This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- Personal, specific details: The user shares specific timelines (e.g., "2 weeks off," "6 years on hormones"), physical changes, and personal gym routines.
- Consistent, nuanced perspective: The views on masculinity, detransition, and social anxiety are complex, internally consistent, and reflect the passionate and thoughtful perspective common in the community.
- Natural language: The writing style is conversational, uses slang ("get yoked," "bloatmaxxing"), and includes personal asides, which is atypical for bots.
About me
I started my transition as a teenager because I felt uncomfortable as a girl and thought becoming a man was the answer. I lived as a man for years after taking testosterone and having top surgery. I eventually realized I was trying to escape being a masculine woman, and I stopped hormones to find my real self. Now, I'm detransitioning and building a strong physique through weightlifting, which helps me feel confident as a woman. I've learned my issues were with self-acceptance, not my gender, and I'm finally just learning to be me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female but never felt like I fit in with the other girls. I think a lot of it was low self-esteem and anxiety; I just didn't feel good about myself or my body. Puberty was really uncomfortable for me—I hated the development of my breasts and felt really disconnected from what was happening. I found a lot of community and identity online that made me feel like maybe I was meant to be a guy. It felt like an escape from all those uncomfortable feelings.
I ended up taking testosterone for about six years. During that time, I got top surgery to remove my breasts, which I thought would finally make me happy with my body. For a while, it did feel like a relief. My voice dropped, I grew facial hair, and I started to build a more masculine physique. I lived as a man and that was my whole identity.
But over time, things started to shift for me. I began to question everything. I realized that a lot of my desire to transition was tied to not wanting to be a masculine woman or a lesbian. I think there was some internalized homophobia there. I also used lifting weights and building a "man's man" physique as a way to feel validated in my masculinity, because I was so scared of being seen as feminine or non-threatening.
I stopped taking testosterone because I wanted to see who I was without it. It was a scary process. The first things I noticed were that my facial hair started growing back faster when I shaved, and some other functions returned to normal. It made me realize that my body was still capable of producing its own hormones and healing.
Now, I’m detransitioning and living as a woman again. I don’t regret my transition because it taught me so much about myself and about gender. I have a perspective that most people don't. But I also see now that I was trying to solve deeper issues—like depression and discomfort with my body—by changing my gender. Lifting weights and getting strong has been a huge part of my detransition; it’s helped me feel confident and comfortable in my body as a masculine woman, without needing to be a man.
I don't think gender is as simple as we make it out to be. For me, it was more about finding a place where I felt I belonged, and I don't need a label for that anymore. I’m just me.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort during puberty, hated my developing breasts. |
| 18 | Began identifying as transgender and started taking testosterone. |
| 24 | Had top surgery to remove my breasts. |
| 30 | Stopped testosterone after 6 years, began detransitioning. |
| 30 | Started a heavy lifting program (Starting Strength) to build a strong, masculine physique as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/towelpebble:
for me it feels like to most of society if a masculine person doesn't have a real pretty face the main attractive parts are: being visibly muscular and also being well dressed. The first part of that requires a large amount of sustained effort (which is probably part of why it's attractive). The second part of that is less difficult if you have the resources, but it's a whole different game than feminine "well dressed" if you know what I mean.
Also, you'll only be comfortable talking to people if you're comfortable with yourself.
As detrans men we are often extremely sensitive to the whole "non-threatening guy" phenomenon, and I think this can manifest as social anxiety because we are anxious of projecting that, which is counterproductive. We have thought about it way way way more and in different ways than most straight cis guys. The way you write this post makes it seem like you just want to socialize with people, so you're not a guy just looking for sex or money, you're looking for connection, and as other replies have mentioned if you're just true to that intention I think you can put the worry of being creepy out of your mind.
another thing is that you can practice talking to people in really low stakes situations, like just try chatting people up you see in your day to day life even if you would have no interest in them otherwise. helps to get out of your shell yknow.
If your personal circles are generally accepting, just say you now prefer "they" pronouns and be as masc as you want. That way it's not as shocking as like "oh I'm a cis guy now" (my opinion is that we're really not anyway, we'll always have a different perspective on gender because of our experiences). at work was a bit awkward, but people are generally perceptive. I went from wearing a dress to sporting a mustache in a period of like 9 months, you just gotta own it and not give af what others think, their discomfort is more about them than about you.
I started lifting weights, for me having a little muscle + bulk makes me feel much more masculine. For me a way I tried to look feminine was by having as little muscle tone as possible, and so I think if I hadn't started lifting I would psychologically feel and want to be masculine, but I wouldn't feel that way with my body. Regarding the bulge thing, I'm def gonna wear some tight shorts this summer.
TL;DR; get yoked
Ok so you're definitely skinny. Starting strength has been great for me, I really feel like I've gotten a more masculine physique in short order. I think worrying about calories and cardio and all that stuff the other comment is talking about is overkill/not what you want. At least for me, getting big and strong even if I have some body fat has been way more validating for my masculinity than getting shredded or whatever.
Yeah just wait things will come back. Have you noticed facial hair growing faster? I'm two weeks off (but have also stopped for a year before) and that's the first thing I notice coming back this time round. Easier to get an erection too. If any of these are happening, great, just wait. the testosterone your body is making is working. Even if they aren't happening, just give it time.
starting strength + eat a shit ton of healthy food depending on how fat you actually are (diet is part of starting strength anyway). if you gave your actual stats would maybe have a better idea.
Starting strength is literally all about a "man's man" physique, none of the fake natty gymshark aesthetics bs.
I'm going with the "get big first, cut later" approach. Idea behind this is that once you have muscle on your frame, your TDEE will be higher, so it will actually be easier to cut.
once you have seen the bloatmaxxing light you will not return. I've been doing starting strength for 2 months, I'm up like 20lbs and am on the road to being an absolute beefcake after being on hormones for 6 years.