes. I’m just a human being that can express myself in different ways depending on my mood and comfort level. I can do feminine and masculine things while my biology is female.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) comments on how applying cologne in a "feminine" way (on wrists and neck pulse points) was a subtle giveaway that they were not a cis man, despite fully passing on testosterone.
12 pointsNov 8, 2021
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Yep I remember when I was On T and fully passing as a man, and a male friend had this new fancy cologne and let me try it - I spritzed it on my wrists and side of neck pulse points and the guy was like “that was very feminine?” I didn’t even sto to think of something so small as how I apply perfume/cologne to be a giveaway.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) explains why she ultimately shaved her beard, describing the anxiety, social ostracism, and loss of confidence she experienced when she no longer passed as male and was perceived as an enigma.
10 pointsNov 14, 2021
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I tried to live that life for a while. My anxiety skyrocketed and I was treated like shit by most people. Because I didn’t pass as a man anymore even with the beard, so I just registered as “????” To everyone. It destroyed my confidence. I told myself that’s who I was for a while but I was only making life harder for myself. Of course I wish you the best if that’s the road you take, and I do think it was necessary for me to keep the beard for a while as I was processing everything. Detransitioning is hard, it’s okay to take your time with these things. But in the long term I can’t see living that way forever and the day I shaved my face for good, was the day I knew I could move forward as a woman, confidently and no longer shooting myself in the foot.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) discusses the internal pressure to perform femininity constantly after detransitioning, asserting that her womanhood is valid even without effort or a feminine presentation.
10 pointsNov 10, 2021
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Absolutely right. This is something I have to remind myself of, also. I tend to be pretty fluid with my presentation, some days I am very feminine and others I’m more androgynous. Once I acknowledged my need to detransition I felt this pressure (from myself) to be always feminine and it’s a hard mental thing to break. I like feminine things, like hair and clothes and stuff. But my femininity is not only valid when I look my very very best and I’m all done up. I’m a girl every morning when I wake up and when I i to sleep, even if I put no further effort into my presentation.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) explains how keeping her beard was a shield to hide from feeling inferior as a masculine woman, and questions whether it's a form of reclamation or concealment.
6 pointsNov 15, 2021
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A lot of this sounds like I could have written it. That’s why I kept my beard for so long, I didn’t think I would ever pass as a cis woman again- and felt like if I would never be seen as cis then why bother stepping out of my comfort zone. You say you want to reclaim your masculine womanhood - the questions I would be asking myself are- what does that mean? What counts as masculine femininity versus masculinity. I wore my beard like a shield, I always felt ugly and less than as a woman, and The beard hid my face. I told myself for a long time “my beard is feminine” and plenty of women with PCOS for example, grow facial hair, it’s not that it can’t be feminine. But is it honoring your masculine womanhood or is it hiding it? I know that in my case, the beard was helping me hide from feeling inferior as a masculine woman.

You might be surprised how people respond to you without it. It’s worth a try anyway, to see how it feels.

Reddit user throwaway-14685437 (detrans female) explains how the overwhelming discomfort of early breast development and changing social dynamics during puberty, rather than gender identity, led to her desire to escape womanhood.
5 pointsNov 17, 2021
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I relate so heavily to the puberty thing. I was content until I learned about/started puberty. Now I know that probably all girls feels uncomfortable about periods and changing bodies, but it felt so scary and intimidating to me. Like I developed quickly in the boob department and like you said, running was uncomfortable, I was miserable, changing social dynamics of puberty, it was all overwhelming for me and I wanted out.