This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative. The user shares specific, emotionally resonant details about their detransition (e.g., starting hormones at 16, the effect of testosterone on their ability to cry, their autism), their motivations (e.g., wanting to be a "feminine trans man," seeking visibility as a queer person), and their current perspective on womanhood and lesbianism. The tone is passionate and critical, which aligns with the expected perspective of a genuine detransitioner or desister who feels failed by the system. The language is natural and varies in emotional intensity, which is not typical of scripted bot behavior.
About me
I was a deeply unhappy young girl who felt ugly and out of place, partly because I'm autistic and struggled to connect with others. I thought transitioning to male would make my bisexuality feel more legitimate and finally make me visible. Taking testosterone at 16 numbed my emotions and didn't give me the control over my femininity I was seeking. I realized I was just a gender nonconforming woman trying to escape herself, not become a man. Now, I've stopped hormones and I'm learning to accept myself as the female I am, angry that I was given hormones instead of the therapy I truly needed.
My detransition story
My whole journey started from a place of deep unhappiness with myself. I was a young girl who felt ugly and out of place. I’m autistic, and I’ve always expressed my emotions a little differently, which made connecting with others hard. I also grew up with a lot of low self-esteem and depression. My mom is a masculine gay woman, and I really wish she had been around more when I was younger. I think having that positive example of a woman who wasn't traditionally feminine would have shown me that it was okay to be that way myself.
Instead, I started to believe that the only way I could be accepted, especially as a bisexual woman who liked women, was to be as visibly queer as possible. I felt invisible as a feminine lesbian and thought that if I transitioned, it would be easier to pursue women and people would finally see me for who I was. I now see this was a form of internalized homophobia; I couldn't just be a woman who loved women, I felt I had to change my entire identity to make that feel legitimate.
I started taking testosterone when I was 16. I told myself I was a "feminine trans man." I thought the hormones would let me be seen as a feminine guy, but they didn't really change my appearance much aside from making me gain weight and grow more body hair. I still looked like a woman, and I kept dressing and acting the same way I always had. I was obsessed with drag queens and saw my transition as a way to be subversive and in control of my own femininity, which I felt would be impossible if I stayed a woman because femininity was just expected of me.
Being on testosterone had some really difficult effects. It completely removed my ability to cry. Because of my autism, I’ve always expressed emotions abnormally, but on T, the only emotions I could easily feel were anger and arousal. It really numbed me out. Looking back, I was suffering from serious mental health issues that were never properly addressed. I wish I had been treated for my depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem instead of just being given hormones. I needed therapy that helped me understand myself, not just affirm a new identity.
I began to question what I was doing. What was the point of taking hormones if I wasn't trying to be a man? I realized I was just a gender nonconforming woman who had been trying to escape herself. I came to understand that being a woman has nothing to do with how you look or dress. I have a short haircut, I don't shave or wear makeup, and my voice is lower from the testosterone, but I am still a woman. There is no one way to be one.
I regret my transition. I feel failed by the system that gave a 16-year-old with complex mental health problems hormones instead of real, deep therapy. The frustration I feel isn't hatred for trans people; it’s anger at being failed by the professionals and people around me who should have helped me work through my trauma and self-hatred instead of encouraging me to change my body. I’ve learned that my features, the ones I hated, have been loved and passed down through generations of women in my family. If I saw another woman who looked like me, I’d think she was beautiful, and I’m finally learning to afford myself that same grace.
I stopped hormones and detransitioned. My ability to cry has gotten a little better but it's still a struggle. I am now just trying to live my life as a woman, accepting that it's okay to be a bisexual, gender nonconforming female. I didn't need to change my body to be happy; I needed to learn to accept myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 19-20 | Stopped taking testosterone and began detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/tom1-som3:
I did the same thing for most of my transition. I was obsessed with drag queens and wanted to be one, even though I looked and acted like a regular cis woman. I also did it so that it would be easier for me to pursue women; being as visibly queer as possible was much easier than being normal and invisible.
This is exactly who I was before I detransitioned. I wanted to be a “feminine trans guy” or a sort of drag queen. Although I went on hormones, nothing else changed in terms of my overall expression (i.e. how I acted, what I wore).
I interpreted it as a way for me to be subversive and non-conforming while still maintaining my interest in the girly things I enjoyed as a child. I wanted to be in control of my femininity, but felt like that would be impossible if I identified as a woman (since femininity is expected).
Being a woman is more than your external appearance. If you enjoy expressing femininity, by all means, go for it! But, never feel like you need to conform or force yourself to “look like a woman” because of how others may perceive you.
I don’t shave or wear makeup everyday. My hair is short. I still wear masculine clothes. I don’t have a high-pitched voice anymore. Despite this, I get gendered correctly in most situations. There’s so many women who have more male-aligned physical characteristics (i.e. those with PCOS), and they’re still very much women.
As long as you’re an adult human female, you ARE a woman! No matter how your voice sounds or how much hair you have on your body.
I never truly believed that non-binary was a thing, especially when people who claim to be non-binary are still presenting themselves as feminine or masculine in accordance to their biological sex. For example, my friend is female & identifies as non-binary but still uses she/her pronouns and dresses very feminine.
It’s undermining the variance between the binary genders, opting to create a completely separate category for no reason at all. There’s no one way to be a man or a woman. It’s OKAY to be a man or a woman.
Femme lesbians are at a unique disadvantage because everyone assumes they’re straight. This is compounded by the fact that a lot of femme lesbians have dated men in the past before they discovered/realized who they truly are. It’s like I had to be the queerest person in the room to be accepted and recognized y’know?
When I was transitioning, I too called myself a “feminine trans man”, thinking that me being on hormones would make people perceive me as a feminine guy. The hormones did very little to change my appearance (aside from making me fat and hairy), so I still very much looked like a woman. For some odd reason, it didn’t bother me until I started questioning why I presented myself that way. What was the point in me going on hormones if I wouldn’t present myself as an actual man?
I really, really needed my family. I have many female relatives, most of which are 30-40+ years old with varying levels of life experience as women. I believe that if I had just spoken to them; had a genuine conversation about WHY I felt the way I did and being able to hear from their perspective, I would’ve realized much earlier that I didn’t need to transition at all.
I understand what you mean. But, the anger that many of us feel isn’t coming from a place of hate towards trans people. It’s coming from a place of frustration; many detransitioners feel as though they have been failed by the people around them (friends, family, medical professionals, etc), especially those who transitioned as minors. This may cause some of us to “lash out” as we’re dealing/coping with the emotional turmoil that such a situation brings.
I regret my transition. I wish that I was properly treated for my mental health issues instead of just being given hormones. If in the end, it turned out that I was suffering from actual gender dysphoria, then of course the Testosterone and possibly even surgery would be necessary.
THANK YOU for acknowledging the “actual” lesbian subreddit and how openly unwelcoming it is to lesbians. It’s been completely taken over by TRAs who feel entitled to lesbian/women’s spaces. You can’t express your attraction as a female who likes other females without being called transphobic or accused of having a “genital preference”.