This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is detailed, emotionally consistent, and reflects common, nuanced experiences discussed within the detrans/desister community, such as social pressure, internal conflict, and the distinction between gender non-conformity and trans identity. The language is natural and passionate in a way that aligns with a genuine person who has lived this experience.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teenager after being influenced online, which led me to develop a hatred for my female body that I never had before. I truly believed I was meant to be a man until I realized my feelings were tied to other mental health issues. I came to understand that I could be a masculine woman without needing to medically change my body. Now I'm happy living as a woman, but I'm frustrated that people assume I'm trans because of how I look. I regret the years I spent in confusion and almost making permanent changes for the wrong reasons.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I never had any issues with my body or being a girl when I was younger; I even liked being feminine. But somewhere along the line, I got caught up in the idea that I might be trans. It felt like a social contagion that I picked up from being online. I somehow, almost subconsciously, pushed myself into feeling dysphoria. I started to hate my body, specifically my breasts, when I never had before. I became convinced that I wanted hormones and that I would be so much happier living as a man.
For a long time, I truly believed all the common ideas that were pushed, like if you're questioning your gender, you must be trans, because cis people don't do that. I felt so strongly that this was my path. But looking back, a lot of my feelings were tied up in other mental health struggles, low self-esteem, and anxiety. I was struggling, and this felt like an answer.
Eventually, I realized that many of those ideas just weren't true. I slowly started to become more comfortable with my body as it is. I realized I could do anything a man could do and express myself however I wanted—by wearing masculine clothing, for example—and still be a woman. I didn't have to change my body to be myself. I am a woman, and I get to define what that means for me. I desisted without ever taking hormones or having any surgeries.
Now, I'm really happy as a woman who presents in a masculine way. I have a genetic mustache that I’ve had since I was 11, and I’ve always liked it. It’s annoying that because of how I look, people constantly assume I'm trans or part of the "queer" community. They ask me for my pronouns in that really performative, "I'm such a good ally" way, and it drives me crazy. I just want to be seen as a masculine woman, not be put into another box.
I do have some regrets about the whole process. I regret the years I spent in that confused and anxious state, hating a body that was perfectly fine. I regret that I almost went down a medical path that would have permanently altered me for what I now see were the wrong reasons. I don't regret exploring my identity, but I regret how far I let it go based on external influences rather than my own truth.
I also ended up getting an autism assessment after I had already desisted, because I was still struggling with my mental health. I felt pressured into it, and it reminded me of the same path I went down with the trans stuff. Now I have the diagnosis, but I'm not even sure it's correct. It just feels like another label that might not fit.
My experience has made me see things differently, especially with my sister, who is nonbinary. She dresses very femininely and never had any issues with her gender when we were young. Now, it feels like she's doing it to be special or feel part of a community. She seems to have a victim mentality, almost liking when people "misgender" her so she can get annoyed. I can't talk to her about any of my real feelings because I know she would cut me off and create a huge family drama.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11 | Noticed I had a genetic mustache and decided I liked it. |
| 13-15 | Went through early puberty. Was comfortable as a girl and liked feminine things. |
| 16 | Began to be influenced online, started questioning my gender and developed body hatred. |
| 17-18 | Strongly believed I was trans and wanted to medically transition. |
| 19 | Began to desist, realizing I could be a masculine woman without changing my body. |
| 20 | Felt comfortable again identifying as a woman. Got a possibly inaccurate autism diagnosis. |
| Now (21) | Happy as a masculine woman, but frustrated by people assuming I'm trans. |
Top Comments by /u/tomentosa4:
Ah so annoying!! I also hate being asked pronouns over and over just because I don’t conform to typical female stereotypes. I have a moustache (just genetic I’ve had it since I was like 11) and I hate that this means people think I must be trans. Yes I could shave it but I’ve actually always liked it, even as a teenager
I'm sorry you're in that situation! My sister is nonbinary and I've had to just slowly drift apart from her which is really hard since we were so close when we were young. She dresses very femininely and never had any issues with her gender when she was younger, it just feels like she's doing it to be special and feel a part of a community. And she's in some victim mentality mindset of almost liking when people "misgender" her and she can get annoyed at people for it.
She has no idea that I don't "agree" or whatever with the whole trans movement, because I'm sure she would completely cut me off and bad mouth me and create a whole family drama.
It's a really tricky situation, but I imagine even harder in yours since you're dating
Realising that many ideas that were perpetuated in the trans community were not true. For example: if you're questioning your gender you must be trans because cis people don't question their gender. For a long time I felt so strongly that I wanted hormones and that I would love being a man, looking male, etc. And even with all that, I wasn't actually trans. I am now really happy as a woman presenting masculinely. It just took a long time to slowly become more comfortable with my body as it is. I can do anything that a man can, express myself however I want, and I can still be a woman. I don't have to be the version of a woman that anybody else says.
Absolutely in many cases it is one of the main reasons for children thinking they're trans when they're not.
From experience, I somehow subconsciously pushed myself to have dysphoria. If you haven't experienced it you might think that makes no sense. Especially me, when I had no body image problems before, even through early puberty, liked being feminine. Somehow this social contagion pushed me into feelings of hatred for my body.
If you start thinking things enough they get wired into your brain I reckon
yeah I agree that it can't just be social contagion. There's got to be another issue happening that means the social contagion works on that person.
Like suicide can be a social contagion, but there's got to still be a lot of issues happening with the person as well
I can understand that to a degree, although I’m a desister. I feel similar as a visibly gender non conforming woman. But looking like you appear part of a social group isn’t the same as actually being part of it. Every
I find it so hard that because I wear masculine clothing people assume I'm part of the whole queer bullshit! How do you deal with that? And do you find it hard when people ask you what your pronouns are all the time?
People do that to me in that annoying *I'm being such a good ally* way where they're like "oh, just wondering what your pronouns are?". Fucking shits me so much!!
Yes totally have been thinking this!!! I was pressured into having an autism assessment after struggling with mental health issues (this is after I already had desisted). I didn't want to because it felt like the same path as I went down with the trans shit. Now I have this autism diagnosis and I feel like it's not correct.