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Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user shares highly specific, personal, and emotionally charged experiences related to taking testosterone, detransitioning, and the social consequences. The language is consistent, nuanced, and reflects the passion and pain typical of someone who has lived through this experience. The account details physical side effects, social isolation, and internal conflicts that are not common bot talking points.
About me
I started testosterone because my female body caused me intense distress and I thought becoming a man was my only answer. I was on it for over two years and achieved my goal of being seen as male, but it was incredibly lonely and isolating. The hormone caused me permanent health problems, and now that I've stopped, I'm left with a body that feels broken. My social life was completely damaged, and I now feel humiliated by the male name I chose. I regret the entire experience and am just trying to figure out who I am now.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of things I didn't see at the time. It started with intense dysphoria, both social and physical. I hated being called female and it made me feel awful, so I thought becoming a man was the only answer. A huge reason I started testosterone was because I felt like no one would take me seriously as a guy unless I was on it.
I was on testosterone for over two years. At first, I really wanted to be a "real guy" who passed perfectly and was completely stealth. I even looked down on other trans people who were more open about it. But when I actually achieved that, it was incredibly isolating. Men don't connect or support each other emotionally the way women do, and my female friends pulled away, probably because they saw me differently or didn't want to be hit on. It was a lonely and miserable experience, and I saw that even other trans people with supportive friends often seemed just as depressed.
My physical health suffered a lot from testosterone. I have permanent urinary problems, including what might be a prolapsed urethra. I'm also permanently dry, no matter what, which is horrible. I've been off T for a year now, and my body has changed back. All my muscles are gone, and my voice isn't deep anymore—it's just scratchy and gross, like an old woman who smoked too much. I didn't get the permanent masculine changes I wanted, just the negative side effects.
My sexuality was confusing through all of this. When I was on T, I still appreciated women but had too much low self-esteem to pursue them. I think I might have been sexually interested in guys almost as a way to punish myself; it didn't feel truly genuine. I've heard a lot of people on T say they realized they were bisexual, and that might have been part of it for me too.
A big part of why I detransitioned was social. I just couldn't connect with people anymore. I feel like people used to treat me a lot better before, and I had more female attention. Now, I think people might see me as bitter or awkward, or maybe they're just confused by me. I changed my name to a male one, and now that I look feminine again, it feels humiliating. People still call me by that male name and I think they must see me as crazy or "far gone." I wish I had just chosen a gender-neutral name from the start.
I don't really have dysphoria anymore, but sometimes remembering the past feelings can bring it back. I don't think being a woman is necessarily easier, unless you fit a very specific, perfect mold, but transitioning killed my social life and made everything harder. If you don't have severe dysphoria, it's definitely not worth it. I had extreme dysphoria and it still messed up my life.
I have regrets about the physical changes and the health problems from testosterone. I also regret how isolating the whole experience was and how it damaged my relationships. I'm trying to figure out who I am now, after all of it.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ? | ? | Started testosterone |
| ? | 2019 | Stopped testosterone after over 2 years of use |
| ? | 2020 | Living as a detransitioned female |
Top Comments by /u/throwaway34841:
You probably think being a woman is easier or will somehow be better for you. From my experience living as a man, it is isolating and disconnecting to be a guy; men don’t want to talk about their feelings or support each other the way female friends do, and female friends don’t often offer that same support to guys (prolly cuz they don’t want to be hit on).
Honestly I can tell you being a woman sucks and can be just as isolating unless you’re the perfect “social media influencer” type of woman who has endless support and friends. And transitioning kills just about every chance at having a social life, outside of small groups of trans people.
Especially if you don’t have dysphoria, it’s not worth it at all. I had extreme dysphoria (both social and physical) and I still felt transition fucked my life up so much.
You know you might not get the effects you want right?
I’m only a year off of t, was on it over 2 years. I don’t look masc at all anymore, all my muscles are gone, my voice isn’t deep but is scratchy and gross now (not even like a teen boy more like a grandma who smoked too many cigs lol).
You could also bald or get a shit ton of acne or any of the other negative side effects, without achieving anything permanent to make you look masculine.
Edit: oh I also have urinary problems too, including a possible prolapsed urethra, and im also permanently dry no matter how turned on I am. T is horrible for “down there”.
Same, it was a big factor in detransitioning. But it was also likely a factor in my transitioning, because I never felt like I could really connect with women (even platonically).. I just feel like people used to treat me a lot better, and I had a lot more female attention. I don’t know if I just look too bitter or awkward to talk to now, or who knows.
First of all I can relate a lot to your experience not being taken seriously unless you take t. It’s a huge reason I started it too since being called female made me so dysphoric (and even tho I’m not dysphoric anymore, remembering this experience makes me dysphoric). It sucks but when you go to college if you tell people you’re a guy, they’ll affirm it and accept you even if you don’t take t. (That’s been my experience however it’s not a conservative school).
Honestly though yes it will make your life harder, you’ll constantly have people be confused/ask about your gender. Even if you start passing 100% which takes over a year (possibly never), being stealth is extremely isolating, but being open as trans can bring harassment or people seeing you differently. Not many people wanted to be around me or talk to me anymore, even though they claimed to support me as my “true self”..
It’s a really lonely miserable experience and even the trans people I see who have accepting trans friends are usually also depressed and miserable.
Holy shit honestly same with the “anti girly girl” and thinking you’re superior for not advertising your transness constantly... I still remember trying to join a couple trans support groups and could never stay more than once or twice bc I could not relate to them AT ALL. I wanted to be a “real guy” who passed and who no one knew was trans, then when I actually became that it sucked and was super fucking isolating
Same with the health being a reason in detransitioning. Can I ask what happened with you health wise?
And do you know any other posts/places where ppl have said T gave them injuries or conditions? I’d love to read more about it, only have found 2-3 other people on this sub, but haven’t seen it discussed anywhere else. Idk if there’s any sites where female bodybuilders/ t users tend to go?
Yea I can relate to that a lot. I mean yea trans activists have gone way too far trying to force “girl sick or else you’re a transphobic nazi”... id def look for bi girls to date if I were you. But I don’t see why you can’t just hang ou with lesbians and be friends?
Thanks I just feel like no ones really taking the third name seriously and I feel humiliated af that most people are still calling me a guys name when I look very feminine now.
I wish I knew what people thought about me but no one even asks anything anymore, I honestly believe they think that I’m crazy or super far gone. I wish i just chose a gender neutral name in the first place cuz now everyone thinks I’m insane and most people don’t want anything to do with me cuz of all the confusion
When did I say I “went” fully gay? I still appreciated women when I was on T, the only reason I didn’t pursue them at the time was low self esteem. I also don’t think I truly liked guys then but was into them sexually almost to punish myself if that makes sense?
But the theory you gave makes sense as well. I’ve heard a lot of people who go on T say they realized they were bisexual.