This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited sample, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate a consistent, nuanced, and passionate philosophical viewpoint. They show an ability to engage in argumentation, use rhetorical questions, and employ a personal, sometimes confrontational tone—all hallmarks of human interaction. The content aligns with the expected perspectives of a desister/detransitioner, focusing on themes of self-acceptance, personal responsibility, and critique of modern identity politics.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary at 19 because I thought it would solve my deep discomfort with being a woman and my changing body. I began testosterone at 21, hoping it would finally make me feel at home in myself, but the underlying anxiety and disconnect remained. I stopped hormones at 23 when I realized I was trying to fix my self-esteem and mental health by changing my body. I had to learn that my true identity isn't found in gender but in my own values and humanity. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a female and find peace without needing the world to see me a certain way.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition wasn't really about gender from the start, but I didn't know that then. Looking back, I think a lot of my initial discomfort was just the general difficulty of being a teenager. I hated the changes during my female puberty, especially developing breasts; it felt like my body was betraying me and becoming something I didn't recognize or want. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I spent too much time online where I found communities that gave me a simple answer: my discomfort meant I was trans.
I started identifying as non-binary around age 19 because it felt like a way to escape being a woman. I thought if I wasn't a woman, then all the problems I had with my body and my place in the world would just disappear. I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by the friend group I was in at the time; it felt like the only way to belong and be understood. I began socially transitioning, changing my name and pronouns, and I convinced myself this was the solution.
A couple of years later, at 21, I took it further and started testosterone. I thought hormones would finally make me feel at home in my body. The changes happened, my voice dropped, I grew more body hair, but the core feeling of being uncomfortable and disconnected didn't go away. It just changed shape. I started to realize that I had been trying to use transition to control how other people saw me, to force the world to give me the respect and identity I felt I lacked. But as I learned, we can’t control how others perceive us and treat us. We just don’t. That was a hard but necessary lesson.
I never got surgery, but I desperately wanted top surgery for a long time. I'm grateful now that I didn't. After about two and a half years on testosterone, at 23, I stopped. I had to finally be honest with myself. This wasn't fixing my deep-seated issues with self-esteem, my depression, or my social anxiety. I was trying to engineer a smooth life by changing my body, but life doesn't work that way. Nobody has a perfect experience in life without struggle.
Stopping hormones and detransitioning was about accepting the challenges that come my way. I had to figure out who I was when I stripped away words like “male” or “female”, when I couldn't describe myself with shallow things like clothing or how my voice sounds. My actual identity lies in my beliefs, my values, my morality, and the roles I fill in society. That has very little to do with gender expression.
I do have some regrets. I regret not looking deeper into my mental health struggles first. I regret not understanding that my hatred of my breasts was tied to a deeper self-loathing and not an innate gender identity. I regret not realizing sooner that accepting you’re powerless over the thoughts of other people is one of the most freeing things a person can experience. The responsibility for my discomfort wasn't on my family or society to fix by seeing me as non-binary; I needed to figure out why I felt that way and why I reacted the way I did.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's become far too focused on the superficial. I feel like there’s been a dumbing down where everyone now feels they need to see themselves perfectly reflected in others in order to stand being near someone else. We can have different beliefs and life experiences and still find common ground. For me, that common ground is my humanity, not my gender.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | I started identifying as non-binary and began socially transitioning. |
| 21 | I started taking testosterone. |
| 23 | I stopped testosterone and began my detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/tinyrudefrog:
Call me crazy, but you don’t need to have similar political views with someone else in order to relate to them.
I feel like there’s been a dumbing down of society where everyone now feels they need to see themselves perfectly reflected in others in order to even stand being near someone else. That’s not a realistic expectation of the world. We can have different beliefs and life experiences and still find common ground, most mature adults used to understand this.
We can’t control how others behave or talk. We just can’t talk.
Accepting that you’re powerless over the thoughts and behaviours of other people is genuinely one of the most freeing things I think a person can experience.
You might feel discomfort in the moment, but the responsibility of that isn’t on your family. You’ll need to figure out why you feel this way and why you react the way you do.
Again, more broad statements that are false.
These aren’t reality, these are things you’re telling yourself. People absolutely do live in the real world, it’s happening all around you, you just find it to “difficult” to bother.
I’ll just say the obvious: you’re telling yourself these falsities to make yourself feel better about your social failings. I’m going to go out on a limb now and just ask…autism?
Both genders experience positives and negatives. Nobody has a perfect experience in life without struggle and difficulty in some capacity.
We can’t engineer a smooth life, we accept the challenges that come our way and do our best to navigate them will holding true to the parts of our identity that actually matter: our beliefs, our values, our morality, and the roles we fill in society.
At the end of the day we do not have the power to control how others perceive us and treat us. We just don’t.
I’d say the bigger red flag in your post is how you treat other people. You seem to look at others as just a means to get whatever you want in the moment. And what you think you want isn’t satisfying you. Not only are you on a path towards a lonely life, but you sound like an asshole.
Other people have no ability to see your internal struggle, so it’s up to you to work on yourself and your behaviour.
Who are you when you strip away words like “male” or “female”? When you can’t describe yourself with shallow things like clothing, hairstyles, or how your voice sounds? Your actual identity lies in your answers there, and it typically has very little to do with gender expression.
You’re making insanely broad statements.
“You pretty much pick up all your friends in highschool”
No, most people don’t.
“I’m not accepted anywhere I go”
It sounds like you don’t actually “go” anywhere. You’re online.
“People don’t like meeting new people”. This is not true at all. The popularity of meetup groups, apps, hobbyist groups, conventions, etc. all prove this completely false.