This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative about their detransition/desistance experience.
- Empathy and tailored advice for different situations, which is complex for bots to replicate.
- Appropriate emotional depth, including anger at past sexism and relief at self-discovery, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner's passionate and personal perspective.
- No evidence of scripted, repetitive, or off-topic bot-like behavior.
About me
I started feeling a deep disconnect from my body, especially my breasts, when I was young. I believed I needed to be male to be happy, which I now see was rooted in internalized homophobia and sexism. I wanted to start testosterone as a teenager, but I'm so grateful now that I never did. Working on my mental health and understanding my identity as a butch lesbian was what truly helped me. I'm content now and understand my past discomfort was tied to much deeper issues.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was really confusing, and it took me a long time to untangle everything. I now understand that my thought that I was trans stemmed from a lot of different issues all mixed together: self-hate, body dysmorphia, and probably more.
When I was a kid, around 11, I didn't want to be a boy because I was a boy, but because of what I thought boys represented. They got all the attention, they were stronger and tougher, and girls were supposed to fall in love with them. I now see that was a lot of internalised sexism and it really messed with my head. I'm a lesbian, a butch one, and I think a part of me believed I'd be more attractive or more acceptable as a man. I also avoided the lesbian label for a long time because I convinced myself that compulsory heterosexuality ruled it out, but in the end, that was the right label for me.
I started from a place of just feeling wrong. I didn't feel right with my breasts. I would look in the mirror and have a disconnect between my body and me. There was this overwhelming feeling of "this isn't mine" when I saw my chest, and from a young age, I only wore sports bras to minimise it. It’s a feeling I still struggle with to some extent, but I now understand it as part of my experience of being butch. I was also exposed to a lot of trans stuff online from an early age and was curious. I learned that a lot of experiences between butches and trans men can line up, which added to my confusion.
On top of that, I've struggled with anorexia and body dysmorphia. I thought that if I could just change my body through medical transition, it would fix how I felt. I really wanted testosterone when I was 14, 15, and up to 17. But that's also around when I started questioning myself more and giving real thought to my feelings. I'm glad now that I waited. My dad was hesitant about me medically transitioning and I hated him for it at the time, but now I'm so grateful. Hormones and surgery are a lifelong commitment with effects that can't be reversed. I see them as a last resort after a lot of soul searching.
What really helped me was starting to better my overall mental health. Alleviating my depression and anxiety, and working on my overall health, is what actually helped with the feelings I called dysphoria. I found that by trying to analyse why I felt certain ways—what triggered certain feelings—I could get to the root of it. Some things that look like gender dysphoria can have completely different causes. I also had a fear of being a "faker" right before I detransitioned, which was a really shitty feeling, but getting past that allowed me to be much happier.
I never went through with any medical procedures. I only transitioned socially, and then later detransitioned socially as well. I don't regret exploring my identity, but I do have regrets about how deeply I believed I needed to be male to be happy. I'm content now with who I am, a butch lesbian, and I understand that my discomfort was tied up with internalised homophobia, sexism, and my mental health struggles.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
11 | Started feeling a disconnect from my body, especially my breasts, and began exploring different gender labels online. |
14 - 17 | Strongly wanted to start testosterone and identified as a trans man. |
17 | Began seriously questioning my gender identity, started therapy, and worked on underlying depression and anxiety. |
17 | Socially detransitioned after realizing my feelings were rooted in internalised homophobia, body dysmorphia, and an eating disorder. |
Present (Post-17) | Now identify as a butch lesbian. I understand my past discomfort as part of my journey and continue to manage body dysmorphia. |
Top Comments by /u/throwaway98765962:
My suggestion is to be casual about it like it’s nothing. Just bring it up in normal convo and be relaxed about it. I broke the news to my mom on a car ride when we were just talking, she mentioned how I did something that was feminine and I just said “yeah, I’m starting to think im actually a girl. And a lesbian” and she handled it really well. It was very casual and she even made a joke “guess we need to find a new name!”
It depends on the person, sure, but I’ve always found coming out in a really causal way is the best. You set the tone for it, so if you make it seem like not a big deal, they won’t make it a big deal. If they ask, I usually go “shits confusing” and laugh it off. It’s scary the first few times but you get the hang of it
If you’re having doubts, I suggest therapy to talk out your feelings about who you are, and who you wish to become.
My thought that I was trans stemmed from self hate, body dysmorphia, and probably more. As a kid, I didn’t want to be a boy because I was a boy, but because they got the attention, they were stronger, they were tougher and girls were supposed to fall in love with them. I’m a lesbian, a butch one too. I thought I’d be more attractive as a man. That internalised sexism really fucked with my head. It took years to figure myself out, and in those years, starting from age 11, I tried on so many labels. I avoided lesbian because I convinced myself that comp het ruled that one out, but in the end that one was the right label for me.
Be patient, try to analyse why you feel certain ways, what makes you feel others. You have time to figure yourself out. Especially with such a big thing like medical transition. I’ve found that alleviating by dysphoria/dysmorphia came with bettering my depression and anxiety, and overall health. I wish you the best of luck, and that one day you’ll be content with who you are, regardless on who that is.
From my perspective, this all sounds terrible. I wouldn’t blame you if this was the cause for your gender dysphoria. Personally, I’ve only seen men being this obviously sexist in movies and shows. I’m sorry you had to grow up with that. Please don’t downplay your struggles with this, just because it never got physical, doesn’t mean that it’s not serious.
My experience is that I didn’t feel right with my breasts. I would look in the mirror and have a disconnect between my body and me. There was this overwhelming feeling of “this isn’t mine” when I saw my chest, and from a young age I only wore sports bras to minimise It. It’s a feeling I still struggle with to some extent. I now take this feeling as my experience as being butch though. From an early age I was exposed to trans stuff, and was curious. A lot of experiences between butches and trans men can line up apparently.
I will also say that I had a lot of self hate, and hatred for my body that was another cause for my thinking I was Male. I struggle with anorexia, body dysmorphia and some other things. I thought changing my body like that would fix how I feel. If anything, it caused more upset in me in the long run.
I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do.
I’d say wait. I really wanted T when I was 14, 15 and up to 17. That’s around when I started questioning myself more and giving more thinking into my feelings. I’d suggest exploring other communities, read about the experiences of others that may be similar to how you feel.
Hormones and surgery is a lifelong commitment. Some of the effects cannot be reversed, and that’s why I suggest it as a last resort after some soul searching and really understanding the root of why you’re feeling the way you do. If you turn out trans, cool. If not, you just saved yourself a lot of hardship.
I wish you luck!
Nice! My dad did the same thing back in the day and I hated him for it lmao. In the end I’m glad. Just focus on trying to learn more about yourself, why you feel certain ways from certain things and so on. Some things that can be described as gender dysphoria can have different causes other than gender stuff. I’d also say don’t shy away from maybe trying different labels sometime and seeing how they fit. None gotta stick, of course. In general, I advise anyone to do some self exploration. In the end, just don’t let yourself put you in a box. You’re a person, and people are complicated and confusing. Shit like this is even tougher to figure out. I personally was scared of being a “”faker”” a bit before I detransitioned. It’s really shitty, but getting over that and I’m much happier. I hope you get to live your best, most comfortable life dude. Wish you the best in your journey through life.