I don’t really have anything helpful to say, I just want s to add that this is a very relatable feeling. Calling myself a woman after years of being trans and struggling is so weird...and I know that other people hear “woman” and instantly form their own ideas and stereotypes of what that means. Mostly I call myself “female” or “lesbian” because being a woman is hard even though it’s like...accurate. I don’t like what people think when they hear me say it. I don’t like the discomfort I sometimes still have with the word.

This is allllll so relatable. Down to the forcing myself to like men who were usually feminine, not seeing good lesbian representation, being envious of males puberty. I always was sad that I didn’t get a “boys childhood” when I was trans and now I realize it’s because they had more freedom and we’re allowed to do all the things I liked but was seen as weird because I was female.

That part you said about never feeling like you belonged in men’s spaces. I totally relate to that! Been a trans man for years and I still never felt like I belonged. I still struggled to fit into men’s roles and something just always felt wrong. It’s so...validating? To know that other people are going through the same thing but it also sucks.

It sounds like he’s not a friend you want to keep around. I’m sorry. I had a similar experience, a very close friend told me he could never be friends with detrans people because we lie and “take resources from real trans people.” He ended up being really awful to me when I told him I was detransitioning and spread lies about me and gave my phone number to weirdos. It’s honestly not worth it to have these types of closed minded people in your life, as hard as it is to lose them.

Based on biology? Lmao. Identifying as a man when you were born female doesn’t change your sex. Idk why you’re arguing about this when OP is going through a really shitty situation as a FEMALE and whether or not they identified as something else in the past does not change the fact that they are female and deserve to be treated as such by health care professionals. And anyway we’re not talking about a trans person so why do you keep bring it up. OP states they are detransing. They are not trying to pass or be labeled as a man so your argument of it being a hate crime to misgender them is moot. They very clearly stated they are female. Females deserve to be seen in female clinics. No matter how they look. My goodness it’s really not that complicated.

I don’t say the word tranny. I used to call myself one when I was trans identified but I no longer am, therefor it’s not my slur to reclaim. Even though I disagree with trans ideology it’s a fact that “tranny” has been a slur used against trans people so I Personally my will not say it. (There were a couple instances when I was angry at queer theorists when I did use it, but I try not to now.)

When I started hormones(ftm so testosterone) I was ecstatic. I was like, 100% sure it was what I wanted and it had taken months to get it. However now I’m detransitioning so, now I imagine I will be starting female hormones and that is scary because I haven’t had female hormones be dominant in my body for 4 years and now they will be artificial. Even with putting a lot of thought into it you never know what the future holds I guess 🤷🏼‍♂️ if it feels right all you can do is go with it. If it’s giving you second thoughts, fear, sadness, etc...I would suggest putting it off and thinking about it more.

Fantastic and I definitely related to that a lot. Especially the part about being able to be with a man when you transitioned. That’s the only time I ever felt comfortable being with men(when they were viewing me as a man, not a woman) it never occurred to me that I might be lesbian and forcing myself to change my body in order to be with men. I just assumed I had to be a “gay” trans man.

I was pretty set on my goals, but on the other hand I didn’t know there was another way to treat my dysphoria. So maybe if other options had been presented I would have reconsidered. Honestly I think if I had seen other masculine women or happy lesbians and realized that it was ok to be that way, I would have reconsidered as well. But I was surrounded by feminine women and homophobia and I felt so wrong existing the way I did, transitioning seemed like the only option. We need better and more representation of GNC women. Butch women. Lesbians. Ugly, awkward women who thrive and love themselves. We need people to constantly be reminding little girls that they can exist however they want and still be a worthy female.

You’re being rather insensitive. People ID as trans for a number of reasons and while we do so sure, maybe we’re not that logical about it. OP isn’t trans anymore they’re detransitioning(if I’m correct) So there’s no need for you to bring up trans people trying to pass. Because passing or not a female is still a female. At the end of the day there’s no reason for a female to be excluded from a female care facility.