This 100%. ‘Transitioning’ does not mean anything unless you are adhering to strict gender roles, usually ones set up by systems meant to oppress women and feminine roles. Men and women can dress, act, and even modify their bodies however they want, it doesn’t make them the opposite sex. Gender roles are made up by society, sex is an unchangeable physical characteristic.

I was very deep in this personally, and I see now that it was a cope I was using to not push myself into detransition. I am a science-minded person, and as such a part of me always knew transition was a ridiculous concept. But my psychological problems stopped me from accepting that, and as such I was pushed towards transmedicalism pseudoscience as a way to justify transition. I had truly deluded myself into thinking I have a ‘male brain’ and that my body being female was akin to a birth defect.

Once I finally worked through my internalized misogyny and other issues, it was clear to me that these transmedicalist ideas were all ridiculous and not scientifically-backed.

All of that ‘evidence’ is just more flimsy speculation though, in my opinion. Our human technology simply can’t explain the nature of the universe yet, so I think it’s silly to devote one’s life to some vague stories with no concrete, current evidence supporting it. There are plenty of strange occurrences of behavior among various groups in history, I personally believe that provides no real cause for believing in any of their religions.

Plus, there is plenty of evidence disproving Christianity as well, stuff that is tangible and modern.

Get off the internet and live in the real world. It puts into perspective how silly everything is. Love your body, it will always be your body and no amount of superficial changes will make you someone else. Be kind to yourself but don’t let yourself slide out of reality because you’re afraid of discomfort.

Just commenting to say I have a similar problem. I’ve been friends with a group of very stereotypical cishet guys for a long time and none of them know I’m female. I moved away a while ago and haven’t been back to visit, so we only interact on call/text these days, but I’d still say we’re pretty tight-knit. But even though I’ve been back to being a girl IRL for a really long time now, they all still only know me as a guy and I still use my ‘male’ voice when talking to them.

I have no idea how to tell them about me. At worst they’d obviously stop talking to me, but even at best I know things would never be the same between us if they knew I was a girl. Our friend group dynamic is, for lack of a better term, “the boys”. Guys don’t have friendships with girls the way they have them with each other, as much as it sucks. I still don’t know what to do about it even though I know I shouldn’t and can’t stall forever.

I would consider myself cured of dysphoria, but my answer to this still kind of depends. If the button were to just change my sex right now and then I continue my life as a cis male, I definitely wouldn’t do it. I’ve grown connected to this body and it would feel wrong to swap the sex, and I also quite enjoy having a vagina/breasts/curves now and would definitely miss having them. However, if I were to restart my life/have a new life and could choose my sex, I would choose to reborn as male for the privilege that I previously experienced when I passed.

I got mine back pretty much immediately, like 3-4 weeks I think. However T affects every woman differently and there’s really no telling how long it might take to come back for you.

Have you had your estrogen levels checked by a doctor since going off?

Generally once your voice has dropped, it’s dropped for good. However, it’s not necessarily unlikely for it to get a little lighter over time as you stay off T(though some people’s never lighten). But even that lightening won’t be a drastic change for most people, and it will still be much lower than your voice was before.

I’d look into voice training, especially if you already have any sort of singing background. I personally found great success in only a few short months, just by having vocal control from singing and trying to replicate how talking felt pre-T.

I have OCD and I think it was absolutely the root of all of this for me. When I began really working on my OCD I watched the dysphoria just disintegrate before my eyes, it was a crazy relieving experience. Highly recommend everyone feeling this way looks into OCD to see if they might have it.

Everyone is different obviously, so this might be nothing like your situation. But personally, I used to think I was bisexual/a lesbian but now am confident that I’m 100% straight. My confusion was definitely just me trying to fit in with all the lgbt people I was hanging out with, plus feeling very ashamed of being attracted to men. It made me feel weak to be put in the ‘woman’s place’ of a relationship where I felt some level of subservience to men was necessary, and pretending like I was attracted to women made me feel more like a man and thus more powerful. Once I got over my internalized misogyny(mostly.. still working on some of it), I got rid of that shame around my attraction to men and sexual interests and it was pretty clear to me then that I was straight.