This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and consistent with the long-term, introspective perspective of someone who has lived through a detransition. They share personal, physical details (e.g., the distress of growing facial hair, having had top surgery, getting prosthetic breasts) and reflect on complex themes like socialization, regret, and the process of self-acceptance over many years. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine trauma and stigma faced by detransitioners.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with puberty made me believe I was supposed to be a man, so I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts. I eventually realized my unhappiness wasn't about my gender but was a deep dissatisfaction with my life and a need for real connection. I stopped hormones and now accept that I am, and always was, a woman. I live with permanent changes like a deep voice and a flat chest, and I've learned you can reject stereotypes without changing your sex. Now I'm just trying to heal and exist as my true, gender-nonconforming self.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and painful process of figuring out who I really am. I was born female, and from a young age, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them. I felt like they didn't belong on me and that my body was somehow wrong. This feeling got mixed up with a lot of other things I was struggling with, like depression, low self-esteem, and a general feeling of not fitting in or knowing my place in the world.
I spent a lot of time online, and I was heavily influenced by what I saw there. I started to believe that the reason I felt so bad was that I was supposed to be a man. I thought transitioning was the only way to fix the deep unhappiness I felt. I started to socially transition, and eventually, I took testosterone and had top surgery to remove my breasts.
For a while, I thought it was the solution. But passing as a man came with its own set of problems. I realized I had been socialized as a woman, and I didn't know how to act like a man was expected to act. I remember being really worried about how I would react in confrontational situations, like if a drunk guy started a fight. Other men seemed to puff out their chests and act tough, but that just wasn't me. It made me stand out and feel like I was failing at being a man, too.
Over time, I started to understand that my "dysphoria" was actually something else. It was a deep dissatisfaction with my life in general, a kind of existential crisis, and I had mistakenly pinned it all on my gender. I’ve learned that our brains weren't meant for the isolated, online lives we live now; we need real connection, purpose, and to move our bodies to feel good.
I eventually stopped testosterone and began to accept that I am, and always was, a female. I don’t regret my journey because it led me to this understanding, but I do have profound regrets about the permanent changes to my body. I had top surgery and now I have a flat chest. I have to shave my face because of the testosterone, and my voice is permanently deeper. I am likely infertile. I wish I could have reconstruction surgery for my chest, but it's expensive, and implants need to be replaced every ten years. I’ve looked into prosthetic breast forms instead, which are a more realistic option for me now.
A huge lesson for me was realizing that you don't need to transition to be yourself. You can be a woman and wear men's clothes, have short hair, and reject stereotypes. You don't have to be a literal man to embrace your masculine traits, just like you don't have to be a woman to be soft or caring. I exist now in a more neutral space, just accepting my body for what it is naturally. I don't wear makeup or dresses, and I still get called "ma'am" because, ultimately, nature prevails.
I feel like a lot of us get caught in this because we don't understand that you can be gender non-conforming and still be your birth sex. Butch women are not trans. Feminine men are not trans. That kind of thinking is what got me into this mess. I also have a lot of anger about how I was treated as a young, immature 14-year-old. I was a depressed kid, and doctors coerced my parents with the threat of my suicide instead of helping me work through my real issues.
Now, I just want to treat my body with respect. My journey is my own, and it’s not a commentary on anyone else. I didn’t betray anyone by figuring out my own life. If people take my personal story as an attack, that’s their problem. I’m just trying to heal.
Age | Event |
---|---|
14 | Was a depressed, immature teenager. Felt intense body discomfort with puberty. Doctors and parents were coerced into agreeing to transition under threat of my suicide. |
Late Teens | Socially transitioned. Heavily influenced by online communities. Started taking testosterone. |
Early 20s | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) to remove breasts. |
Mid 20s | Began to realize my dysphoria was actually general life dissatisfaction and depression. Stopped taking testosterone. |
Now (30s) | Have been off testosterone for nearly a decade. Accept that I am female. Live as a gender-nonconforming woman. Deal with permanent changes from transition: deep voice, facial hair, flat chest, and likely infertility. |
Top Comments by /u/throwouthdhsjsjsj:
I was 14 and I was absolutely immature, as 14 year olds are. No doctors should have listened to me and I have a lot of guilt that they coerced my parents into agreeing to things under the threat of my imminent suicide if they didn't. I was a depressed and troubled, and yes, immature child. Who the hell expects kids NOT to be immature.
Why would you define Trans as including butch and GNC people? Butch women are not Trans. Feminine men are not Trans. That's the exact kind of thinking that got many of us here in the detransition boat is not understanding that you can be GNC and don't have to fit neatly into the stereotypes of your sex to be that sex.
You don't need to be dressed up hyperfeminine to be a woman. We are not all little delicate little dolls to dress up. I have accepted I'm a female but that doesn't mean I don't wear the same type of clothing my male friend wears, atleast 80% of the time. Once you accept yourself, it'll feel much better. Ditch the makeup and all that if it doesn't make you feel good. Just exist.
Your life journey is yours. It's not a commentary on other people and I find it so frustrating that we are made to feel like we somehow betrayed the Trans community just by doing what you need to do to figure out your own life. You didn't do anything wrong.
If other people take your personal life as an attack on them...well that's on them. You didn't say anything hurtful to them or about them, you are just living your life. You have every right to do that.
I'm sorry you've lost friends. But if they are not there to support you through the twists and turns of life, they aren't real friends. You have every right to make decisions , change your mind and learn things in life. You don't owe anyone anything.
I have learned that my "dysphoria" was really more of dissatisfaction with life in general, depression, existential crisis type stuff. I still feel existential dread but I don't feel it is related to gender anymore and I misinterpreted it when I was younger.
I felt like I was too different and couldn't relate to women until I spent years trying to relate to men as a "man" and nothing made it more clear that I am a woman, lol. If it helps, I've been off T for close to a decade and I pass as a woman all the time now. And I am not someone who uses makeup, or wears dresses, I barely perform femininity at all. Just yesterday I spoke to someone who very naturally called me ma'am even though my hair is somewhat on the shorter side, I was wearing sweats and a t shirt (I've had top surgery, so flat chest) and honestly I had rolled out of bed and looked kinda disheveled, still I was seen as female. It is possible to be perceived as a female again if that is something you decide you want. I thought for the longest time that I was backed into a corner as well. But nature prevails. Even with a flat chest, deeper voice and having to shave.
I wanted to add in regards to your comment about worrying detransitioning could be a phase too- for me personally I don't think it could be a phase because its just about existing as I am. Instesd of swinging the pendulum back the opposite way, I've just swung back into "neutral" it doesn't have to be a dramatic huge change. But rather just accepting your body for as it is naturally, and that it doesn't need to be adjusted.
Isn't it interesting that it's absolutely not okay for anyone to question if a Trans person is really Trans? If I were to say, it seems to me this Trans person isn't genuinely trans,, it would be seen as wrong. But any detrans person is free game to rip apart.
You need to get off the internet and see a therapist. You are not ruined, you just need to redirect your life away from all this dysfunction and towards healing and healthy things that Kids should be doing. Get off the internet, ask your parents to see a therapist, find some hobbies.
You can still embrace all of the same elements of yourself. You don't have to be a literal woman in order to embrace your feminine side, whatever that means to you, your softness, your caregiving side, etc. Don't shut down those parts of yourself just because it doesn't mean what you thought it meant.
In the US it is mandatory for insurance to cover breast reconstruction for mastectomy due to breast cancer is my understanding of it atleast. You will want to find a doctor/surgeon who is smart with the coding and billing for your best shot at insurance covering it but from what I have heard, it will be very difficult to get it covered.
I wish I could have reconstruction also but I probably won't. Breast implants have to be replaced every 10years, its not a one and done. I don't foresee my future being full of money for surgeries. I also think it's better to save surgeries for emergency procedures, like any surgery takes a toll on your body, and I don't think I want to put myself through it unless it's life or death. I know a woman who had reconstruction after breast cancer and she lives in constant pain years later. I just wanna treat my body with respect from now on.
.one thing I did get covered by insurance are prosthetic breast forms and bras. I went to an actual prosthetic medical place and got measured by a professional. A lot of woman opt for those instead, of course it isn't the same but they look and feel realistic.