This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex internal struggle with gender identity, dysphoria, detransition, and social stigma over a 10-month period. The user expresses contradictory feelings, self-doubt, and specific personal details (like surgery recovery and vaccine timing) that are typical of a genuine personal narrative, not a fabricated one. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant distress.
About me
I was born female and was once a very happy, confident lesbian woman. I started questioning my gender because I felt disconnected from femininity and eventually identified as a nonbinary man, taking testosterone and getting top surgery. I came to deeply hate being trans; it felt like a constant, angry unhappiness that made me want to rip my skin off. I realized I needed to stop hormones to try and find peace living as a woman again, even though it sometimes feels strange. Now, I'm off testosterone and trying to understand where my discomfort truly came from while learning to be at peace as a woman.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and confusing, and I'm still figuring it out. I was born female and for a long time, I was really happy being a woman. I was a lesbian, a feminist, and I took no shit. I got a lot of joy from that identity.
I started to question if I was trans because I felt a disconnect from stereotypical femininity. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was true gender dysphoria or just that disconnect. I eventually came to identify as nonbinary, and then as a guy-leaning nonbinary person. It felt right in a way I can't fully explain; it wasn't about being masculine, as I still act pretty feminine, it was just a feeling of being a dude that felt correct.
I started taking testosterone. I liked some of the changes, like the way my face and body shape changed. I also got top surgery about a month and a half before one of my comments. The surgery changed my silhouette a lot, and sometimes I didn't recognize myself in the mirror afterward.
But throughout my entire time identifying as trans, I felt a deep and constant unhappiness with it. I came to hate being trans. It felt like the worst part of me, the worst possible thing I could be. It made me feel angry and like I wanted to rip my skin off. This feeling was always there under the surface, but it was especially triggered when I saw trans stuff online or thought about it too much. I found the trans community to be an embarrassment; I felt pathetic saying I was trans because I worried people thought it was weird, gross, and "cringy," especially being nonbinary. I wished there was a way to be trans that was just neutral, not a huge part of your personality whether you loved it or hated it.
I realized that a lot of people in detrans spaces say you can’t live a truly happy life while being trans, and I had to agree. I couldn't see myself ever being content like that. I felt like my only option to find peace was to be cis again. The problem was that every time I tried to identify as a woman again, it felt bad and sometimes made me dissociate. I knew that if I stayed on hormones, I would never be able to feel like a cis woman. I thought that to ever take testosterone as a woman, I'd have to first force myself back into womanhood completely.
I decided to stop testosterone. I planned to do it after my second COVID vaccine dose because I knew T could be immunosuppressive and I didn't want to give up that early vaccine access. My goal was to talk to my doctor and get off it to see if I could find a way to live as a woman again. I saw that others didn't feel like a woman either, and that gave me hope that I could be a woman without feeling a certain way.
I don't know if I have any regrets about my transition yet. The physical changes from T and the top surgery did alleviate some feelings of discomfort, but they came with a much heavier mental burden. I'm trying to figure out where my dysphoria truly comes from. For now, I am trying to find peace with being a woman again.
| Age | Date | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ? | Before 2020 | Was happy and comfortable as a lesbian woman. |
| ? | Before 2020 | Began questioning gender due to a disconnect from femininity. |
| ? | By 2020 | Identified as nonbinary, then as a guy-leaning nonbinary person. |
| ? | Before 2021 | Started taking testosterone (T). |
| ? | Mid-Feb 2021 | Had top surgery. |
| ? | Apr 2021 | Planned to stop T after second COVID vaccine dose. |
Top Comments by /u/transfuyuhiko:
im not sure, i’ve felt like this for most of the time i’ve known that i’m trans. i just really hate it. but maybe the surgery is making it worse. seeing trans stuff everywhere is also making it worse today, any time i’m reminded of it i feel so awful. but it could definitely be combined with the post op depression i could be experiencing
im trying to force it because it would definitely be difficult to be cis and on hormones. i know some lesbians do it which is totally fine, i think anyone can do whatever they want but i don’t think i’d really be able to feel cis if i stayed on hormones and continued transitioning. a lot of people on here say that you can’t live a truly happy life while being trans and i have to agree, there’s no way i’d ever be content like this. so the only option is to be cis it seems
i’m glad there are at least other people who relate to that. it feels like the only way you can be trans is if you make it a big deal about yourself which i don’t want to do :/ i don’t think it’s the fault of people who are really proud of it, i’m happy for them, i just wish there was other narratives for it
yeah, i’ve honestly never seen any proud trans people be hostile to those who aren’t in my experience but i just never see anyone being neutral about it. it’s such a huge part of your personality whether it’s loving it or hating it. which i guess i fall into that category for hating it instead. it just feels like there’s no other way to be
yeah, i know a lot of cis women feel that way also. i think the difference with me is that specifically i do “feel” more like a dude, and being a dude just feels right. i just can’t do this trans thing anymore regardless of that, so being a woman again is my only other option lol. but im glad there are others that dont feel like a woman either! that makes me hopeful
jeez, saying “if you don’t do it now you’ll never be happy” is shitty. even if you are trans and wanted to do hrt for that reason, you still have to be ready for it and feel like it’s time for you to do that. and you can identify as a man without taking hrt at all if you don’t want to so that’s a really shitty thing to say to someone, sorry that happened to you
well i’m nonbinary but im not sure. sometimes it feels like i really am nonbinary/guy leaning, and i always assumed that might be why i hate being a woman, but maybe not. i never hated being a woman before i started questioning being trans though, i used to really love it and i got a lot of joy out of being the kind of woman i was (lesbian, took no shit, feminist, etc)
i personally dont think i could feel cis or like a woman if i continued on t just because its something im doing specifically for my transition. if i ever was to take it while also being a woman, i think id have to take a break from it and really force myself back into womanhood and becoming/living as a cis person before i could take it again, so i could maybe take it for the right reasons instead.
i guess that’s true. the community feels like an embarrassment to me, i dont have a lot of the same issues as others in this thread, it just feels so pathetic saying i’m trans because people think trans people are so weird and gross and “cringy”, so i really hate telling people, especially since i’m “nonbinary” and people especially think that about nonbinary people. so maybe not identifying as trans anymore could help, it’s just that every time i’ve tried identifying as a woman (which i try really often) it feels so bad and sometimes makes me dissociate. i’m sure theres a way to make it happen though, maybe if i take it slowly and ease my way into it
well i do believe that there are people who are truly transgender (i don’t feel like debating that though) but i should have phrased it better then. i’m trying to figure out whether the dysphoria i have is gender dysphoria or just the disconnect i feel from stereotypical femininity. regardless i still have dysphoria and want to know where it’s coming from.
that makes sense. for me it’s just that i feel like i am one i guess. i act pretty feminine for a boy so it’s not that i feel like one for masculinity reasons or anything. its kind of hard to explain or even for me to fully understand but that’s just how it feels