This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or not a real detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are:
- Cohesive and specific, showing a consistent, passionate perspective rooted in radical feminist theory.
- Personally engaged, offering empathetic advice and sharing personal struggles (e.g., attention span, anorexia).
- Contextually appropriate for the subreddit, displaying the expected anger and criticism toward gender ideology and patriarchy that is common among detransitioners.
The account behaves like a genuine, opinionated person within this community.
About me
I started feeling wrong in my body as a teenager, especially when I developed breasts, but I now see that was tied to my eating disorder and the influence of online communities that convinced me I was trans. I transitioned to live as a man for several years, taking testosterone and having top surgery, hoping it would fix my depression. Eventually, I realized I wasn't running from being female, but from the misogyny and homophobia that made being a lesbian woman feel so difficult. I've stopped hormones and have come to accept myself as a masculine lesbian woman, though I live with the permanent regret of losing my fertility. My journey taught me that my problem was never my body, but a world that devalues women.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when I hit puberty and developed breasts. I hated them; they felt alien and wrong on me. I now see this as a mix of puberty discomfort and the body dysmorphia that came from my eating disorder. I was severely anorexic and had very low self-esteem. I spent a lot of time online, and that’s where I was influenced into thinking all these feelings meant I was trans.
I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like an escape from the pressure of being a woman. I was also dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia. I’m a lesbian, and the way lesbianism was portrayed, or the way gay men acted, made me want to distance myself from it all. It felt like the only way to be gay was to be this caricature, and I wanted no part of that. I thought transitioning was the only way out.
I socially transitioned and lived as a man for several years. I took testosterone. I got top surgery. I was convinced this was the solution to my deep depression and anxiety. For a little while, it felt like it was working. I felt powerful in a way I never had before, because I was being treated like a man. But that feeling didn't last.
The cracks started to show. I began to realize that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was trying to run away from the realities of being a woman in a patriarchal world. I was daydreaming about being someone else. Reading radical feminist theory and spending time in communities with other detransitioned women was what finally woke me up. It helped me understand that my problem wasn’t with being female; my problem was with how women are treated. I hated the misogyny, not my own body.
I benefited immensely from this non-affirming therapy, which was really just engaging with these feminist ideas. It helped me fix my relationship with my body and finally address my anorexia. I stopped taking testosterone. I don’t regret my top surgery; having a flat chest feels right for me and aligns with how I see myself, which I now understand is just as a masculine woman. But I do have some regrets about transitioning medically. I’m now infertile, and that is a permanent consequence I have to live with. I didn't fully understand the weight of that decision when I made it.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s a social hierarchy used to oppress women. Men, including gay men, still benefit from patriarchy. I saw how gay men often get a pass for being misogynistic, using slurs against women, and perpetuating stereotypes through things like drag, and it made me angry. It made me see that my initial instinct to escape womanhood was because it is so devalued. I’m not a man. I am a woman, a lesbian, and I’m learning to be proud of that.
Age | Event |
---|---|
14 | Started puberty. Felt intense discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
15-16 | Developed anorexia and severe body dysmorphia. Spent a lot of time online. |
17 | Influenced by online communities, began to identify as non-binary. |
18 | Socially transitioned and began living as a man. |
19 | Started taking testosterone. |
21 | Underwent top surgery. |
23 | Began questioning my transition after engaging with radical feminist ideas. |
24 | Stopped testosterone. Accepted myself as a detransitioned lesbian woman. |
Top Comments by /u/throwaway_texasgirl:
yeah because men get to have their cake and eat it. They hold all the power, money that patriarchy confers them, while ALSO enjoying feminine things (and monetizing them in the case of RuPaul). Meanwhile, women who show the slightest deviance from prescribed gender norms are immediately pathologized as trans. Because truly masculine women who reject female socialization are the biggest threat to patriarchy, and trans identified males know this. They have a vested interest in keeping the patriarchy alive.
Hello me from 5 years ago. I could have written every single word of that, down to the daydreaming.
It gets better I promise. For me what helped was just reading up on feminist theory, trying to understand why women are treated the way they are. Look up radical feminism, I think that might have the answers to a lot of your questions. Apart from that, just working on your general health. Try fixing the anorexia first. I know easier said than done.
You're very young, and trust me you will overcome this. You got this.
But what I've seen lead me to think that the only way to be gay was to be this hypermasculine paradigm, some REALLY loud and obnoxious limp wristed twink who kept copying black women for some reason, or just... a degenerate who had no problem letting EVERYONE know in grotesque detail what he gets off on. "These are your fucking representatives", is basically what the world told me.
HAHA this part made me laugh with the level of accuracy. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story ❤️
No don't apologize, I totally get you. A lot of what you said also applies to women, and that fuelled my internalized misogyny and desire to transition. Calling everything and anything "Zionist", supporting and cheering on Oct 7. I especially hate how women have zero guts to stand up to gay men and tell them to knock it off, whether it be using the 'c' slur, 'b' slur, drag, you name it. Obviously the onus is on gay men not to do these misogynistic things in the first place, but you can't deny that women enable and celebrate this behavior as well.
As for whether your friend is playing dumb or actually dumb...I'm gonna go with the cynical view and say he knows exactly what he's doing. He knows how hurtful it would be if he was called a f*gt, and yet he chooses to use womanphobic slurs? He knows how offensive blackface is, and yet he supports drag? Gay men are still men, and at the end of the day the patriarchy still caters to them, just maybe not as much as a straight man. Especially with drag ugh, you notice how there's no female equivalent? Drag kings are so unknown, and they're portrayals are nowhere near as offensive. It's literally a boys only club like the military, or sports, and yet no one seems to call it out.
I'm not much of a reader personally, I have a very bad attention span. I mostly get radfem discourse on r/fourthwavewomen, there are a LOT of detrans women and lesbians there. For books, others have recommended the Second Sex by Simon de Beuvoir, and literally anything at all written by Andrea Dworkin. Hope this helps!