This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user shares highly specific, personal, and emotionally complex experiences (e.g., details of physical detransition, workplace and family dynamics, a difficult divorce, and coparenting struggles). The narrative is internally consistent over time and reflects the passionate, often critical, perspective common in the detrans community. The language is natural, nuanced, and lacks the repetition or generic phrasing typical of automated accounts.
About me
My transition started after my marriage fell apart, when I was in a terrible place and saw becoming a woman as an escape from my unhappiness. A huge turning point came when I got a stable job and the pressure lifted; my desire to transition vanished, showing me it was really a trauma response. I've detransitioned back to living as a man and have been lucky to have supportive friends and coworkers. The hardest part is the damage done with my ex-wife and the fear it will hurt my relationship with my son. I regret not dealing with my underlying trauma first, and I believe my experience shows how transition can be mistakenly pursued for the wrong reasons.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, mostly a response to other problems in my life. I was born male and I transitioned to female, but I’ve now detransitioned back to living as a man.
I started transitioning because I was in a really bad place. My marriage had fallen apart and it messed me up badly. I didn’t want to exist anymore. I see now that I was using transition as a bandaid for my PTSD and deep unhappiness. It was a form of escapism. I wasn't fixing my life; I was just trying to become someone else. I also think that part of what made it appealing was that people were genuinely nicer to me when I presented as a woman. I felt pretty, I got compliments, and there were lower physical expectations from people. It felt like a "better" life and that made it hard to walk away from.
A huge turning point for me was when I finally got a job that paid my bills and gave me some stability. Almost immediately, my desire to transition just vanished. It happened so quickly that it made me confident that what I thought was gender dysphoria was actually an overwhelming trauma response triggered by the fear of becoming homeless. When that pressure was lifted, the feeling mostly went away.
I did take hormones and I had laser hair removal on my face, though all the hair grew back within a month. I was excited to have my breast tissue removed as part of detransitioning. Socially, it’s been a process. I’ve been telling my coworkers slowly; I stopped wearing makeup and dresses and I think some of them figured it out before I even said anything. Breaking the news at work was scary, but I’ve been lucky to have zero pushback. My friends have been really cool about it too; a couple even told me they were glad.
A big struggle has been with my ex-wife. I worry she’s going to always hold a grudge against me for my transition and make co-parenting our son impossible. It’s a source of a lot of despair for me, but I hold onto the hope that my son will love me for who I am.
My thoughts on gender are that I think true gender dysphoria is probably rare and over-diagnosed. I believe a lot of what gets called dysphoria is actually body dysmorphia or other issues. I think there are people who truly need to transition, but for many others, like me, it’s a response to trauma or other psychological pressures. I don’t misgender people because I want to be respectful, but I do wish there was more space to ask hard questions to make sure people aren’t just following a trend or trying to escape their problems.
I also had a negative experience with a therapist who was supposed to be supportive. When I told her I was detransitioning, she later said her boss, a trans man, told her that most detransitioners retransition. It felt passive-aggressive and like my decision was a threat to their ideology. I found a new therapist who is more open.
Religion has also been a big part of my story. I left my faith when I transitioned, and it felt like I was ripping a big part of my life away. Now I’m working on getting back to it, but it’s been a difficult process.
Do I have regrets? Yes, I have a lot of regrets. Transitioning affected everything in my life and I lost a lot in the process. I regret not dealing with my underlying trauma first. I don’t think the medical world does enough to question whether transition is the right solution, and they recommend it far too quickly.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 27 | Got married |
| 31 | Marriage ended; began identifying as transgender |
| 32 | Started hormone therapy (estrogen) |
| 33 | Underwent laser hair removal on face |
| 34 | Legally changed my name |
| 35 | Came out as detransitioned (MtFtM); began process to reverse name change |
| 35 | Stopped hormone therapy; breast tissue began to recede |
| 35 | Socially detransitioned at work and with friends |
Top Comments by /u/time2vape:
My current, soon to be former, therapist said she supports my decision, then I come back for the next week, she says that she talked to her boss, a trans man, and he said that most detransitioners retransition. It came across as low-key passive aggressive.
If a trans person detransitions, that in no way impacts another LGBT person’s identity. I think a lot of people are just so insecure, they freak out when you decide you don’t want to “follow the herd.”
Get out of there, best of luck finding someone who wants the best for you, not for the ideology.
When I got a job that was enough to pay my bills, I stopped wanting to transition. It was pretty quick, so I’m confident that my fairly in check gender dysphoria became an overwhelming trauma response when I got to the point I could’ve become homeless
It might be hard to go back, but your family might support you more than you think. My friends have been really cool about my detransition. In fact, a couple of people told me they were glad. It’s up to you, it’s not easy, but if you’re making a choice from your heart, it’ll be worth it
New therapist I might continue to see said he read new research that suggests around 1/3 of trans people detransition/have transition regret. He admitted that seemed high, he wants more research to back it up, but let’s say a conservative 10% of trans people want out, that’s still a lot of people.
More medical professionals need to be aware that not everyone is going to “try something on” and stick with it. They don’t question genderfluid people, so why should they question detransitioners? Because they think we hurt the narrative. And we do, but then maybe the narrative needs to change? Maybe the narrative isn’t as black and white as we think it is?
I’ve got a post about why I detransitioned, so I’d recommend reading that, but I’ll shed some light here.
It’s hell to transition. It affects everything about your life. I’ve watched a few MtF people in my life have a lot of issues. They’re just chasing transition and not really fixing their lives.
That includes me. I was putting a bandaid over my PTSD. I very much didn’t want to exist anymore. Sure, I had some good times while transitioning, but I also lost a lot of my life in the process.
Transition is too quickly recommended by the medical industry. If you truly have gender dysphoria, then you might benefit from it, but just because your therapist thinks you’re trans, doesn’t mean you’re going to be better off as a woman.
If you want, DM me and I can go more into specifics
This is a hard one. I think gender dysphoria is over diagnosed, most of it is body dysmorphia.
I do think there’s some people out there that truly have gender dysphoria, and it’s pretty easy to see them for the gender they want to be/present as.
For those that seem to be “going along for the ride,” it can be pretty hard to say, oh, yeah, you’re what you say you are.
For me it just depends. I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere with someone if I misgender them, or disrespect them, so I do respect names and pronouns.
I want to get to the point of trying to the point I can talk to more trans people about what they’re going through, not to change them, but to make sure that they’re asking themselves the right questions and not just falling in line with the gender identity cult
Yeah, I can second this is common, especially since I came in talking about how much I was enjoying transitioning and then in a matter of a few weeks I “came out” as a cishet male to her.
I don’t think my therapist was being malicious, but the supervisor seemed butt hurt that there was a client who didn’t want to continue to transition.
MtFtM here, I think there’s more FtMtF on this sub, but I think there’s plenty of other MtFtMs out there. I know of at least two others irl.
For me, I’ve noticed that overall, people tended to be nicer to me when I was presenting female. I felt pretty, regularly got compliments, had lower physical expectations from people (if I couldn’t lift something, no one questioned it) and that made it hard to want to go back. I think it’s a bit of a problem for MtFs, they see a “better” life and it’s hard to walk away from that change
You said it in the first paragraph. Religion. If it’s a big part of your life, you’ll be ripping a big part of your life away from you.
I did just that and it’s been hard. I’m working on getting back, but depending on your religion, it may not be so easy to return.
DM me if you’ve got any questions
Going through this right now and trying to do a career change.
It’s really going to depend on your state. If you can, talk to a lawyer about helping, I’ve been fortunate enough to have one that’s helped me through the process, but I’m currently waiting on a court date.
If you’re applying to new jobs, they’re probably going to ask if you’ve gone by any other names if they do a background check, so I’d suggest saying, something along the lines that you had a previous legal name, you wanted to let them know for employment verification and background checks. They aren’t legally allowed to ask the reasons why you have had more than one name, and honestly, if they do ask, it’s probably not somewhere you’re going to enjoy working because they’ll probably make it uncomfortable.
It’s hard to talk to people about detransitioning, depending on where you live, it might be easier than you think, I have had zero pushback a, so maybe reach out to the references, just say something generic, that you changed your name and that they might be getting calls for references with that new name. Maybe consider finding new references, but I know that can be hard sometimes.
If you have any questions, please feel free to DM me, I hope it works out!