This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced storytelling with specific, consistent details about the user's background (e.g., southern Baptist school, political science major, gifted student, curly hair).
- Emotional depth and vulnerability that feels genuine, showing a range of feelings from confusion and pain to relief and pride.
- Internal consistency in the narrative across multiple comments over several days.
- Engagement with complex ideas (e.g., misogyny, gifted child pressure, political weaponization) in a way that reflects personal processing rather than reciting talking points.
The user's passion and anger are consistent with a genuine desister/detransitioner who is working through trauma and a significant identity shift.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a girl, especially growing up in a strict religious environment where I felt ugly and masculine compared to everyone else. I thought transitioning to male was the only way to escape that pressure and finally be respected for my intelligence. For a while, living as a man gave me confidence, but it quickly became an exhausting performance. I had a sudden realization that my problem wasn't being female, but hating the restrictive box I was forced into as a woman. Now I'm happily reclaiming my womanhood as a gender non-conforming person, and I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in as a girl. I was raised in a really strict Pentecostal home and went to a private Baptist school in the south. It was an incredibly whitewashed environment, and I was the only girl there with thick curly hair, a tan complexion, and darker body hair. Compared to all the girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, I felt ugly and masculine. I hated my breasts and just felt uncomfortable in my own skin during puberty. I now think a lot of this was just normal puberty discomfort that got twisted into something else.
I was also a "gifted" kid—always reading, getting top grades, and winning awards. But as a girl, that intelligence wasn't celebrated. When I told people in high school I wanted to be a writer, they'd try to talk me into something else, like journalism or architecture. When I spoke up in class, I was called "angry" or "crazy." I think I started to believe that the only way to be respected for my mind was to be a man.
Around this time, I got really into anime and found a lot of friends online who were trans. I'm Gen-Z, so the internet was a huge part of my life. I started seeing a connection; a lot of us who felt like outsiders found community there. I began to think that my deep discomfort and my masculine traits meant I was actually a trans man. It felt like an escape from all the pressure. I could take the masculinity I hated about myself and turn it into an advantage. I think my undiagnosed autism played a role, too—I’ve never been officially screened, but my mom is a therapist and works with autistic kids, and I suspect I’m on the spectrum. It would explain a lot about how I interpreted my feelings.
So, when I got to college, I started socially transitioning. I lived as a guy, used he/him pronouns, and was "stealth," meaning no one knew I was born female. And honestly, for a while, it worked. Suddenly, when I told people I was a political science major who wanted to be a writer, I was called "brilliant" and a "hard worker." I made friends more easily. It gave me a confidence I never had before. I think I was also dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia; I knew I was bisexual, but growing up in my religious environment, I felt I could never be accepted as a masculine, bisexual woman. Being a straight trans guy felt like a way out.
But the pressure didn't go away; it just changed. Now I had the pressure of trying to "pass" all the time, on top of the new pressures of being perceived as a man. It was exhausting. The shift for me happened really fast. If you had asked me a month before I detransitioned what I was, I would have confidently said "a boy." But then I had a sudden realization that I was just performing a role. The real performance was trying to be male.
I started to understand that my problem wasn't that I was born in the wrong body; it was that I hated the box I was forced into as a woman. I realized I could be a gender non-conforming woman. I don't regret cutting my hair short or buying men's clothes—my curls are healthier than ever, and I feel more confident. I just wish I'd had the courage to do those things without believing I had to be trans first.
Now, I'm comfortable saying I'm a woman. I use she/her pronouns, but I also use they/them sometimes because I like that it reflects my androgyny. I love my female body, and I've reclaimed my womanhood. I feel like a human being first and foremost. The whole experience taught me a lot about myself, and in a weird way, I'm grateful for it because I wouldn't be this confident in my non-conformity now if I hadn't gone through it. I don't regret transitioning because it was a necessary part of my growth, but I am sad that I felt it was my only option.
The hardest part now is telling my friends. I haven't done it yet. I'm scared, but I know I need to be honest with them. I'm just trying to focus on how much happier I am now.
Age | Event |
---|---|
Throughout childhood | Felt like an outsider for being a masculine, "gifted" girl in a religious, southern environment. |
During puberty (Teen years) | Experienced significant discomfort with my body, especially my breasts, and felt I couldn't live up to feminine beauty standards. |
Late teens (College) | Socially transitioned to male, used he/him pronouns, and lived as a "stealth" trans man. |
20 | Realized I was not trans and began detransitioning socially. Stopped using he/him pronouns. |
20 | Came to terms with being a gender non-conforming woman and started using she/they pronouns. |
Top Comments by /u/throwaway2739174:
Wow, thank you so much from this. Looking at it from this perspective has given me a light feeling on my shoulders, instead of that heavy burden I was carrying.
Growth indeed :) I feel a small bit of pride for it now, so I hope I can shelter it and let it grow as I become more confident in myself.
"Both men and women experience pressure, but at that time I didn't know that."
So true! That is something I'm starting to realize myself. I thought being a guy would take the pressure away from being a girl, but I quickly realized I had a new pressure to face- *on top* of trying to pass. Now, I feel like I can take on the pressure as a girl again.
And yes, I definitely don't regret cutting my hair short (100x more confident with it, and my curls are healthier), buying more men's clothes, and owning my masculinity in general. I feel like I would have never done those things if I hadn't thought I was trans. I just wish I had the courage to do those things without (1) thinking I was trans and (2) coming out on top of that.
Thank you for the reassurance, I think you’re right. The most confusing part for me is how I’ve realized this change in myself all so quickly, especially after three years of no second thought. But I’ll be alright. I think having to actively “come out” (if it’s even fair to say it in that sense) as someone who isn’t trans anymore will be the hardest part... but your assurance greatly helps!
I’m involved in a lot of politics online (thanks, political science major me! constant headaches), and I can safely say that transphobic right-wing circles will be talking trash about trans people regardless of if detrans stories gain popular media attention or not. They always have, and always will dislike the trans community, and they’ve always used detransitioning statistics/stories in their conversations. The detrans community is weaponized and only used for a talking point regardless. On the other hand, the detrans community will always be disliked by these groups of trans activists that you mentioned, especially on “woke” Twitter.
It’s a lose-lose either way.
So you’re right, none of it is a reason to try and silence our community and the perspectives and stories within. The 60-Minutes episode isn’t going to change anything we haven’t already seen or hasn’t happened. Twitter just doesn’t want it to be a relevant, perhaps mainstream conversation and for it to stay smothered within these small, political circles. The only question is “why?”: because nobody wants to recognize a reality that can happen when it comes to being a “politically correct” trans activist, aka that detransition can happen. And that is dangerous.
Raised Pentecostal and went to a southern Baptist school all my life as a masculine, bisexual (closeted though) woman. Definitely some religious trauma. Looking back, I feel like my transition was another way to cope with the misogyny, homophobia, and general insecurity issues I felt while in these environments. Even then, I knew I wouldn’t be accepted as the person I was if I came out, and I knew I also wouldn’t be accepted as a trans guy. It made me feel so lost and hopeless. I wonder if you felt the same?
I’m just thankful I was never so far in my transition to come out to my parents, because that would’ve made my life so much worse. Dw, you’re not alone!
Wow, thank you! I think you summarized everything perfectly, and your advice is amazing! I really do believe everything you said is the case here, I’m just in shock on how detransitioning happened to fast because of you would’ve asked me a month ago what I identified as, I would’ve confidently said “Boy!” So it’s gonna take me some time to release myself from the trans label, especially since I stuck with it for a good while lol. But I feel better now!
Your comments about the GD are spot on, imo. I forget to mention this, but I went to a private school in the south almost all my life, and although I’m white myself (yes, this does have a lot to do with it hear me out lol), the school was INSANELY whitewashed. I was the only girl with thick curly hair, tan complexion, and darker eyes and body hair... so that’s just some context. So compared to my white female peers with blond hair and light skin and blue eyes, I definitely did not feel pretty in my tiny little high school (even though such a standard is BS! And the whole standard thing is definitely another subject of discussion, but I feel like in my case it applies to some extent, although I’ll never understand the true struggle POC have faced because of it.). I think identifying as a trans man gave me some control over the masculinity I hated myself for, and I turned it into an advantage instead.
I love your ending advice :,,,) I definitely just feel like a human, even if tomboy fits this body best. Thank you again!
I’m so glad you brought up the gifted aspect— I was a gifted child too in school. I never realized this could be a connection (I’m very new to my own detransition myself). Always reading, always writing, all-As, NHS, putting myself in only the top classes and completing my first year of college in high school, scholarships and awards, enrolled into Honors at my university. As a female student, I would be shamed for these things- even by other women. When I got to college and told people I wanted to be a writer (I was socially out as male at that time and stealth), I was respected and encouraged. When I told people I wanted to be a writer in high school (female at the time), I was never praised and people tried to offer me other jobs to look into, even my own dad. “Why don’t you do just journalism instead?” “What about architecture?” And when we talk or debate in classes, we’re labeled as “angry” and “crazy”. When I was a man talking in class and debating and getting top scores, I was “brilliant” and “a hard worker”. You’re right, gifted women are always put down. We’re supposed to be pretty and quiet, and when we’re not and we showcase our intelligence, we can start to feel lonely. And the only way to feel human, like you said, is to be respected as a man. I relate to your story!
Wonderful post, OP :) I wish for the best healing for your inner child. I’m sure she loves the adult you no matter what, through the good and bad and ugly. Everything will be okay now.
Thanks for the advice! No, I’ve never been screened before, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was somewhere on the autistic spectrum. My mom is a therapist and works with lots of kids with autism, so I’ll have to ask her about it. I’ll look into it, because it would explain a lot (including this, lol).
Yes, that's how I have been for the past couple of days! I've been deleting it and just copy and pasting it in my Notes app. Thank you for the assurance, because I definitely just want it to be over with. Crossing that daunting bridge is the hardest part. And who knows, maybe that private judgement will cease when they see how much happier I am. Thank you for your comment and insight, it has helped :)
Thank you so much for this :,) this has instilled a sense of bravery in me. I definitely do have more experiences now, some I wouldn't have made if I hadn't transitioned. I don't think I would have even made any friends at college if I hadn't been living as a guy. During that time, it gave me a sense of confidence.
Now, I'm navigating a way to nourish that confidence in a different way, my way. Thank you for this.