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Reddit user /u/throwaway126262625's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 25 -> Detransitioned: 26
male
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
autogynephilia (agp)
now infertile
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's narrative is highly detailed, internally consistent, and emotionally nuanced over a year-long period. They describe a specific, complex experience (exploring transition due to AGP, detransitioning, and the physical/emotional aftermath) that aligns with known detransitioner perspectives. The passion and criticism towards the trans community are consistent with the stated harm and stigma some detransitioners feel.

About me

I started questioning my gender because I had a long-standing fascination with femininity and found crossdressing exciting, especially when I received validation online. I tried HRT for eight months, but I quickly realized my excitement was tied to a sexual fantasy of being a pretty girl, not a sustainable reality. The physical changes, like my skin softening and chest developing, caused me intense dysphoria and felt completely wrong. I stopped hormones and am now living happily again as a male, embracing that I can be a feminine man. I've learned that my true happiness comes from accepting the body I was born with.

My detransition story

My journey started with a long-standing fascination with femininity. From a young age, I enjoyed crossdressing. As I got older and got better with wigs and makeup, it felt even more exciting, especially when I received validation online. I was often compared to female celebrities that I myself found very attractive. This gave me a rush. I thought I might be trans because I felt different from a lot of other males; I didn't have any strong male role models and I didn't relate to hyper-masculine guys.

I decided to try hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for eight months. I had the resources and an accepting environment—my family and my job would have supported me. I never presented as female in public, only in the privacy of my own home, but I was passable. Posting pictures and getting thousands of upvotes felt incredibly validating. But I soon realized that this excitement was tied to the fantasy of being a pretty girl, not a sustainable reality for me.

The actual experience of medical transition was what made me realize it wasn't for me. I thought I had dysphoria before, but I experienced true dysphoria after starting hormones. I hated the physical changes. My skin became way too soft for my liking—I actually missed my tougher male skin. When my chest started to develop, it terrified me; it felt completely wrong and unnatural. I also realized my overall perception of the world had shifted, and I hated it. Simple things like having shaved legs felt weird, and not being able to just throw on a t-shirt without thinking about it felt wrong. I didn't have a single truly happy day the entire time I was on estrogen.

A huge part of my motivation, which I had overlooked, was sexual. For me, a lot of it was Autogynephilia (AGP). It was arousing to transform myself into the ideal image of femininity, especially since I wasn't getting that from a partner. I can't believe that anyone who is truly transgender would get all dolled up, masturbate, and then be perfectly happy to take everything off and go back to living as a male. I think a lot of men, especially the "transbians" you see online, are motivated by this but are not honest about it. I wish it was studied more and not just demonized.

I also became really disillusioned with parts of the online trans community. A lot of the people seemed very out of touch with reality—adults wearing schoolgirl skirts in public, or not putting in the effort to actually pass and then demanding access to women's spaces. The language they used, like "titty skittles" and "skirt go spinny," felt like they were fetishizing womanhood, and it made me cringe. I noticed an astronomical number of autistic people in these spaces, and my theory is that for some, it's easier to try to become the woman they can't attract.

I quit hormones cold turkey after eight months. Thankfully, I didn't have any serious health complications or side effects other than some moodiness and mild, permanent breast tissue development (gynecomastia). My skin is still softer than it used to be, even though I've been off for a while now, and I miss my old body. I'm now infertile, which is a permanent consequence.

I don't regret trying it because I would have always wondered "what if." But the biggest thing I learned is that transitioning wasn't the solution for me. My happiest moments in life were when I was living as a guy. I’ve realized I can be a man and still be a "pretty dude" who is a little feminine. The attention I get from women now feels a hundred times better than any online validation I ever got. I'm finally feeling like myself again, better than I have in a long time.

My advice to anyone questioning is to really, deeply reflect on your motives. Make sure it's not a purely sexual thing or a fantasy. Try to find happiness with the body you have first. And if you do decide to try hormones, understand that you will never actually be the opposite sex. You will spend your life fighting biology, and that’s a huge burden to carry. It's not for everyone, and that's okay.

Age Date (Approximate) Event
(Childhood) (Early 2000s) Began crossdressing in private, finding it exciting.
(Early 20s) (Early 2020s) Started experimenting with wigs and makeup, receiving online validation. Began seriously questioning my gender identity.
25 Mid-2021 Started Hormone Replacement Therapy (Estrogen).
25 Late-2021 Experienced breast development and skin softening, which caused intense dysphoria and discomfort.
26 Early 2022 Stopped HRT cold turkey after 8 months. Realized my motivation was largely AGP and a sexual fantasy, not a true transgender identity.
26 2022-Present Detransitioned. Living as a male again and working on self-acceptance. Dealing with permanent mild gynecomastia and infertility.

Top Comments by /u/throwaway126262625:

23 comments • Posting since January 11, 2022
Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) offers support and advice to a detransitioner, explaining that transitioning to relieve dysphoria is understandable, but it's not a solution for everyone. They encourage self-forgiveness, suggest reflecting on past happiness, and advise consulting a doctor when stopping testosterone after long-term use.
39 pointsFeb 4, 2022
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You transitioned to try to relieve dysphoria. It's OK. You did what you thought made the most sense for you at the time. Give yourself grace and allow yourself forgiveness. It sounds like you had the realization that many of us have.. transitioning isn't always the solution. It's not for everyone. Reflect back on when you were the happiest in life. If it was before all of this happened, then that might be pretty telling in itself.

If you've been on for 2 + years it may be helpful to try to work with a doctor. I quit cold turkey after 8 months and experienced no side effects other than a little moodiness, but YMMV.

The good news is that it sounds like you're on your way to finding out who you are. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains his theory that many MTF individuals are autistic and transition because they can't attract the women they want.
33 pointsFeb 4, 2023
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Yeah, the amount of autism in the MTF community is astronomical. You won't find a more socially awkward or out of touch with reality group of people if you look. I mean that in the kindest possible way. My theory is that a lot of them can't attract the women that they want so it's easier for them to try to become it.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) advises caution, warning that HRT changes can be permanent and urges questioning MTF individual to ensure their motivation isn't purely sexual (AGP) before transitioning.
23 pointsJan 17, 2023
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Make sure you're actually trans and that it isn't a purely sexual thing. AGP is real as much as the trans community will deny it.

I'd encourage / urge you to try to find happiness in your body. Lots of the changes are reversible if you change your mind, but some are not.

Maybe try to go out in public too if you already haven't. See what it's really like to navigate the world as a "woman".

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains his reasons for detransitioning, citing breast development, skin softness, persistent unhappiness, altered perception of reality, and realizing his motives were primarily sexual (AGP) rather than a true transgender identity.
22 pointsFeb 4, 2022
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I can think of a few:

  • When chest development started happen.
  • When skin started becoming way too soft for my own personal liking (I enjoy it on girls.. not on myself)
  • When I realized that I didn't have a truly happy day since starting HRT.
  • When I realized that my overall perception of life and the world around had shifted tremendously since being on hormones (things just didn't feel like they used to, and I hated it). I didn't want to even leave the house because having my legs shaved felt weird. Not being able to wear a t-shirt like I used to felt weird.
  • When I realized it was really more of a sexual thing than I originally gave it credit for. Probably the biggest red flag that I overlooked. Men who think they may be trans should REALLY look into this and do a ton of reflecting on their motives. AGP is real.. to me at least (although it should never be used to discredit actual trans people.. I think that's what prevents it from being looked into more honestly). I concluded that it didn't make sense for me to undo everything about my being for a fantasy that comes up occasionally
  • When I realized that the idea of navigating the world as a woman felt super foreign to me and that I didn't want to have to use the girl's bathroom, or even leave the house as a woman. No social pressure. Family would've probably been accepting, job too.. came to these conclusions through deep reflection.

Hope you're doing OK these days!

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) expresses gratitude for the detrans community, highlighting its rarity and importance for detrans males.
16 pointsFeb 4, 2022
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Yes. Same here. Very grateful to connect with people in the same situation. It is incredibly difficult to find a community like this anywhere else, especially for detrans males.

Transitioning isn't always the answer. There are other solutions out there.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains his detransition, citing discomfort in public while crossdressed, arousal from transformation (AGP), and a realization from HRT that he preferred his male body and masculine presence.
15 pointsApr 2, 2022
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Like you, I crossdressed from a young age. It felt good, and as I got older and acquired wigs and got good at makeup, it felt even better. The validation I received also felt good, because to be honest, I looked pretty good and got compared to a lot of female celebrities.. celebrities that I found super hot. BUT, I realized that this only felt good in the comfort of my own home. I'd never feel comfortable being in society looking feminine. I realized that when I was out in public that I craved attention from women, and I liked giving off a masculine presence. I could never be in the store dressed as a woman, or at a doctor's appointment. It just wouldn't feel right or comfortable. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that there was a sexual arousal component to this. It's arousing to transform yourself into the ideal image of femininity, especially if you aren't getting that from a partner. I think a lot of trans women aren't as forthcoming as they should be about that. You can't convince me that "AGP" doesn't exist.

I experimented with hormones for 8 months and this was a huge mistake (but one I learned a lot from ultimately). Seeing my body feminize made me realize how much I actually enjoyed being a male. Stupid little things that you forget about, like feeling stubble on your face a few days after you shaved.. I don't think I'd appreciate my masculinity to the extent that I do now if I never tried hormones, although I am now left with mild gyno (it's way less than what other people have, even many cis males who just have gyno so I guess I got off easy). Also, I've only been off E for about 3 months now, but my skin still feels uncomfortably soft. I miss my male hide as silly as that sounds. I'm hoping that reverts to normal.

As u/Mountain-Rip-8546 mentioned already, you will never be anything other than a biological male. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't transition if you truly feel that you would be happier in a more feminine body, but you'll spend the rest of your days fighting biology and expecting people to accept that, and the truth is many won't. Your shoulders will always be bigger, your hips will always be flat, your hands and feet will always be bigger, your midface will always be longer, etc. I don't mean that to be transphobic-- it's the reality of the situation that nobody at the informed consent clinic or trans subreddits is going to tell you.. the REAL truth that I wish I had been told before I embarked on this journey. You are not your thoughts. You do not have to completely transform your entire being because you like wearing women's clothes or because you're a little more feminine than other men. We come in different shapes and sizes.

If you have any other questions please ask away.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) argues that a detransitioner's blame of his therapist is a deflection of responsibility, emphasizing free will and informed consent.
14 pointsFeb 8, 2022
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Maybe I'm alone here and it's fine if I am, but this feels like total deflection of responsibility on his end. We all have free will and we have to live with the choices we make. That's why informed consent exists. You should be allowed to make your own decisions.

"my life is very much ruined because of people like you"... that doesn't feel right. The therapist didn't force hormones down his throat. He could have very easily found a new therapist if things didn't feel right with this one. Sounds like he didn't do enough research, and that's nobody's fault but his own. If not being sterile was so important to him, he should've banked sperm.

We don't have the full context either. We don't know what the original interactions what the therapist look like.

This is not as brave or heroic as it's being made out to be. Downvote me all you want, I don't care. but if you do, I challenge you to actually explain your stance.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains his positive detransition, stating that while HRT and the validation of passing as female was a "rush," his happiness now as a "pretty dude" is far greater and more sustainable.
13 pointsFeb 6, 2022
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I feel similarly to you. I'm feeling great now.. better than I've felt in so long. Like I have a new lease on life. I'm glad I tried HRT. I would've always regretted not trying because I would always wonder if I didn't. I never presented as female in public, just acted it out in the comfort of my own home.. But I was pretty passable.

Was it awesome to post pictures on reddit and get thousands of upvotes? Yes. It felt validating. It was a rush. But I think it ultimately came down to it being exciting to be pretty. I like pretty girls.. so in my mind, turning into one was the ultimate rush. I could dress exactly how I wished a female partner would, wear makeup the way I wish she did, wear my hair the way I wish she did, etc. It was always a sexual thing. Not sure why I never just tried looking for that partner. I've never had much trouble with girls.

Anyway, My biggest takeaway from the experience is that I'm realizing now that I can also be a pretty dude. The attention from girls feels 100x better.

Do the parts that you miss outweigh the happiness that you have now? Does that make sense? It could be helpful to reflect on when you felt the most happy. Even if you miss certain parts of the other life, it probably makes more sense to go with what makes you happiest. It's more sustainable longterm.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains why transition isn't a cure for suicidal feelings and warns about the high cost
12 pointsFeb 22, 2022
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YMMV but it's possible that HRT will only exacerbate these feelings. If you're broke, I'm going to give you a reality check-- transition is expensive.

If you're at the point of suicide, you should seek some sort of professional help. Transition isn't a cure.

Reddit user throwaway126262625 (detrans male) explains his regret, realizing he was chasing an impossible ideal and experienced true dysphoria from feminizing effects like softer skin and breast development.
12 pointsFeb 17, 2022
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I was chasing something that was impossible. I was "lucky" enough to have a feminine-looking face, shorter height, and was deemed attractive by many whenever I posted.. but still, I'd always have wider shoulders, no hips, a deeper voice, and would always just be pretending and expecting that the world pretended with me. The idea of navigating the world as a woman is/was scary to me. And It felt unnatural.

I realized that I didn't have true dysphoria before transition... because I experienced true dysphoria when I noticed my skin softening, and breast development, etc.

It just wasn't for me, but I am glad that I at least tried, because if I didn't then I think I'd always wonder.