This story is from the comments by /u/throwaway_5267 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's story is highly detailed, internally consistent, and emotionally complex, spanning personal history, medical details, and nuanced feelings about identity, community, and regret—all of which are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The language is natural, and the user engages with others in a supportive and conversational manner, which aligns with the passionate but genuine tone found in the detrans community.
About me
I was a feminine boy who thought my interests meant I was really a girl, especially since I grew up with my dad's homophobia. I started medical transition very young, and now, after stopping hormones, my body hasn't recovered its natural function. I almost had irreversible surgery but canceled it at the last minute, and I'm now realizing I'm a gender non-conforming man who internalized stereotypes. I'm scared to detransition socially because I'm afraid of losing my boyfriend and my community of female friends. I regret that I didn't understand sooner that I could just be a feminine man.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was very young. I was a feminine boy who liked what people called “girl things.” As a child, I genuinely thought that because I liked feminine stuff, it must mean I was actually a girl inside. That idea stuck with me. I also grew up with a lot of homophobia from my dad. I’m gay, and I think I resented that part of myself. I wanted to be born a straight girl so I could be accepted and loved by him. Weirdly enough, when I started to transition, my dad was totally on board. It felt good to be accepted by him finally, but now it makes me sad to realize he’d rather pretend I was a straight daughter than have a gay son.
I started medical transition really early. I was put on puberty blockers around age 9. I was on them for about three years before starting estrogen. Because of that, I never went through a male puberty. My voice never dropped, my bone structure stayed feminine, and my penis didn't develop properly. I was told a lot of the effects were reversible, but that hasn't been my experience. I’ve been off estrogen for six months now, and my body hasn’t bounced back at all. My testosterone levels seem to be nuked; I haven’t gotten any function back and I’m worried it might be permanent.
I lived as a woman for most of my life and I fit in well. I got breast implants and was planning to get bottom surgery—it was my life goal for so long. But as my surgery date got closer, I was suddenly consumed by this massive, unexplainable fear. I couldn't go through with it. Canceling it felt like a huge mistake at the time, but now I'm so glad I did. I would have deeply regretted it. Looking back, I can't even understand why I hated my body so much.
Now, I’m beginning to understand that I’m just a gender non-conforming man. I don’t have an issue with being male itself; my problem was with the stereotypes and the homophobia I internalized. I thought the only way I could be myself—a feminine person who likes men—was to become a woman. I’m starting to detransition socially, but it’s scary. I’m worried about losing my support system. I have a straight boyfriend and a lot of female friends, and I fit in with them as “one of the girls.” I’m afraid that if I stop identifying as a woman, I won’t belong anywhere. I won’t be welcome in male spaces, and I’ll lose the community I have.
I don’t plan to stop wearing feminine clothes or doing my makeup. I’m going to get my breast implants removed eventually, but for now, I’m not doing anything else to my body. I don’t want to take testosterone because I’m afraid I’ll just look like a masculine girl or an unattractive man. I’m very short with a small frame, and T can’t change that. I’m also scared of side effects like male pattern baldness.
I do have some regrets, especially about starting medical transition so young. It caused me serious health complications; my bone density is messed up, and I’m now infertile and have lost penile function, probably for good. I regret that I didn't understand that clothes and hobbies don't have a gender. I don't need to give up my femininity to be a man. I just need to be myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | Started puberty blockers. |
| 12 | Started estrogen (HRT). |
| 20 | Began to question my transition and understand I was gender non-conforming. |
| 21 | Cancelled my planned bottom surgery (SRS) due to a last-minute panic. |
| 21 | Stopped estrogen after being on it for ~9 years. |
| 21 | Began social detransition, telling my partner and family I no longer identify as a woman. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/throwaway_5267:
That's what happened to me, as a child I thought being feminine and liking "girls things" means I'm a girl. I'm 20 now, beginning to understand that I'm just gender non conforming. Good thing you realised there is nothing wrong with you quite early on
The worst imo are higher risk of heart issues and total loss of penile function. In case of blockers specifically it'll stunt the penile growth, and they might never be able to get hard or ejaculate even if they quit HRT on adulthood. It's also bad for transwomen who want to get SRS, if their penile growth was stunt at a young age it's impossible to have SRS through the best technique and they have to resort to ones that leave worse results.
I've been on lurking on this sub for over a year now and I haven't seen anyone be hostile. People are generally really nice. Many trans people believe we're transphobic because any slight disagreement is considered transphobia in their eyes. The bar is really low
I have female friends who simply have short hair and dress tomboyish, they get called "he" all the time although their face and body proportions are clearly female. Some people are just bad at gendering and others assume non hyper-fem women probably identify as something other than women then call them "he" or avoid gendering at all in order to be polite. Don't stress about it too much, most people can probably tell you're a woman although they might be reluctant to address you as such
I wasn't affirmed into this by the trans community, but this sort of gender stereotype definitely influenced my transition. My silly child brain thought "I like girl's stuff = I am a girl" and I was affirmed by my dad who definitely prefers having a straight daughter than a gay son
Wow! Are you me?? I'm 21 y.o MtFtM, I've been flirting with detransition for a while now but haven't done anything about it mostly because of my straight boyfriend and the fact that I 'fit in' better as a girl. I prefer having a feminine body too.
You don't need to want to masculinize to detrans, you don't need to conform to gender norms. But if safety is the only reason why you consider detransitioning, I think you could consider moving to a different place instead. Safety should come first either way!
I feel like a lot of people say clothes have no gender but they don't genuinely believe it. As soon as a man dresses or behaves in a way that is considered feminine, people are quick to assume he's something other than a man. They mean well with this egg stuff but fail to realise it does nothing but reinforce gender stereotypes. I struggled to understand that I don't need to give up my "femininity" to detrans.
Hey, congratulations 🥰 "un coming out" (interesting term haha) can be quite scary. I admire your courage. You're trying to look at the bright side, and that's great. When I quit HRT I felt "weird" too and wasn't quite sure it was right for me, I think it's normal to feel "weird" after being on a certain path for so long, give yourself some time to adjust to your new reality. I don't understand what you mean by religious fear though, is it fear of hell?
I objectively understand there's no right or wrong way of being a man, but still feel like I'd be a failure of a man. I've lived as girl for most of my life, I fit in well, while as a guy I'm a deviant. It's very hard to "let go". I know lots of guys love makeup, do their nails, wear dresses etc, but all of that coupled up with my small frame means I'll never be read as male. Which I'm not super upset about, but then I think what's the point? I feel like at the moment I stop publicly IDing as a woman I'll lose my support system. I won't be one of the girls anymore, but I'll definitely not be welcome in male spaces either. Thank you for the good wishes 💗
I was on blockers for around 3 years prior to HRT. I hoped my T levels would naturally go up a bit once I was off E. But it's been six months and physically nothing happened. I don't expect my bone structure to change of course, but I was hoping to recover penile function. I'm not sure if my body needs more time, or if my T levels are nuked forever. I feel better off E, I'm tired of injections. I don't want to have to replace T for the rest of my life either. I'm very short with a feminine bone structure I'm definitely going to look weird if I grow a beard and stuff. Some body pics for reference: https://imgur.com/a/ThXypdS (sfw)