This story is from the comments by /u/throwawayeffoff that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed history: They share specific, multi-faceted experiences with transition (9+ years on T), detransition, and the long-term physical and social consequences (voice changes, hair, body shape, breast forms, name changes).
- Internal consistency: Their views on regret, self-acceptance, and criticism of gender ideology are consistent and developed over many comments.
- Emotional complexity: They express a wide range of genuine, nuanced emotions—anger, regret, sadness, self-consciousness, and hope—that align with the stated passion and pain of the detransition experience.
- Practical engagement: They offer detailed, practical advice to others on topics like wigs, swimwear, and shaving, which suggests lived experience.
The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions expected from someone who has lived through this experience.
About me
I started identifying as a trans boy at 15 while struggling with severe depression, and I was quickly given testosterone and a double mastectomy. My parents were pressured by doctors to support it, and I now deeply regret the permanent changes to my body and voice. A major health scare from testosterone showed me the medical system couldn't be trusted with my well-being. After years of feeling disconnected, I finally accepted that I am, and always was, a woman. I'm now focused on moving forward and learning to live peacefully in the body I have.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. It started when I was just 15 years old. I was a teenager struggling with severe depression and was in and out of psychiatric units, trying different medications. I felt uncomfortable with puberty and my developing body, and I think I just didn't understand the complexities of being a woman in society. I picked up on the discomfort and negative feelings but was too young to understand the pressure we are all under. Out of nowhere, I claimed to be a trans boy, and suddenly the medical system had something new to try. My HRT and double mastectomy were used as a treatment for my depression and suicidal ideation, which is completely fucked up.
My parents didn't support it at first. They were talked into it and basically forced to support it by medical professionals who told them it was better to have an alive son than a dead daughter. They were treated like bigoted assholes until they gave in. I still hold a lot of guilt for that.
I started taking testosterone and had top surgery at 16. For the surgery, they purposefully left some breast tissue behind to help contour my chest for a masculine appearance. I lived as a trans man for many years. While on T, I felt some initial positive effects; testosterone can have an anti-depressant effect, so my mood lifted a bit, but that doesn't mean my brain was a "man's brain." Any person taking testosterone would likely feel that.
But I also had serious health complications. I got polycythemia, which is a dangerous condition where my blood became too thick. I was told to immediately stop T, take blood thinners, and donate blood because I was at a high risk for a blood clot, heart attack, or stroke. What’s even crazier is that when I saw a different, "trans-affirming" doctor later, she told me the first doctor overreacted, that almost all trans men get polycythemia and it's no big deal—just donate blood. That showed me clearly that these people did not have a good enough grasp on this to be trusted with my physical health.
I stopped testosterone about nine years ago. It took me a long, long time after that to actually admit I was detransitioning. I was disconnected from myself for years. A big turning point for me was a psychedelic mushroom trip that made me realize a lot of things. It helped me see that I was just making my life way more difficult than it needed to be.
I came to understand that there isn't a "feminine side" quarantined off from a "masculine side." All there is is you. Whatever you decide to clothe yourself in or however you decide to perceive yourself doesn't change your core. I don't "feel" any more female now than I felt male when I was living as trans. I just had to come to terms with the fact that I exist, like any other animal. I'm not any more special than any other living being.
I’ve had to deal with the permanent changes from my transition. My voice is still deep, but it has lightened somewhat over the years off T. It’s in an androgynous zone now; sometimes I get called ‘sir’ on the phone and then ‘ma’am’ when they see me. I’m still highly self-conscious about it. My body shape changed back to a more feminine frame after stopping T, even though I’m still overweight. I carry my weight in a feminine, curvy way now.
My top surgery is a permanent reminder. My breasts don’t grow back; the tissue that was left has grown a bit from hormone fluctuations and weight gain, but it doesn’t look like breasts. It’s more on the sides and armpits, with nothing in the middle. It looks deflated. I use silicone breast forms that my insurance covers because they are marketed for women who have had mastectomies from cancer. They significantly increase my self-esteem. I’ve looked into reconstructive surgery with fat grafting instead of implants, as a possible option for the future.
Socially, detransitioning has been a process. I legally changed my name back to my birth name earlier this year. It was effortless for my family to adjust back to, and it’s the sound everyone associates with me. It felt right to go back to it. Getting all my records updated was awkward at times—sometimes people thought I was a trans woman and would say "live your truth, girl!" which was uncomfortable.
Now that I’m seen as a woman again, I notice how differently I’m treated. As a man, I was listened to and my opinions were respected. As a woman, I get talked over and down to much more often; I’m treated like I’m an idiot. But there are positives too: people are nicer and more helpful, and random women aren’t apprehensive or intimidated by me anymore.
I do have regrets. I regret the entire medical process. I was a mentally ill teenager who couldn’t conceptualize the long-term risks. When you’re that young and depressed, you think you’re invincible, and the warnings go in one ear and out the other. I made a mistake. Acknowledging that regret is part of learning and growing. It doesn’t mean I didn’t know the potential outcomes; it means I admit I made a wrong choice for my life.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s not some internal soul or identity. The word "woman" is a noun that means adult human female. It’s not about feelings. We don’t get to choose our bodies; we are thrust into this world and have to make the most of what we are given. My goal now is to accept myself, move forward, and focus on other things in life. I’m trying to remove myself from the constant online debate and just live my life as a woman, in peace.
Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
15 | Began identifying as transgender and started testosterone (T) |
16 | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery) |
~17 | Diagnosed with polycythemia, a dangerous side effect of T, and was told to stop T immediately |
~24 | Stopped testosterone (approximately 9 years ago from the time of my comments) |
~24 to ~33 | Lived in a state of disconnect, knowing internally I was detransitioning but not acting on it |
~33 | Had a psychedelic experience that was a major turning point in my self-acceptance |
33 | Legally changed my name back to my birth name and began socially detransitioning fully |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/throwawayeffoff:
The social upbringing we have as female vs males can never really be erased, I think. Trans women were not raised with the same limitations/expectations as females are, just like Trans men will never fully be socially the same as cis men because we can't ever go back to birth and be raised differently. Like no matter how much i may have physically passed as a male at one point, there are social signs you just can never fully escape.
Overall, society trains girls to be quiet, polite, to put other people before ourselves. To be caring and nurturing and to be overly concerned about how we effect other people. How our actions might effect other people and to always be aware of that.
Males are not raised that way. They are raised to be louder, take up space, be unapologetic , "me first" etc. I notice Trans women still most often have this overbearing quality where their comfort is most important. Cis women by and large are conditioned to care about others comfort at the expense of our own comfort. But Trans women tend to still think "me first, my comfort first" example being... women's sex designated locker rooms, bathrooms. Or insisting they need a pap smear or something ridiculous.
You see it alot in the Trans community itself between ftm and mtfs, how ftms are told to be quiet and listen, Trans women are the ones who need the platform, their voices are most important. The ftm sit down and shut up because that's how they are raised socially as little girls. The Trans women overtake the convo and importance, as they were raised to do as little Boys.
I don't think you can be "born in the wrong body" because life just... is. Maybe I'd prefer the life of a cat too, but that's not the life I was given. We are all thrust into a cold, uncaring world and we make the most of what we are given. Some people are born with disfiguring conditions, with an extra arm half formed growing out of the other, there are infants with cancer or heart defects that they won't see past the age of 3. We don't get to choose our bodies, nobody does.
And our mind is intimately intertwined with every function of our physical body so we can't seperste the two. The health of both are important together.
I had my double mastectomy when I was 16 and also obviously struggling with mental health. My parents did not support it. They were talked into it and basically forced to support it by being told that I will commit suicide, it's better to have an alive son than a dead daughter. They were treated like bigoted assholes until they gave in. And I still hold a lot of guilt for that personally but i was a known mentally ill teen and the medical establishment played off my parents emotions.
My HRT/double mastectomy was used as a TREATMENT for my depression and suicidal ideation! Seriously how fucked is that, a young teenager, in and out of the psych unit and trying different antidepressants/psych meds suddenly, out of nowhere claims to be a Trans boy..... "oh!! Now we have something to work with! Here's some testosterone and surgeries to treat your instability"
Shits a joke.
It's like nobody understands what regret means. I know not everyone here feels regret but I DO. Even if I knew all the potential outcomes of HRT and and chose to go through with it I'm still allowed to feel regret. Regret doesn't mean I had no clue these things would happen. It means I admit I made a mistake. A wrong choice. I thought id be happy as a Trans man and I wasn't. I made a mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Why is everyone so terrified of acknowledging people can make mistakes? Oh...I know. Because then currently Trans people might realize we were just like them, fully convinced, and if we were fully convinced and then feel regret, they could feel regret and feel like they made a mistake 2, 4, or 10 years from now as well.
My new years resolution is to completely remove myself from this entire conversation, not read Trans hate about detrans people anymore and to move forward as a woman with other shit to do. Following what Trans people think of me just adds bitterness to my life.
Feels like I could have written this, on every single point tbh. I was 15 when I transitioned also. At 15, we are too young to understand the complexities of being a woman in society. We pick up on discomfort and negative feelings but we simply do not understand the complexity. Like we may assume other women are naturally performing to standards instead of understanding the pressure that we are all under. We seperate ourselves from other women because we are too young to understand that we are all under the same boot, coping with it however we can. Transitioning is just another attempt at coping with being born female but it makes us no different at the core. We were young and trying to cope with limited understanding.
I feel this is definitely partially directed at my post from earlier, in which I totally agree with you, I need to stop being a doormat. I have pretty bad social anxiety and fear of confrontation. I really want to overcome this though, because not just on this topic. But on many topics I stifle myself. I'm intelligent and would be plenty capable of winning debates if I didn't turn into a scared little mouse around people.
Anyway, I agree with you and gunna take it to heart and work on my courage more.
It feels really good to not live in a constant state of self observation and self correcting our voices and mannerisms. Welcome back to yourself!. You can walk and move just naturally how you do, talk as your voice naturally comes out of your body and guess what....you are you. And you have always been you this entire time, but now the pressure is off. Now you can just exist and not have to try so hard every moment. It's exciting! Happy for you.
Someone who is experiencing mental illness and distress should in no way whatsoever be getting a double mastectomy. Same happened to me, it was very known that I was having a lot of mental health problems, it wasn't a secret. I shouldn't have been operated on
I got polycythemia on T which is a somewhat common side effect and very dangerous, my blood was so thick that I was told to immediately stop taking the T, take blood thinners AND to go donate blood because I was at close risk of a blood clot, heart attack or stroke.
Crazier thing is when I saw a "Trans affirming" Dr later on and they told me that the other Dr *overreacted' and that. In her words, almost all Trans men get polycythemia and it's no big deal, to just donate blood, no worries.
Thay is just insane to me and showed me clearly that these people do not have a good enough grasp on this to be trusted with my physical health.