This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and contain personal anecdotes (e.g., detailed experiences with pregnancy, birth control, and self-image) that are consistent and difficult to fabricate. The language is passionate and empathetic, aligning with the expected perspective of a desister who is concerned about the potential harms of rapid medical transition.
About me
I was a teenager when I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my developing female body and found support in online trans communities. I realized those groups were pushing a dangerous narrative that my normal insecurities meant I needed to medically transition. I'm grateful I trusted my doubts and never took hormones or had surgery, instead working through my issues with regular therapy. After having my daughter, I struggled with my changing body all over again, but motherhood finally helped me see my strength and practice true acceptance. I now believe my discomfort was a part of growing up that didn't require a permanent medical solution.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with the changes happening to my body during puberty. I hated developing breasts and felt a lot of anxiety and depression about growing into a woman. I now believe a lot of that discomfort was a normal part of growing up and the realization of the adult responsibilities that were coming. I was also struggling with low self-esteem and didn't feel like I measured up to traditional beauty ideals.
I spent a lot of time online in trans communities looking for answers and for people who felt the same way I did. The support felt good at first, but I started to see a lot of propaganda and pressure. People in these groups were very quick to tell me that my feelings meant I was trans and that medical transition was the answer. They made it seem like any doubt was just proof that I was trans, which I now think is a really dangerous way to think. It felt almost like grooming, pushing a vulnerable young person down a specific path.
I was smart enough to be suspicious of this, and I'm so grateful I listened to that doubt. I never went through with any medical transition. I didn't take hormones or get any surgeries. I realized that my problems with my body were tied to other issues—my depression, my anxiety, and just the general difficulty of being a teenage girl. I decided to step away from those online groups completely. It was hard because I wanted to belong, but it was the best decision I ever made.
Instead, I focused on other things. I threw myself into my hobbies and spent time with my friends and family in real life. I got therapy for my anxiety and depression, which was not gender-affirming therapy, and it helped me work through my issues without changing my body. I learned to practice self-care and body acceptance. It was a long process, but over time, I became more comfortable with myself.
I later went on the contraceptive pill for many years, which stopped my periods, and coming off that was difficult enough. It took over a year for my cycle to become regular again, and it gave me a small glimpse into how hard it must be for people to come off cross-sex hormones. I also experienced pregnancy, which was incredibly difficult for me physically and mentally. I hated the changes to my body all over again—the darker nipples, the stretch marks, the "mum tum." But becoming a mother changed my perspective. My daughter helped me see my body in a new light, as something strong that created life. I couldn't hate myself when this little person thought I was the best thing in the world.
Looking back, I have no regrets about not transitioning. I regret the time I spent in those online spaces that made me feel worse. I now believe that for me, transition would have been a drastic solution to problems that were better solved with introspection and therapy. My thoughts on gender are that it's a complex thing, and for many young people, discomfort is a normal part of life that doesn't require permanent medical alteration. I'm glad I found a path of acceptance instead.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty, began feeling intense discomfort with my developing female body. |
| 15-17 | Struggled with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Joined online trans communities. |
| 18 | Realized the online influence was harmful and left all trans groups. Began focusing on therapy and other hobbies. |
| 19 | Started taking the contraceptive pill, which stopped my periods. |
| 31 | Stopped taking the contraceptive pill; it took over a year for my menstrual cycle to regulate. |
| 32 | Became pregnant; experienced significant body discomfort during and after pregnancy. |
| 33 | Gave birth to my daughter; began a new journey of body acceptance through motherhood. |
Top Comments by /u/throwawayaz26:
You put in a comment to someone else "except general anxiety and depression". That's a huge 'except' and those are difficult and mentally challenging disorders in the first place. Depression affects how you feel about yourself, your self esteem, mood etc. I would try to get therapy (but not a gender therapist) to explore other issues besides gender as changing gender may not be the magic answer you think to those problems. You could become fully trans and still feel the same way due to your depression/GAD.
Feeling this way about out body is a normal part of puberty. As changes happen it's normal to be uncomfortable with these and the realisation that it means you're on the way to adulthood and the responsibilities and burdens that entails.
There's lots of questions to ask yourself. Is it you don't like the role/stereotype females play in society? Is it you don't like the sexualisation that comes with female body part development? Is it that you're unsure of your own sexuality so feel dysphoric about the things that make you female? Is it the traditional beauty ideals and you don't feel you measure up? Is it comments others have said that have impacted your self esteem? Is it friendships? Is it comparing yourself to the way males are treated? Etc
I think transition needs a lot more thought and introspection of why you would like to transition. If you begin medical transition it's permanent. Permanent, irreversible changes to your body you could regret. Not gender, but when I was younger I was adamant I was going to get a huge tattoo on my ankle. A few years passed and I'm so glad I didn't. Any big changes like that you should wait at least a year to see if it's what you really want. If you're young, wait until 21.
The other thing is being active in trans groups you're going to find individuals that give you biased views or views skewed a certain way. There's a lot of propaganda, pressure and idealisation about being trans. They may pick up apects of your experience and say yep "you're trans". However many other teenagers/ young adults may feel the same as you but not automatically jump to that conclusion. It's so so normal to be uncomfortable with your body. Every individual has things they don't like. Maybe consider a body acceptance route than alteration.
And spend less time/cold turkey in trans groups. It's hard and you want to find 'people like you' and feel that acceptance and encouragement. Same with groups for depression where everyone just talks about how unhappy they are. It's nice to feel not alone but it's not healthy in the long run and will only serve to spiral lower. Try to find support with non-trans peers of your own age, therapy, books meant for your age group. Find hobbies, interests, activities beyond worrying about your gender. Throw yourself into what makes you happy.
I started composing this comment (didn't finish before your reply) but haven't gone through all the advice you've been given. This was just for the first reply in a trans group to you I read.
I've looked through your post history and feel so so angry at some of the advice you received I felt I had to post. Please please leave the trans groups, I'm pretty much begging you. I worry youre going to go down a painful and difficult route unnecessarily and going to regret it. You're so young, vulnerablw and shouldn't have this propaganda to push you down this route. To me it's almost like a peadophile grooming someone underage.
"Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition. Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis. Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis." Remeber that Cis and doubts does not equal trans too. This is stupid, if you have doubts you have doubts for a reason. You don't feel doubt when you're sure of something. When you have doubt thats because your brain is telling you to reconsider.
"Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a girl. " If you dont mind being a girl STAY A GIRL. Why transition with severe side effects if you dont mind being female and aren't miserable?!?
This was just the first comment to you. It's so awful
Apologies it's not exactly what you asked but may be useful regardless. Not after testosterone but I was on the contraceptive pill for over 12 years from a young teen (multiple reasons for this). It took many months for even regularish cycle (the length could change by 2 weeks variability when I say regular) and well over a year to become pregnant. It was heartbreaking when it seemed everyone around me was getting positive pregnancy tests or accidentally falling pregnant and for me it wasn't happening. My doctor was just about to start some medication (I'm sorry I don't know what) which was suposoed to help regulate or something when coincidentally I became pregnant just before I was about to start it. I assume it might take some time in a similar way with other hormones such as coming off testeosterone as you will have to wait for your normal ones to regulate and kick in. I never transitioned and I wouldn't say I had severe dysphoria but periods starting again (I took consequaitive pill packets so I only had 4 a year) and being pregnant was really tough. I hated the whole pregnancy and birth. I couldn't face breastfeeding and hated the wait for milk to dry up. Now she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't regret a thing. But I've said I'm not doing it again to have another.
ETA I've only just seen detrans replies only. I'll delete if you ask.
I agree, when you're impressionable or young and theres so many voices saying 'do this' it's hard to ingnore. Please PM her or at least tell her to read this post. It's not too late to make the difference to someone's life. It's crazy when she didn't want to transition.
Replying directly to this now. No if you're questioning you're gender it does NOT mean you're trans. And trans is completely separate from sexuality. Again you're still young and don't have to 100% have that figured out yet either.
Fingers crossed you can see your therapist sooner rather than later. In the meantime do good self care, have a relaxing bath with candles, go for a walk outside and get some fresh air, stay in touch with your friends in real life (have online chats, do a virtual pub quiz, order a Japanese sweet box and all try new sweets at the same time online, send memes, try recipies).
Again please drop the self harm subreddits. Like I said before throw yourself into happiness rather than brooding on what makes you miserable. Find subreddits like r/aww which make you happy. What interests do you have (animals, books, cooking, cakes, TV program, certain film, music, nature, waterfalls, hair, decor) etc anything and sign up to those instead and do things you enjoy.
You sound smart and can spot when you're being manipulated. Lots of groups might play your parents/friends as enemies and being not supportive if they dare to question transitioning etc. If you've got good parents/friends and they've been there for you in the past please keep them as your main allies and support network. Don't get isolated from your family (this goes for any future relationships too).
If you feel you can, talk to her and share what you're feeling. When you're feeling down, don't forget to ask for a hug (works miracles!). I'm very confident you'll be okay and get past this. You might end up being trans, most likely you won't. But you've got people there who care about you and love you, it's awful right now but I promise it's gets better. You have no idea what amazing things the future holds for you. This experience will also from part of your outlook on things in future, this is just part of your growth. Good luck :)
Thanks, it's hard work being a parent, not going to lie. There's times when you cry, times when you're just so worn down and tired you don't think you can go on, times when the monotony gets too much. But then there's amazing times and I have the best little girl ever. Seeing her grow up into this amazing, kind, beautiful, intelligent, loveable human. Her giggles of laughter, her childlike perspective on things I'd never notice, cuddles, splashing in the bath, sharing, reading stories etc. It's worth it.
If you have got more questions on pregnancy I'll answer but my experience was worst than most people's so don't think I'm representative. It was 6 months after birth before I even felt anywhere close to being 'me'. My body also changed too which triggered a whole set of dislike but in a different way, I view it as battle scars now. I hated my nipples getting darker, I hated my stretch marks, I hated my 'mum tum'. But I changed somewhat, you can't hate yourself as much when this little human thinks you're the best thing in the world. It's so so important to me I don't give her self esteem, body confidence issues by her learning bad things from me, and so in turn I've come to accept myself more.
Yep that's the one, click on the users name. They have to accept to read your message though so may choose to ignore it.
I'm sorry you're feeling all those side effects, I think that's a normal thing. It's just spelled at this magical cure all and these sorts of things aren't talked about enough. I'm sure you're amazing with T or without T!
I'm used to taking contraceptive and sometimes it's several placebo pills before period starts.
If it doesn't happen at all contact your doctor for advice, but it's most likely what they said that it may take some time.
Very few of us will be medical professionals and this is a question to your prescriber if it doesn't return. But for only being the second placebo pill give it a couple more days.