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Reddit user /u/throwaway275445's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user demonstrates:

  • Personal, nuanced advice that reflects a deep understanding of detransition experiences and emotional struggles.
  • Consistent, passionate advocacy for caution regarding transition and criticism of medical and online communities, which aligns with common detransitioner perspectives.
  • Varied, human-like responses that include personal anecdotes, empathy, practical health advice, and reactions to trolls, which are difficult to automate.

The tone and content are consistent with a genuine, passionate desister or detransitioner.

About me

I started transitioning because I hated going through puberty as a girl and thought becoming a man would fix all my problems. I took testosterone and had top surgery, but it only caused health issues and the happiness I was promised never came. I now see my gender dysphoria was really a symptom of my depression, anxiety, and internalized homophobia. I have permanent regrets, especially about my fertility, and I'm learning to accept myself as a woman. My journey has taught me that you don't need to change your body to be yourself.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and complicated, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were symptoms of other problems I wasn't dealing with.

I was deeply uncomfortable with puberty and hated developing breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me and I didn't want to become an adult woman. I now see this as a type of body dysmorphia and a form of escapism. I think a big part of it was also internalized homophobia; the idea of being a gay woman was scary to me, and I thought transitioning would allow me to have a "normal, straight relationship," which I now know isn't true. I believed transition was the outside solution that would finally make me happy.

I started identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a less scary step, but that quickly escalated to identifying as a trans man. I was influenced a lot by what I saw online and by the friends I had at the time. I took testosterone for a while. It caused some serious health complications for me, like cysts, which I later learned was basically like giving myself a severe case of PCOS. I also had top surgery. I don't talk about the results much, but I will say that if you're considering it, you should get multiple opinions and really take your time with the decision. Don't let anyone pressure you because of a waiting list.

The happiness I thought I'd get from transitioning never came. It was like I was just searching for the next external thing to fix how I felt inside. My mindset was the real problem. I was dealing with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I’ve come to understand that gender dysphoria itself can be a symptom of other issues, like OCD or even just the intense discomfort of adolescence.

I eventually realized that disliking parts of being a woman didn't make me a man. Everyone has parts of their gender they like and don't like. I'm an introvert and find a lot of social expectations for women really hard, but that's a social problem, not a biological one. Letting go of the trans identity felt like a mourning process. I was mourning the life and identity I thought I was going to have, and I had to rewrite my understanding of myself and my future.

I don't speak for everyone, but for me, I do have regrets. I regret not dealing with my underlying mental health issues first. I regret not seeking proper, non-affirming therapy that would have challenged me to work through my depression and self-image problems instead of just affirming my desire to transition. I'm now infertile because of the hormones, and that is a permanent consequence I have to live with.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social thing, and you can be whatever kind of man or woman you want to be without changing your body. I'm working on rebuilding bridges with people I pushed away and creating a new social circle that supports me for who I am now.

Age Event
14 Felt intense discomfort with puberty and hated developing breasts.
19 Started identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends.
20 Began identifying as a trans man and started taking testosterone.
21 Underwent top surgery.
22 Stopped testosterone due to health complications (cysts) and began the process of social detransition.

Top Comments by /u/throwaway275445:

17 comments • Posting since September 7, 2019
Reddit user throwaway275445 offers support and condemns a hateful troll, suggesting they are likely a teenager acting maliciously and advising to archive, report, and block.
52 pointsOct 31, 2019
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I hope you are ok. What a god awful troll. What a scumbag. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit. I wouldn't believe a single thing they say. It's probably a 13 year old in their mother's basement who thinks they are being funny. Archive, report and block.

Reddit user throwaway275445 explains that the feeling of wanting to be trans is a normal brain impulse, similar to an unrequited crush, and advises against self-blame while sharing their own experience of overcoming it through distraction.
44 pointsOct 29, 2019
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Frankly this is a pretty normal thing people go through, especially right now. Some times the brain just decides it wants something but that didn't mean it can or should have it. A good example is when you get a crush on someone who wants nothing to do with you, your brain goes into a type of mourning even though there was never a relationship there. I can't really say how I got over thinking I might be trans, to be honest I mostly just distracted myself with other intense interests and it went away on its own. You definitely shouldn't be beating yourself up about it either figuratively or literally.

Reddit user throwaway275445 comments on a detransitioner's post, advising them to address internal issues and rebuild social support before focusing on transition.
39 pointsOct 1, 2019
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It seems like you are still searching for the solution outside if your self rather than deal with your internal issues. First it was "transition will make me happy" but that didn't change anything then it's straight to "I be happier if I wasn't trans". Sort your mindset out first and worry about transition when you are in a good place. Rebuild some bridges, you need social support no matter how good doing things 100% your own way feels in the short term.

Reddit user throwaway275445 comments on a post-op dissatisfaction post, strongly advising the OP to seek multiple additional surgical opinions.
17 pointsNov 6, 2019
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This, 100% you should get a 2nd option and a 3rd, 4th and 5th if you can. You've already discovered the people you are dealing with have a very different opinion on what looks right than you do. It might be other people may be happy with the results but you aren't and that means you need to find people whose ideas are more in line with your own rather than trying to convince this people who won't listen.

Reddit user throwaway275445 explains that gender dysphoria is a symptom that can stem from various sources, including AGP in masculine men, passing anxiety from transition, psychosis, or OCD.
16 pointsOct 8, 2019
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Anyone can get gender dysphoria. AGP can lead to gender dysphoria in very masculine middle aged men with no previous problems just as much as being gnc. Many people get gender dysphoria from transitioning because they start to worry about passing. Dysphoria is just a symptom of other problems. Even psychosis and OCD can have gender dysphoria as a symptom.

Reddit user throwaway275445 comments on the military origins of short hair for men, suggesting long hair is fine if you don't feel "warlike," and shares an anecdote about long hair being seen as a "psychic antenna" in some cultures.
14 pointsNov 24, 2019
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Keep it long if you like it. The fashion of men having short hair comes from the military. If you aren't feeling particularly warlike no need to cut it.

I actually listened to a talk by a new age woman last week who claimed that in some cultures long hair is seen as a sort of psychic antenna and if you cut it you lose your powers, so there's that.

Reddit user throwaway275445 asks if trans sub users fear detransitioners because they've normalized hostility and project that behavior onto them.
13 pointsSep 21, 2019
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Can I ask a question. Are so many people from trans subs scared of people here because they they are used to seeing detrans described horribly, and even being threatened, then just assumed detrans must be doing the same thing back because that behaviour has become normalised in your mind?

Reddit user throwaway275445 explains that mourning a lost identity involves rewriting life's timelines, similar to a process described in the book 'The New Black', and encourages seeking treatment for depression.
10 pointsSep 7, 2019
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What you are experiencing is depression. Unlike detransitioning there are many types of support and treatment for that so please reach out and use them.

I read a good book a while back called The New Black which described the mourning process much like you are describing mulling over timelines. Basically when you go into mourning you have to rewrite all of your life without the person you've lost in it. You are mourning your old life and identity right now but once you get through that process you will be able to move on.

Reddit user throwaway275445 comments on the lack of detransition research, citing historical cases of males seeking reversal and a current spike in young female detransitioners.
10 pointsOct 8, 2019
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We don't know they do because all research into detransitioning has been shut down.

https://www.spiked-online.com/2019/02/22/my-battle-with-the-transgender-thoughtpolice/

Certainly there have always been males who returned to their surgeon after 5 or 10 years asking to be changed back and unfortunately meeting with unhelpful responses for the most part.

https://www.newsweek.com/transgender-women-transgender-men-sex-change-sex-reassignment-surgery-676777

We are currently seeing a spike in young female detransitioning because there has been a spike in girls transitioning, which is still growing.

A decade ago the vast majority of trans people in the anglosphere were middle aged men.

Reddit user throwaway275445 advises someone thinking of detransitioning to build a support network of openly gay people first, and to distance themselves from potentially abusive individuals.
7 pointsSep 17, 2019
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Frankly before you do anything detransition wise start reaching out to openly gay people and start to get yourself a new social circle in place in line with what you want to be. As you are in a good place mentally compared to many others it's likely the social side will be the hardest so prep and get your support network ready. Start distancing yourself from people you know might become abusive and manipulative so if you do make the change they can't hurt you as much.