This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, evolving perspective on their own long-term transition and subsequent regret. The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal reflection that is difficult to fake. The advice given is specific, empathetic, and aligns with the passionate and often painful experiences shared by genuine detransitioners.
About me
I started transitioning to male as a young teen because everyone told me my masculine interests meant I wasn't female. I lived that way for a decade, but it only brought me constant anxiety instead of the freedom I was promised. I realized that true self-acceptance comes from within and doesn't require changing your body to fit a stereotype. Now, I am detransitioning and learning to embrace myself as a female, though I'm scared of making future mistakes. I finally understand that my hobbies and personality are just me, not a gender, and that gives me hope.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was really young. I was a female, but I always displayed what people called male tendencies. I couldn't picture myself as a female, and pretty much everyone I met, except for my family, told me that this meant I was probably trans. They said transitioning was the right decision and that it would finally set me free to be my true self.
I believed them. I transitioned and lived as a male for ten years. For the first couple of years, I was happy. I felt like I had solved the problem. But that feeling didn't last. After about two or three years, the anxiety started to set in. I realized that freedom after transition is a lie. You don't feel free; you feel constantly anxious, trying to be man enough or woman enough. You start over-analyzing every social situation, things that most people never even think about. There is no peace in changing your gender.
I spent a decade living that way, and every day became a kind of torment. I constantly felt like I was in the wrong existence, and it was my own fault. I came to understand that who you are isn't about your gender; it's about your interactions, your hobbies, your interests, and your friendships. Nothing you put into your body or do to your body is going to truly make you into how you think you should be.
By the time I was 22, I had a major realization. I felt that if I had just waited and allowed myself to mature, I would have grown into understanding and accepting myself as the female I was born. I was uncomfortable with myself when I was younger, but that discomfort is something you can grow out of as you meet more people and learn what it truly means to be you. You are a product of how you grew up—your culture, your gender, all the things you might hate right now—and those things are what make you unique.
For me, transitioning was a cover-up. I think a lot of people in the trans community find a deep sense of belonging there, and that's why they don't regret it; they're rooted in that social aspect. But for me, it wasn't a lasting solution. We have to learn to accept ourselves as we are. So what if you like to wear makeup and have long hair? That doesn't mean you need to be a woman. If the people around you are fine with it, that's good. You shouldn't change yourself physically because others expect it or because you think you have to.
I don't regret my transition because it led me to this understanding, but I do regret the pain and the constant anxiety it caused. I regret not seeing sooner that gender never really mattered. You can be who you are without altering yourself. Coming to this conclusion was really hard, but reading through stories from others who felt the same made me feel hopeful. It made me realize I'm not alone and that this isn't a doomed road.
Now, I'm scared about my next big life decisions, like where I'm moving this year. I'm scared to make another huge mistake. I'm young, but I feel like I'm running out of time. But I'm also starting to realize that I have more power over my life than I thought. I just have to be careful and trust myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Child | Always displayed male tendencies, could not imagine myself as female. |
| ~12 | Began social transition, started living as male. |
| ~13 | Started taking hormones. |
| ~22 | Realized transitioning was a mistake and began to detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/throwbinthisaccount:
Keep reading through this sub, you might feel a bit more hopeful.. coming to this conclusion is hard. Especially when you start to realise that gender never mattered and you can be who you are without altering yourself. Many people have detransitioned and live happily as themself, youre not alone and it's not a doomed road.
Let me tell you about myself
I am an FTM and ever since I was a child I displayed male tendencies. I could never imagine myself as a female nor could anyone I ever surrounded myself with (other than my family). Everybody told me that this was the right decision for me and that I could finally be free and be me.
That is a lie.
Freedom after transition is bull... You don't feel free after, you feel anxious constantly trying to be man or woman enough. You over analyse social situations, that most people do not even consider. Although your analysis might be right it is anxiety provoking. There is no peace in changing gender.
Nothing you put into yourself is truly going to make you how you think you should be. You are who you are based on your interactions, hobbies, interests, friendships and other things.
I was happy as a male after my transition until 2/3 years later, I have been living as male for 10 years. I don't think it is easy to understand until you have put yourself through it but just know that everyday, for me, is torment. I constantly feel like I am in the wrong existence at my own fault. The point is people change and you may change your mind. Transition is about the social aspect of the trans community more than anything, those who do not regret their transition are deeply routed into the community and find a sense of belonging there. I would say to explore the community if you wish to but it may not be somewhere you can see yourself staying in the long run, there's a lot to uncover.
I truly urge against transition so that people do not feel how I do but obviously I cannot tell you what to do. From my point of view transition is just a cover up, and we must learn to accept ourselves as we are. So what you like to wear makeup and have long hair? that doesn't mean you need to be a woman. If everyone around you is fine with that then that's good, it doesn't mean you should change yourself physically because others are expecting it.
I hope this was clear although I know I haven't managed to say everything I need to say. Please message me if you want to ask more questions.
Thank you so much, this reply was really helpful. I am scared about my next big life decision about where I'm moving this year. I'm scared to make another mistake.
Yes I agree that people take it personally when you try to talk to them. It's hard tbh.
This post made me realise I have more power than I think over my life. I am just worried that I make decisions that will lead me to a bad life. I'm young but I feel like I'm running out of time.
Your family want what's best for you so don't feel like telling them is going to result in embarrassment. Your experience is valid and you're not alone in it, a lot of us have been through the same thing, wondering the same things. Detransitioning is not shameful and you have found yourself.
About your boss... You can get a new job you are a person who has skills in the workplace you must be fulfilling your jobs at least. You can attain more skills and get a job it's okay to walk out of that job if you don't think your boss will keep you around. Do this for yourself, nobody else matters you can rebuild. My DMS are open if you want to talk.
When I got to 22 I realised that transitioning wasn't the right option because I feel like I would have matured into understanding myself as my agab. You may feel like this now but I would really urge finding yourself in other ways. For me I realised a lot in hindsight so it's hard to explain everything especially when you're young. I truly urge you to try to accept that you're uncomfortable with yourself at this age but it is something that as you meet more and more people you will start to understand what it means to be you and you will love yourself. You will see that you are a product of how you grew up, so your culture, gender, and all the things you hate right now, are what makes you unique even though you may not see it right now. Don't push away from yourself and your roots, try to indulge yourself in your roots. I think confidence is a huge part of it so that might be something you want to question too. I hope this helps and my DMs are open for a chat any time.